


Stimulating Conversation

by threerings



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: AU- What if these two actually talked about things, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Anal Sex, Body Worship, Fic opens during episode 4, First Time, First Time Blow Jobs, Frottage, Hand Jobs, Katsuki Yuuri's anxiety-induced thought processes, Katsuki Yuuri's ridiculously low self-esteem, Light Bondage, Loss of Virginity, M/M, POV Alternating, POV Katsuki Yuuri, POV Victor Nikiforov, Panic Attacks, Sex Toys, Thoughtful Boyfriend Victor Nikiforov, Victor Nikiforov's career issues, Victor's Foot Thing, Yuuri finds out about the banquet way earlier, Yuuri is a kinky virgin with internet access, insecurities all around
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-02
Updated: 2017-07-09
Packaged: 2018-10-26 20:50:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 58,759
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10794513
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/threerings/pseuds/threerings
Summary: Yuuri is determined to get to the bottom of why Victor keeps flirting with him.  This leads to a conversation.  With alcohol.Canon-divergent AU exploring what might have happened had Yuuri and Victor actually communicated far earlier.  A series of conversations and smut as their relationship develops.





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> So when I started this I intended it to be basically just what Chapter One covers. But realized I wasn't anywhere close to done after I'd written that much. I don't currently know how far I intend to take this, but I've got three chapters written already. Whether I decide to really take this through a long stretch of canon or not, I promise it will have an ending. And there will be smut. As of chapter three, things have gotten pretty darn smutty. So don't despair.
> 
> CW: Contains descriptions of the beginnings of a panic attack. It's not very long.
> 
>  
> 
> This is unbeta'd so let me know if you spot any errors. Or if you'd like to be my YOI beta.

Katsuki Yuuri was confused. He was confused by Victor Nikiforov. Which was hardly an epiphany. He'd been some kind of confused since Victor’s inexplicable arrival in Hasetsu. And when you combine his confusion with his deep embarrassment at having his idol suddenly appear (very, very naked) in his childhood home, a home where he has plastered his walls with _posters_ of that very same man...well, he’d been busy enough just not becoming a complete gibbering mess.

It’d taken some time, probably longer than it really should have, for Yuuri to sort through all his various feelings about Victor being here, being his coach, being his incredibly over-the-top self all over Yuuri’s life. But the skating helped. The ice had always helped Yuuri quiet his mind and settle his feelings. And even with the distraction of freaking Victor Nikiforov standing with him on that ice, it helped.

Yurio was also a distraction while he was in town. In the run-up to the Hot Springs on Ice event, Yuuri barely had time to sleep and eat, much less think. But now things had calmed down a bit. It finally felt like Victor was really training him, like they were working together towards a goal. Yuuri still couldn’t believe he was lucky enough for this to be true, and he loved every moment of it.

So Yuuri finally had the time and breathing room to start seriously Thinking About Victor. It would be easy for him to avoid Thinking About Victor and just let Victor pull him along in his wake, confused and thrilled. But Yuuri didn’t want to feel like he was sleepwalking, even if his dream was a really, really nice one. So he forced himself to take advantage of the little bit of time he had to himself in his bedroom every night and Think About Victor.

It didn’t take too long of this for Yuuri to isolate the main problem. The Problem with Victor. It had taken some time but Yuuri had come to almost understand why Victor was here, from a skating point of view. Maybe. But he couldn’t see any possible explanation for Victor’s behavior towards Yuuri on a more personal level.

Yuuri decided it wasn’t his imagination. Victor had been flirting with him since the very moment he’d arrived. No matter how he looked at it, Yuuri couldn’t make that not be true. He’d spent quite a while at the beginning telling himself it WAS his own imagination, fueled by years of desiring the celebrity skater from afar. But it was too frequent, too blatant, and too consistent for Yuuri to dismiss. That was Fact One. Victor was flirting with Yuuri.

Which of course led to the question: _Why_? The only explanation Yuuri was willing to consider was that Victor was just Like That. This must be how he was with _everyone_. That was the obvious answer. It wasn’t specifically directed at Yuuri. He wasn’t special in any way.

Certainly, Yuuri knew Victor had a reputation as something of a playboy. He was definitely one of the sports world’s most eligible bachelors and his affairs often became fodder for the more gossipy media outlets. Victor was often rumored to be seeing someone for brief periods of time. Beautiful people: models, other athletes, actors. None of them seemed to last very long.

From Yuuri’s years in the skating world, he knew slightly less. He’d never heard of Victor behaving scandalously with anyone. There were always rumors, in particular about his relationship with the Swiss skater Christophe Giacometti. Some said they were dating for a while, some that they were just fuck buddies, and others insisted they were only friends. It was difficult to tell with Christophe, who was probably rumored to have slept with most of the people in Seniors level skating.

So Yuuri didn’t know if any of that information helped him. He knew Victor had . . . partners. He knew he’d been rumored to be with both women and men. But surely if Victor always acted the way he’d been acting in Hasetsu, then Yuuri would have heard about it by now? Yuuri considered the possibility that Victor was more careful during the season in order to avoid scandal. Victor did seem to be treating his time at the onsen as something of a holiday, after all.

Yuuri soon came across another difficulty with his current theory: he couldn’t come up with one time Victor had flirted with anyone but himself. He was sure that was wrong and it was just his memory at fault. But as he relived as much as he remembered of each day since Victor’s arrival night after night during Thinking About Victor time, Yuuri couldn’t come up with anything.

‘Well,’ he told himself, ‘it’s not like he has a lot of options around here.’ This was true. The people Victor interacted with on a daily basis consisted of Yuuri and his parents, Yuuko and Takeshi, Mari, and Minako. Of that group only Mari and Minako were really available. It was possible Victor was attracted to Minako, he supposed. He _had_ asked if Yuuri was interested in her, so maybe that was him looking for permission?

But it didn’t change the fact that Yuuri had never actually seen Victor flirt with Minako. Why not? She was an attractive woman, but quite a bit older than Victor. Maybe he was trying to be discreet. Yuuri continued to rack his brains for other potential romantic interests for Victor. There had been a few guests of the onsen in the weeks since his arrival, but Yuuri hadn’t seen Victor interact with any of them with anything other than basic politeness. No one else in the town stuck out in Yuuri’s mind.

Then something happened that suggested a new answer to his burning questions. It was a Friday evening, after a long week of training. Victor suddenly appeared downstairs in the onsen entryway, freshly bathed and dressed. He wasn’t wearing the training clothes Yuuri most often saw him in, but nice gray trousers and a matching vest. Yuuri was reclining in the corner of the dining room, trying to work up the energy to go bathe. So he only had a partial view of the front door as Victor approached it.

“Going out for dinner?” Yuuri’s mother’s voice called.

“Yes, giving you a break from taking care of me,” Victor replied, teasing.

“Vicchan, you know you’re my favorite guest!” Hiroko chided him.

Victor laughed. “Don’t wait up!” And he swept through the door and into the night.

By this point Yuuri was sitting upright, his mind racing. Where _was_ Victor going? And more importantly, _who_ was he going there with? This wasn’t the first time Victor had gone out by himself in the evening. It had happened more frequently in the first weeks of his stay, before their on-ice training had intensified. And then there was that time he had stayed out all night long, Yuuri remembered.

That was it! There _was_ someone Victor was seeing. There had to be. Victor was such a social person, why would he go out somewhere by himself unless he was either meeting someone or looking to meet someone. Yuuri’s heart was pounding, both elated to have made this connection and feeling a little ill to realize he’d been right all along. Victor’s attention to him had been because he was the only eligible person around as a flirting outlet. He must have been looking for a sexual partner, but when Yuuri didn’t respond to his advances he’d gone looking elsewhere.

Before Yuuri really realized what he was doing, he was up and moving to retrieve his shoes from their spot next to the door.

“Yuuri? Are you going out too?” asked his mother. “You promised you would help Mari with the laundry.”

“Oh...” Yuuri looked at the front door for a moment before sending a hopeful look back at his mother. The set of her face told him he was out of luck, however. “Yes, of course,” he said with a quick bow.

The onsen produced a lot of laundry, with huge loads of towels to be washed every day. It had been his job since he reached puberty to assist in carrying the heavy bags of towels from the baths to the laundry room. Since his return he’d taken back up the chore. Tonight he tried to gather and lug the cumbersome bags as quickly as possible. Mari scoffed as he chucked the last bag down next to the machine and turned to leave immediately.

“Sorry, I’ve got something I have to do!” he called, already out the door. Yuuri headed out into the night before anyone could find some other task for him, looking around to see any trace of where Victor had gone.Victor’s usual bicycle was missing from the rack. But where had he headed? He had been dressed nicely, so he must have been going out somewhere. Although Victor had a closet of beautiful suits, he was almost always in comfortable athletic attire in Hasetsu.

Yuuri took one of the remaining bikes from the rack and set off towards the Ice Castle. It was the direction with more attractions, and the route Victor would be most familiar with. There were quite a few restaurants in the streets near the beach that could be his destination.

By the time he reached the first restaurant he was cursing himself. He had been super tired already, his legs jelly after all the skating and jumping he’d done that week. He was sweating heavily and out of breath by the time he reached the first restaurant. He paused in front of the restaurant, dropping his feet from the pedals while he caught his breath, and looked for Victor’s bike. It was nowhere in sight. Damn.

The next place was busy, noise and lights piercing the evening when the door was opened. But again Yuuri didn’t see the bike anywhere. He kept on down the main road, telling himself he was an idiot. Why was he even doing this? He was stalking Victor now? That’s what things had come to?

Yuuri called himself a bunch of names, but he didn’t turn back. There was a noodle shop up ahead he thought Victor had been to before. As he pushed on, he caught sight of an illuminated sign down a side street. He’d never noticed it before, but he really hadn’t spent much time in Hasetsu recently. It wasn’t a particularly well-lit or popular looking place, but Yuuri was drawn towards it.

As he approached the slightly seedy looking place he saw, leaning against the front glass, the bike he had been searching for. Yuuri paused, uncertain now. What was he supposed to do now? Yes, he’d found where Victor had gone. And now what? Go inside? What would he say when Victor spotted him? From the specials listed on the sign in the window it appeared to be a fairly inexpensive bar with a few food items. It wasn’t the kind of place Yuuri had been expecting Victor to visit. Victor would have been equally at home in the finest restaurant in town or a crowded local ramen place. But a slightly down-market dive bar?

Yuuri rested his bike around the corner from the entrance to the bar, feeling that would be more discreet somehow. He imagined himself diving into the shadows to avoid being seen by an exiting Victor. He hesitated again, wondering what he expected to see if he went in. Following Victor had seemed vitally important when he’d seen Victor leaving the onsen, and he’d been completely sure Victor was going to meet someone. But now, he was less sure. Maybe Victor just needed time to himself. Maybe he was tired of Yuuri’s company and the noisy family atmosphere of the onsen. Yuuri could understand that.

But once again his mind filled with the image of Victor meeting a stunningly attractive woman, or man, for drinks. Yuuri could almost hear Victor’s charming laughter, his low, seductive purr. Yuuri’s face heated and his stomach flipped. He had to know. He had to get to the bottom of this.

He pushed open the door to the bar slowly, cracking it slightly and peering inside to try to gauge the layout of the place. Thankfully there was an entryway that turned a 90 degree angle immediately on the other side of the door so he wouldn’t be seen as soon as he stepped inside. Yuuri tried to enter as unobtrusively as possible, softly closing the door behind him. He was fortunate that there was no host or hostess waiting so he was able to peek around the corner and search for silver hair in the dim bar beyond.

He hardly had to search at all. Victor stood out in this place even more than he did everywhere. He appeared to be the only caucasian in the place, which was not exactly packed. Moreover Victor’s luminous beauty clashed with dim, worn decor. Victor was seated at the bar directly in front of Yuuri. Several tables occupied the space between them, but only one had any customers. Yuuri had a perfect view of Victor’s profile and his breath caught in his throat at the sight.

Because Victor looked profoundly sad. He was alone after all, with a large bottle of sake in front of him, his hands wrapped around the small sake cup. He stared at the bar in front of him, seeming to look through it. Yuuri had never seen Victor with anything like this expression on his face. He felt tears sting behind his eyes suddenly at the contrast between this Victor and the cheerful, teasing, silly man Yuuri had come to know.

“Can I help you?” a voice said loudly from Yuuri’s left. He startled with an exclamation. He began making quieting gestures at the proprietor, starting to take a step back towards the door. But it was too late.

“Yuuri!” called Victor’s voice. Yuuri looked at him and tried to smile naturally, though he was pretty sure he failed miserably. No trace of the previous sadness remained in Victor’s face now. If Yuuri hadn’t seen him a moment ago he would never have known Victor was anything but ecstatically pleased with life. “What are you doing here? Come on, have a drink!” Victor motioned him over with expansive gestures. Yuuri winced when he nearly knocked over the sake bottle in front of him, but Victor didn’t seem to notice.

Yuuri noticed the bartender shoot Victor a repressive look, one that spoke volumes about clumsy, loud Russians. Yuuri hastened towards Victor so he hopefully wouldn’t shout across the restaurant again. When he was standing near him Victor continued to motion him towards the bar stool next to him. “Sit down, you want some sake? Here, have my sake.” Victor handed Yuuri his cup as he sat, but it was empty, which Victor only seemed to realize as Yuuri tilted the cup and looked into it. Victor reached for the bottle in front of him and filled the cup. Yuuri could tell there wasn’t much sake left in the bottle. The bartender meanwhile radiated disapproval of the whole interaction, but Yuuri sent him an apologetic look that hopefully conveyed that he would handle this drunk Russian now.

Yuuri took a small sip of the sake. He rarely drank, and when he did he preferred beer to sake or stronger alcohol. But they served a lot of sake at the onsen, so he was pretty familiar with it. From the taste, this was pretty good sake. It was quite dry, while Yuuri preferred his sake sweeter. But it appeared that Victor had already consumed most of the large bottle by himself and from his behavior, he was feeling it.

“What are you doing here?” Victor asked again. “Looking for me?” he added, with a raise of his eyebrows that didn’t look nearly as smooth as Victor probably thought it did. Yuuri smiled at this and took another sip of sake to buy himself time to think of a good explanation.

“I was riding past and I saw your bike,” he hazarded. That was a totally reasonable explanation, surely. Of course, it didn’t explain where he was going or why he was riding down a side-street on a bike in the first place, but maybe he could distract Victor from that. “Why are you here? You weren’t meeting someone, were you?” He couldn’t stop himself blushing as he asked that. He didn’t sound jealous, he assured himself. It was a totally normal question.

“Meeting someone? Nooo,” said Victor, dragging out the last word. “No, I just came for a drink.” He reached for the sake cup then, apparently forgetting that he’d given it to Yuuri. He emptied it and went to refill it, but found there was hardly anything left in the bottle. He frowned. “We need some more, right?” He gestured to the bartender, whose expression went stonier. Yuuri wasn’t sure what to do with the situation. Victor was obviously fairly drunk, though not completely wasted. And he seemed determined to continue drinking. Yuuri could hardly force him to leave and come back home.

As he was trying to come up with something Victor continued. “You have some catching up to do. I’m ahead of you.”

“I don’t really drink much.”

Victor laughed. “Sure you don’t.” Yuuri frowned at that. Did Victor think he was lying?

“Really, I don’t. I don’t like...not being in control.” Victor looked at him thoughtfully. Yuuri felt himself blushing just from the intense scrutiny. Victor smiled.

“I can understand that, I guess,” he said. “But it’s good to lose control every once in a while.” Yuuri bit his lower lip at that, trying not to react too strongly to Victor’s insinuating tone. They looked at each other for several beats before Yuuri broke eye contact by looking away.

“Besides, I’m in training, remember? What kind of coach tries to get his student to get drunk?” He looked down at the bar top rather than at Victor while he said this.

“I didn’t say _drunk,”_ said Victor. “I just said have a drink with me… But if you don’t want to, that’s fine,” he finished quickly. Yuuri looked back at him and there was just a hint of the sadness he’d glimpsed earlier in Victor’s eyes.

“Oh, ok, _fine,_ ” Yuuri relented with a smile. Victor beamed at him. Yuuri gestured as politely as possible to the bartender and requested more of the same sake to split between them. The bartender grudgingly moved to the cooler behind the bar to fulfill their request. Yuuri thought he could be a little nicer, after all they were buying pretty expensive alcohol.

When they both had full cups they sipped for a while in silence. It really was good sake, Yuuri realized. He commented on it to Victor.

“Yeah. I never really had sake before coming here, but I like it a lot. It reminds me of vodka a bit, but I never drink vodka alone so this is a good substitute.”

“Really? Why?”

“Why? Oh, you mean the vodka thing?” Victor shrugged, looking past the bar top again. “Drinking vodka alone is depressing. It should be for good times.”

“And drinking sake alone isn’t depressing?” Yuuri realized after speaking that he might sound judgmental, but before he could backtrack Victor was looking at him and smiling.

“Drinking it with you is better.” They shared another moment of looking at each other. There was a weight between them tonight, possibilities that Yuuri hadn’t really felt since Victor had first arrived. Maybe it was the alcohol, or the setting, outside their usual routine. Sitting with Victor at a bar, drinking...it felt almost like a date. Not that Yuuri had ever actually been _on_ a date.  He cringed at the thought of how incredibly out of his league he currently was. He took a large gulp of sake to cover his embarrassment.

“Besides,” said Victor. “Maybe if I get you drunk I can learn some of your secrets.”

Yuuri coughed as he swallowed. “My secrets?”

“Yes. The secrets of the mysterious Katsuki Yuuri, enigma of the figure skating world.” Yuuri nearly choked again at that.

He laughed and shook his head. “You don’t need to make fun of me.”

“What? You _are_ an enigma.”

“Sure.”

“I’m not joking,” Victor assured. “No one really knows what to make of you, Yuuri. You’re so quiet most of the time and then other times...” Yuuri just looked at the other man as he trailed off. He shook his head and reached to pour them both more sake.

“Ok,” said Victor. “I want to know a secret. Tell me one of your secrets. I know you have some. I’m your coach, I should know your secrets.” Yuuri gave a small laugh at this. It was so Victor to demand that kind of thing. And what secrets did Yuuri have anyway? This was silly. But maybe…

“Ok, I’ll tell you a secret if you tell me one.” Maybe he could somehow get Victor talking about the things Yuuri had been up late at night wondering.

“Excellent!” cried Victor, his eyes sparkling. “You first, though.”

Yuuri sighed and tried to think of something. The only secrets that came to mind all had to do with Victor. His incredible crush on Victor. How long he’d dreamed of meeting Victor. How the worst thing about messing up at the Grand Prix Final had been ruining his chance to meet Victor on the same level. But he couldn’t share any of that.

Victor started drumming his fingers on the bar in a show of impatience. Yuuri sighed and looked at him.

“Ok, but you have to promise not to laugh at me.” Victor nodded sincerely and placed a hand over his heart. Yuuri took a breath.

“You’ve been in my room, right?” Victor nodded, a slight frown on his face. “And you know how the walls are all bare?”

“Yes?” said Victor, clearly not sure what this had to do with anything.

“Well...they didn’t use to be. They used to be covered in posters.” Victor gave him another look that said he was mystified. “Posters of you, ok? All of you. All over the walls. I took them down when you showed up here.” Yuuri held his breath for a moment.

Victor burst out laughing, his eyes sparkling. “REALLY?”

“You promised!” Yuuri cried, slapping Victor’s shoulder as the other man continued to laugh helplessly. “You promised you wouldn’t laugh at me.”

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” Victor said, laughter underneath his words. “I’m sorry, Yuuri, but come on, that’s just...” he waved his hand vaguely.

Yuuri crossed his arms in front of his chest. “You were my favorite skater, ok? I looked up to you. I wanted to skate like you some day.”

Victor placed his hand on Yuuri’s folded arm, his face and voice sobering finally. “I’m sorry, Yuuri. I didn’t mean to laugh. It was just the thought of you hurrying around taking all these posters down when I showed up. The image in my head was funny.” Yuuri found himself smiling despite himself. He looked back at Victor and saw the other man was smiling and his eyes were incredibly warm.

“I’m glad you had posters of me,” he said, his voice low. Yuuri’s breath caught and his heart thumped in his chest. Victor looked away first and his voice returned to a more normal tone. “What other skater would you have posters of anyway? I’m the best.”

“Ugh,” said Yuuri, smacking Victor’s arm again. The mood had lightened and they both drank more sake.

“So that’s your big secret?” asked Victor teasingly.

“It’s embarrassing, ok?” Victor looked at him out of the corners of his eyes but didn’t say anything. He still looked deeply amused. “So now it’s your turn. Spill it.”

Victor didn’t say anything, and the amusement faded from his face. He poured himself more to drink and sipped while staring into the air. Yuuri didn’t interrupt him. He wanted Victor to tell him something real. Something important. Victor Nikiforov probably had a thousand secrets, but Yuuri felt like he was waiting for a very particular one. He reached for his drink, surprised to find his hand was shaking a little when he went to pick it up. He downed the rest of the liquid in his glass to cover his nerves.

Victor shifted on his stool, turning to look at Yuuri again. Yuuri met his eyes, and whatever that feeling that had been in the air between them tonight was suddenly there again. Victor looked at him for the space of several heartbeats and then looked back at his drink.

“I couldn’t stop thinking about you after the Grand Prix Final,” he said softly. Yuuri stared at him, watching Victor’s fingers circle the rim of his cup. He felt his brow pull into a frown and he ran the words through his mind again, trying to understand what they meant. He couldn’t understand them at all.

“What do you mean?” he asked softly. “You didn’t...you didn’t even know who I was.” He was proud of how calmly he managed that sentence, considering how heartbreaking the fact had been at the time.

“Of course I knew who you were,” said Victor. “Yuuri, there were only six skaters there. I’d seen you skate before. Do you think I didn’t know everyone I was competing against?”

Yuuri looked at him and realized he was telling the truth. “Oh.”

“I’ll admit, I didn’t know that much about you or pay that much attention to you at the Final. Until the banquet. Then everything changed.”

Yuuri looked at the other man in complete confusion. “The banquet?” He frowned at Victor for a moment, hoping he’d explain. “What about the banquet?”

Now it was Victor’s turn to stare at Yuuri. “Because the banquet is when I really _noticed_ you, Yuuri. I mean, come on, it’s not every day a gorgeous man tangos with me.” Yuuri’s eyes widened and his stomach dropped. “Not to mention the pole dance.” Yuuri froze and everything suddenly seemed very far away. What? What? Was Victor...joking? He had to be.

“Victor?” he asked, his voice sounding small. Victor’s face went white and his mouth dropped open.

“You...you don’t?” He swallowed and tried again. “You don’t remember.” This time it wasn’t a question, but a statement. His hand covered his mouth beneath his wide eyes.

Yuuri felt his heart thudding in his chest and his breathing speed up. This wasn’t a joke. He...he had...done something at the banquet. Something deeply embarrassing. Pole dancing?? Oh he was going to KILL Phichit for making him take those classes. He’d….danced with Victor? And he didn’t remember it?? He felt like he couldn’t catch his breath and he was hot, hot all over.

He stood up, almost knocking over his stool and having to catch it. He felt Victor grasp his shoulder to steady him and he shrugged it off, mumbling something about needing air before moving as quickly as possible towards the door. Once he got outside the air wasn’t fresh enough, it was too warm and he needed, needed to be somewhere else. He took off walking as quickly as he could down the street, in the direction of the beach.

He had almost made it to the intersection with the main waterfront road when he heard Victor calling from behind him. He stopped at the corner and then heard running behind him, so he didn’t start walking again. He tried to take deep breaths but he still felt his chest was too tight and he couldn’t get enough air.

Victor’s steps pounded up to him and he nearly crashed into Yuuri’s back, his hands pressed to Yuuri’s shoulder blades as he brought himself to a halt. “Yuuri! Are you ok? I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I didn’t realize...”

Yuuri kept trying to breathe as Victor turned him and pulled him into a hug. Yuuri’s arms were held defensively in front of himself so they were crushed in between their bodies as Victor squeezed him. Yuuri closed his eyes and let the front of his body relax into Victor’s warmth. Some of the constriction in his chest eased and he willed his heart and lungs to slow. After a minute or so he straightened and pushed Victor gently away from him. Victor’s arms fell away immediately and Yuuri looked up to see deep concern in the other man’s eyes. Yuuri turned and motioned with his head in a way he hoped conveyed he wanted Victor to follow him.

After checking the street for traffic he crossed and walked along the sea wall a ways until he reached a place that wasn’t bathed in light from a streetlight. He sat on the low wall and closed his eyes, smelling the scent of the sea air and feeling the ocean breeze in his hair. Victor sat next to him, not too close and not too far. He waited for Yuuri to talk.

After several more breaths, Yuuri started. “I don’t remember the banquet. I didn’t want to go, but Celestino made me, and I just remember standing in the corner getting drunk. I drank a lot of champagne. I...don’t remember anything else. Just being pretty drunk and there being lots of people, and then the next morning I was incredibly hung over.” He looked at Victor, silently pleading.

“Yuuri,” Victor began. “I can’t believe I didn’t realize...you WERE really drunk, I knew that. But, it just never occurred to me you wouldn’t remember…I always remember what happens when I’m drunk...” he said wryly. “You just came up to Yurio and challenged him to a dance-off. You seemed really mad at him for some reason.”

“A dance-off?”

“Yeah, it was hilarious.” Yuuri put his head in his hands. “You totally beat him, too. And then other people started dancing and I joined in and then you and I were dancing. And...it was amazing.” Yuuri looked up at him and saw Victor was looking at him with an incredible expression on his face. “We tangoed and had...a really good time. And then you asked me to be your coach.”

“I WHAT?”

“Yeah. God. All this time you had NO MEMORY OF THAT. So you thought I just, what, showed up out of nowhere?”

“Because you saw the video...”

“Well, yes, but also because you asked me to come and be your coach, Yuuri.”

“I’m going to die.” Yuuri buried his head in his hands. He felt Victor touch his shoulder.

“No, this makes so much more sense, now,” the other man said. “Everything makes so much more sense now.”

“Really? Cause I’m not sure any of this makes sense.” Yuuri jerked his head up suddenly. “And wait, you said pole dancing.”

“Yeah that was Chris’ fault. He got a pole from somewhere and the two of you had a competition. You were really, really good at that, you know. How do you know how to pole dance? That’s the kind of secret I want to know.” Victor was pointing at Yuuri in accusation.

“Ugh, it’s Phichit’s fault. He made me take classes with him in Detroit. It was PE credit. He said it’d help with skating.”

“Well I don’t know if it did, but damn.” They were both silent for a while as Yuuri buried his face in his hands again and tried to get his face to turn a color other than beet red.

“Oh my lord,” exclaimed Victor, “What must you think of me? The way I was acting when I showed up and everything I said...you must have thought I was crazy!” Yuuri looked at him and suddenly wished he’d chosen a more well-lit spot so he could see if Victor was blushing.

“I...I was pretty confused,” admitted Yuuri. Victor made a strangled noise and groaned.

“There I was, hitting on you, throwing myself at you, and you just thought, what? We’d never even spoken?” Yuuri felt his heart start racing again.

“Well, yes? Basically?”

“I can’t believe this.”

“I’m sorry,” Yuuri said.

“What do you mean, it’s not your fault.” Victor frowned at him.

“Well it kinda is, I’m the one who got so drunk he forgot an entire night.”

“Yeah but if you hadn’t we’d never have danced and you’d never have asked me to be your coach and I wouldn’t be here now.” They looked at each other. Victor smiled and reached out his hand, placing it palm up on the wall between them.

“Will you forgive me for showing up with no warning and acting like a confusing weirdo?” Yuuri laughed.

“Only if you forgive me for being a terrible drunk who can’t remember acting like a total dork.” He placed his hand over Victor’s. Victor curled his fingers up to lightly hold on.

“A total _sexy_ dork,” he corrected. Yuuri gave a huff of laughter at that and squeezed Victor’s hand. Victor’s thumb traced along the side Yuuri’s hand, stroking lightly. Yuuri turned to look at the ocean over his shoulder to try to keep from having another panic attack. Victor seemed content to sit in silence.

“Victor?” Yuuri asked, something occurring to him. “How did I get back to my room if I was that drunk? Celestino couldn’t have still been there or he’d never have let all that...”

“Oh, no, he left early for some reason. I took you back to your room.”

“You?” Yuuri breathed.

“Yeah. I wanted to make sure you were ok and that nobody...nobody took advantage.”

“Oh. Thanks.” Yuuri felt his face heating again, imagining Victor helping him to his hotel room. Maybe even into his bed?

“No problem.”

“And we didn’t...” Yuuri couldn’t decide whether he was appalled or aroused by the thought of something having happened between him and Victor that night.

“Yuuri! I just said I didn’t want anyone to take advantage! What do you think I am?” Victor seemed genuinely distressed.

“Sorry, sorry, I didn’t mean...I know you wouldn’t...ugh. I… nevermind.”

"Well you did try to kiss me,” said Victor after a beat.

“I did??” Yuuri squeaked.

“Mmm-hmm. I didn’t let you. I really wanted to, though.” Victor was looking at him almost shyly and Yuuri had a feeling of unreality. This couldn’t actually be happening. Any of it. It was the same feeling he’d had when Victor had first shown up, but this time it was more painful. He wanted so much to believe that all this was true, that he was really sitting here holding hands with Victor and Victor was saying how much he’d wanted to kiss him. But it couldn’t actually be real. How could it?

Whatever Victor saw in his face, it made him sober and move towards Yuuri. He slid along the cement wall and when Yuuri unconsciously leaned backwards, he grasped him by the shoulder and wouldn’t let him retreat. Victor stopped when their legs, bent towards each other, touched. He leaned slowly into Yuuri, stopping again with his face about six inches from Yuuri’s. He released Yuuri’s shoulder and brought his hand to Yuuri’s face, brushing his thumb against Yuuri’s lips. Yuuri’s mouth fell open, his breath quickening into shallow pants. He couldn’t have looked away from Victor’s eyes for anything at that moment.

And slowly, slowly, Victor lowered his mouth to Yuuri’s. The first touch of his lips was soft, barely any pressure. Far too soon, Victor pulled back, looking back into Yuuri’s eyes, searching for something. Yuuri licked his lips because they suddenly felt far too dry and then he took a breath and leaned forward to close the distance between them again.

He kissed Victor softly, barely more than a peck, but it was all he had the courage for. He pulled back but didn’t have time to raise his eyes to Victor’s before Victor was kissing him again, this time more forcefully. Victor gripped Yuuri’s chin in his hand and slowly and surely kissed him, moving his lips slowly over Yuuri’s, their mouths slightly open, breathing shallowly against each other.

Yuuri broke his hand away from Victor’s which was still holding on to him. He cupped Victor’s face with both hands and deepened the kiss, needing more. Victor responded with a moan and their tongues were meeting, both pressing into each other in turns. There was some fumbling and clashing of teeth against lips and elbows tangling as they moved against each other, grasping and pressing and trying to get closer. Yuuri had never felt like this, never known anything like this. He’d been kissed before, but those had been pale, bloodless things compared to this kiss. These kisses. He wasn’t even sure how to categorize this. All he knew is he wanted and Victor was wanting back at him and they were somehow in sync with each other in this, as they sometimes were on the ice.

Yuuri didn’t know how long it had been when they finally broke apart, gasping. He knew his lips felt almost raw and his pants felt much too tight. Victor held him still and pressed their foreheads together, both of them breathing heavily into the same few inches of air. As their breathing returned to normal, Yuuri pulled back, and Victor released him. Yuuri tried to gather himself and he looked around in wonder.

“I forgot we were in public!” he squeaked, covering his mouth with his hand. Victor laughed loudly. Soon Yuuri was also laughing behind his hand.

“You’re adorable,” said Victor warmly. Yuuri smiled at him, still blushing. “What do you say to getting out of public and into private?”

Yuuri wondered if that was meant to sound filthy or not and then whether he wanted it to be dirty. He mentally shrugged, feeling too happy to worry about much at the moment. “Yeah, ok,” he replied. As he moved to stand, Victor pulled him back down and kissed him once more. Yuuri couldn’t help smiling into the kiss. The idea that Victor wanted him this way was ringing through him.

Eventually they broke apart and stood, both smoothing their clothing and hair where it’d been mussed by their embraces. They walked slowly in the direction of the bar to retrieve their bikes. At least they did once Yuuri reminded Victor about them. Yuuri was a little sad they had to fetch the bikes as he felt a slow walk back to the onsen with Victor would have been perfect.

Instead they couldn’t really talk over the sound of their bikes and the wind. After they reached the onsen and had secured the bikes back into their rack, Victor reached for Yuuri again, stoking his hand down the other man’s back as he straightened from locking his bike into place. Yuuri felt the touch through his whole body and gasped loudly in the quiet of the night.

He spun towards Victor and the next thing he knew Victor had him pressed against the wall and was kissing him desperately. Their bodies pressed against each other along their whole lengths and Yuuri could feel the roughness of the wall behind him through his clothing.

Victor was an amazing kisser, Yuuri decided. His own movements felt clumsy in comparison as he clutched at the taller man and gasped into his mouth. But Victor felt like grace personified as he moved against Yuuri. Victor seemed to know exactly what would make Yuuri’s breath catch and how his body would respond even before Yuuri himself did. Their bodies moved together without any conscious direction on Yuuri’s part, undulating against each other in a dance of friction and pressure. Victor’s hand was on Yuuri’s hip, grasping but not directing the pressing motion.

Victor kissed his way down Yuuri’s throat as Yuuri raised his face skywards, trying to catch his breath. Victor’s tongue swiped into the crease where his neck and shoulder met and Yuuri reacted by clutching hard at Victor’s back, burying his hands into the other man’s clothing, sure he would fall if he let go. Yuuri was overwhelmed by the stimulation, too many amazing sensations in too many places on his body. Victor’s mouth at his throat, nipping now, the feel of Victor’s muscular upper back under his hands, Victor’s hands grasping at him, the grip on his hip, the nearly painful hardness of his erection pressing against the other man, and the incredible feel of pressure from the other man’s hard length.

Yuuri clung to Victor and gasped for air.  After some moments Victor lifted his lips from Yuuri’s throat and he could hear the other man taking deep breaths as well. Victor’s arms slid around him and clasped him closer in an embrace and Yuuri gratefully buried his face into Victor’s shoulder. He felt so much less exposed with his face hidden. The two men remained clutching each other for long minutes, their breathing gradually slowing together.

As the electric tension drained from Yuuri’s body he became aware of exactly how tired he was. His muscles felt heavy where they weren’t aching.

“I...” he broke the silence hesitantly. “I should really get to bed. I’m actually super exhausted.” He winced, hoping Victor didn’t take his words as an excuse or personal slight.

“Oh,” said Victor, pulling back to look at him. “Oh, Yuuri, of course...” He smiled. “You worked hard today.” Yuuri felt himself blushing as he smiled back at his coach.

He felt he should really say something else, but instead turned swiftly and walked towards the front door of the onsen. He made himself slow down as he reached the door, hearing Victor following some steps behind him. He opened the door and held it for the other man, who reached as if to catch the door, brushing his hand across Yuuri’s as he did. Their eyes met and Yuuri watched Victor face break into a smile. It felt like a secret moment, a smile full of promise shared between them.

Victor moved past him into the inn. Yuuri removed his shoes quickly, not wanting to see his family right then. He felt like they would be able to see everything that had passed between him and Victor with a glance. He was sure it was written all over his face. “I kissed Victor Nikiforov” was probably written on him as clearly as the lettering on his rink t-shirt. He hurried up the stairs and into his room.

He realized then that he still needed to take a bath before he could sleep. He hadn’t cleaned up after practice, he’d been so tired. He sniffed himself. Did he smell terrible? Had he been pressing himself all over Victor when he reeked? He fell into his desk chair and buried his head in his hands. Oh god. The reaction to the evening set in and he was overcome with a wave of embarrassment. Had that really happened? Had Victor really said those things? Had he really been...grinding against Victor Nikiforov only minutes ago? He felt the familiar panic start to rise in his chest. How? How could he have ever thought? He could’t be with someone like Victor. _Victor._ Victor Nikiforov didn’t need people like _him_.

A sudden knock on his door made him startle. It had sounded incredibly loud, but he was sitting right next to the door so it probably wasn’t. “Yuuri?” came Victor’s voice softly through the door.

Yuuri’s heart raced and he tried to take a calming breath but didn’t feel particularly calmed. He reached out while still seated and opened the door slightly. Victor started slightly and then looked down to find Yuuri sitting sideways in his desk chair.

“Are you ok?” Victor asked.

“Umm, maybe?” It was the best response Yuuri could come up with.

“Can I...come in?” asked Victor. Yuuri nodded, gesturing into the room. Victor slid the door open and stepped through before carefully closing it silently. He looked around, seeming at a loss for a moment before crossing the room and taking a seat on the very edge of Yuuri’s bed.

Yuuri could still feel the panic fluttering in his chest and he looked away from Victor to try to get a hold of himself.

“Yuuri,” Victor said, leaning forward and placing a hand on Yuuri’s knee. It was only then that Yuuri realized his leg had been bouncing. He looked up, startled, and locked eyes with Victor. He felt drawn in by Victor’s beautiful eyes, as if he couldn’t look away He breathed heavily, trying to force the nervous energy down. He felt almost like he was floating, drawn out of his body by Victor’s gaze. After countless moments he felt his body calm, breath by breath. He felt his muscles, which had been tensed for flight, relax. He blinked several times before shifting into a more natural posture. Victor let his hand fall from Yuuri’s knee and sat back himself.

Yuuri crossed his arms in front of his chest. “Sorry.”

“You really need to stop apologizing so much,” said Victor. He paused, seeming to consider his words carefully. “Was there something specific that upset you?” Yuuri studied him a moment. Victor looked...unsure. Almost scared. That didn’t make sense to Yuuri. Victor wasn’t supposed to ever look that way. Victor raised an eyebrow then and Yuuri realized he’d asked a question.

“Oh, umm...not really?” He thought back. He’d been thinking of a bath and then he’d just...fallen apart again. “Yeah, I just...do that.” He shrugged. “I fall apart. I don’t always know why.”

“You’d tell me, right? If I did something that upset you?” Victor leaned forward slightly to catch Yuuri’s eyes. “Please?” That drove the breath from Yuuri’s lungs, that ‘please.’ He closed his eyes and nodded.

“Yes. I meant it.” He took another steadying breath. “It was just...everything?” He met Victor’s eyes again, willing the other man to understand. “Overwhelming,” he added in a whisper.

Victor’s expression went soft at that and he smiled. “I can understand that.”

Yuuri felt himself smiling back at Victor. He slumped in his chair, feeling the weight of fatigue set back into his muscles. He wondered how terrible it would be if he didn’t go take a bath tonight. Victor interrupted this train of thought. “I came in to...make sure you were ok. And because we should...have a conversation. But I can see you’re tired and it’s ok. We can talk tomorrow.”

Yuuri looked at him with gratitude. He really didn’t have the energy, physical or emotional, for a serious talk tonight. He felt a small stirring of worry at what Victor wanted to discuss, but he pushed it back down. He really didn’t need to work himself up again.

“I’m so exhausted. And I need to take a bath, I’m still smelly from practice. But I was just sitting here wondering if I even have the energy to make it downstairs again.” He didn’t realize his eyes had closed until he sensed Victor close to him and they snapped open again. Victor had leaned into his space again and was only inches away. Yuuri wondered if he was going to kiss him when Victor gave an exaggerated sniff in the direction of Yuuri’s armpit.

“Smells ok to me,” he pronounced seriously. Yuuri snorted and gave Victor a playful shove backwards. “As your coach, I order you to go to bed, immediately. I’m going to require your full attention tomorrow.”

Yuuri rolled his eyes, pulling himself to his feet. “You always demand my full attention. You love attention,” he teased.

“Very true,” said Victor, smiling as he also got to his feet. He took a step forward, face serious again. Yuuri leaned into his body and rested his head gently on the other man’s shoulder again. Victor’s arms surrounded him and squeezed lightly. After only a few moments, his arms dropped again and they stepped apart. Victor moved to the door.

“Goodnight Yuuri,” he said, very softly. Yuuri smiled and met his coach’s eyes.

“Night, Victor.” Victor turned and left the room, closing the door softly behind him. Yuuri stripped his clothing off as quickly as he could, considered getting out something to sleep in before giving up and letting himself fall into his bed. He reached to turn off the lamp and pulled his sheets around himself as he settled into his usual position facing the wall. He only had a minute or so to relive the evening and Victor’s kisses before he drifted off, a smile still on his face.


	2. Chapter Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The night after their first kiss(es), Victor takes Yuuri to the beach for a talk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I debated how much I wanted this fic to fit into or replace canon-as-we-know-it. To some extent I haven't entirely decided, but this scene on the beach is a replacement of the scene we got in Ep 4 of the show.

Victor Nikiforov woke early on Saturday. He laid in bed and listened to the noises of the onsen for a while, enjoying the hushed quiet, the only distinct sounds coming from the kitchen somewhere below him as staff prepared for the day’s activity. In the time he’d been in Hasetsu, Victor had come to feel a deep affection for this place. There was something soothing about the town, the people, the onsen.

Victor let his thoughts drift to Yuuri, who was doubtless still snoring in his bed. He hoped he was, at least. He needed his rest, and Victor hoped his anxiety hadn’t returned to trouble him. It had been so hard to see Yuuri upset the night before. Victor had felt such fear at that moment, afraid something he had done was responsible for Yuuri’s distress. He wondered if he’d pushed things too quickly, followed the urgings of his own desires instead of being sensitive to the other man’s needs. It had been so easy to forget Yuuri’s inexperience when they were kissing.

Victor allowed himself to relive the feel of Yuuri’s lips on his, Yuuri’s arms around him, Yuuri’s body pressed against him in the shadows. For a brief time Victor had felt like he’d broken through a wall with Yuuri, a dam holding back a flood of desire and sensuality. He’d felt in danger of drowning in the pleasure of the younger man’s embrace.

But he’d sensed a jarring shift in Yuuri once they entered the inn. Yuuri had retreated up the stairs without a backwards glance at Victor. And then he’d found the man practically non-responsive when he’d knocked on his door.

In retrospect it wasn’t that surprising. If Victor had taken a moment for clear thought, he might have predicted Yuuri would pull away from him. It had been a definite pattern in their interactions so far, after all. Victor had just hoped that was behind them now.

Well, he was going to do the best he could to make this work, hopefully without driving his partner into any more panic attacks. Yuuri had a bad habit of trying to run from his problems, so Victor would just have to take responsibility and make sure he couldn’t. And he did feel a responsibility. He was older, more experienced, and Yuuri’s coach, after all. So it was up to him.

Victor stretched and got out of bed. He felt full of energy this morning. It was a rest day for Yuuri, so he needed to burn off some of this energy somehow since he wouldn’t be on the ice. Victor threw on some workout clothes and headed out for a morning jog with Makkachin. He wanted some time to mentally prepare for the conversation he knew he needed to have with Yuuri as well.

~~~

 

“Oh, good, you’re finally awake!” said Victor as he entered the dining room of the inn. Yuuri looked up from his place at one of the tables where he was blearily sipping tea. “You didn’t eat breakfast yet, did you?”

“What?” It appeared Yuuri hadn’t been awake very long. Victor held up the white box in his left hand while also trying to keep Makkachin from winding his leash around his legs.

“I bought us breakfast!” he announced. “From that pastry shop.”

“I’m not allowed to eat pastry,” Yuuri said, looking at him like Victor had gone insane.

“You are today,” pronounced Victor. “Come on, I promised Makkachin we could go to the beach, but we had to come get you first.”

“The beach?”

“Yeah, breakfast on the beach.” Victor shot him his most charming smile. “Come on.” Yuuri ran his hand through his hair, still damp from bathing, and shrugged, before reaching for his shoes.

Victor led the way through Hasetsu’s streets to a spot on the beach he’d scoped out earlier. There was partial shade high up on the shore, and it was a good distance from anyone else out this morning. Victor released Makkachin to run through the sand and play in the surf, while opening the box of pastries. I _should have brought a blanket or towel to make this a real picnic_ , he thought. Luckily he’d remembered to ask Hiroko for some tea to take with them.

He looked over at Yuuri, who was just settling himself on the sand and leaning over to peer into the box of tempting treats. Yuuri seemed uncertain today, hesitant.

“I didn’t know what kind you liked, so I got an assortment.”

“I see that. We can’t eat all of these!” objected Yuuri.

“Then we’ll give them to someone. Come on, pick what you want because I’m starving.” Yuuri reached for a fairly plain sweet roll, looking up at Victor as if to ask if his choice was ok. Victor sighed and chose a chocolate filled pastry for himself.

They munched their breakfast in silence, Victor going back to try a second variety, Yuuri seeming to ration his roll to make it last as long as possible. Victor watched Makkachin romping and reminded himself of all the things he’d thought about during his run, the things he’d decided he needed to discuss with Yuuri. Beginning the conversation now seemed so much more difficult than he’d imagined. He couldn’t find the right words, suddenly convinced that the wrong words would send Yuuri back into panic mode.

“Is everything . . .alright?” Yuuri’s soft question broke into Victor’s train of thought. Victor turned to look at the other man and saw concern on his face. Victor took a deep breath.

“Yes. At least, I hope it is,” he answered. Yuuri’s expression smoothed out a bit. “I...I wanted a chance for us to talk. About last night, and . . .everything.” Yuuri nodded seriously at this.

“You got upset last night. And I know you said it wasn’t my fault, but I just want to make sure. And,” he continued, putting up a hand to stop Yuuri from interrupting him. “And I know things happened fast last night. It was a lot to take in, especially for you, learning about the banquet. So I want you to know that we don’t have to rush anything. We can take our time. I don’t want to do anything to make you uncomfortable. I just want to know what you want. And if you don’t know what you want, that’s ok too.” He trailed off, feeling his words were a poor representation of everything he was feeling.

Yuuri looked at him for several moments, his lips moving slightly as if reaching for words. He opened his mouth as if to speak and instead let out a puff of air. His inability to speak lasted a few more seconds, until to Victor’s distress his eyes began to fill with tears. “Thank you, Victor,” he said finally, his voice full of emotion.

After that Yuuri looked away, at the ocean and Makkachin. Makkachin seemed to sense Yuuri’s gaze because he chose that moment to romp up to him, feet wet and sand flying in his wake. Yuuri laughed and ruffled Makkachin’s fur. Victor smiled widely, watching them as they played together. Makkachin was always good at sensing when someone needed comfort. Victor reached for another pastry as he ran through the other things he wanted to talk with Yuuri about.

Yuuri looked over at him, smiling. His eyes were no longer wet, Victor was relieved to see, and Yuuri looked from the pastry in Victor’s hand to the box.

“Have another one,” Victor suggested. “If you’re going to indulge, do it right.” Yuuri smiled at that, blushing slightly and using a finger to investigate his options. Victor would never get over those blushes. They made something in him tingle every time. Yuuri was so unaware of how tempting he was.

Victor smiled as Yuuri made his choice, a jewel of a pastry with glazed strawberry slices arranged in a perfect circle on the top. Victor had chosen it because it was beautiful and a ridiculous warmth filled him to know Yuuri appreciated it too. He watched Yuuri’s mouth as he bit into the flaky crust, bits of pastry falling everywhere. Some of the syrupy glaze stuck to Yuuri’s top lip and Victor imagined leaning close and licking it off. He swallowed and looked away before his imagination could get completely carried away.

“So you’ve never...” Victor began, “dated anyone?” He heard Yuuri cough slightly on his pastry at the question. Victor held himself as casually as possible, his voice light, no judgment in his tone, he hoped.

“Umm, no,” said Yuuri. He took another bite and swallowed it before speaking again. “I..went on a couple of dates, but that was it.”

Victor glanced at him, seeing his face had colored again. “Why?” Yuuri gave him a confused look. “I mean, why not? I can’t believe no one was interested. You were probably tripping over people trying to ask you out.”

Yuuri’s eyes widened. “Me? No.”

Victor gave him a skeptical look. “Trust me, Yuuri, people wanted to date you. You’re gorgeous.”

Yuuri laughed nervously and his face went redder. “I...you...don’t say that.”

“What? Why not?” Victor moved then to close the distance between them. He reached a hand to Yuuri’s face and turned it so Yuuri was looking into Victor’s eyes while he spoke. “Yuuri, I’m serious. You’re beautiful. I can’t believe you don’t even know that.”

The moment was a soft one, stretching between them as Victor lightly stroked along Yuuri’s jaw. He willed the other man to believe him. Yuuri’s hand rose to touch Victor’s face, too, before his thumb brushed lightly along Victor’s bottom lip. Yuuri slowly leaned forward, and then he was kissing Victor.

It was soft, but not hesitant. Yuuri placed a series of soft kisses on Victor’s lips, with devastating effect to Victor’s composure. Part of him wanted to growl and press Yuuri into the sand, but instead he held back and let himself be kissed, however Yuuri wanted it.

Yuuri’s mouth opened slightly, his tongue brushing Victor’s lips and Victor met him in gentle, open-mouthed kisses. They were still barely touching each other, Victor’s hand brushing Yuuri’s neck now, while Yuuri still gently cupped Victor’s face. Victor began to feel tremors through his whole body from the tension of holding himself back, the delicious effort of restraint.

After another endless moment, Yuuri pulled back, leaving Victor feeling breathless and weak. There was a delightful smile in Yuuri’s eyes that Victor returned as he took a shuddering breath to try to pull himself together.

“Well,” Victor said with a grin, “What were we talking about?”

Yuuri laughed, a fantastic sound. They both sat in silence for a while, watching the waves and Makkachin, who had settled down just out of reach of the water, occasionally reaching a paw out to slap at the water.

“So, how do you feel about...being together, in public?” Victor asked finally. It had been one of the things holding him back from deepening the kiss with Yuuri. He didn’t know how the other man would react if someone saw them.

“Hmm,” returned Yuuri. “I don’t know? I mean,” he gestured around them, “obviously I don’t feel too bad about it here.”

“But there’s no one here,” pointed out Victor.

“There could be,” said Yuuri reasonably. “I don’t know. I don’t really want to _hide_ , but I’m not sure I want everyone to _know_ right away either. Does that make any sense?”

“Hmm, sure,” said Victor, mostly relieved that Yuuri didn’t feel like hiding. “What about around your family, Minako, the Nishagoris?”

“Umm, not yet?” Yuuri shrugged apologetically. “I...don’t really want to answer a bunch of questions from anyone yet.” Victor liked the sound of “yet.” It implied a future to this relationship that he couldn’t help but feel excited about.

So they would take things slowly. Victor could do that. He’d waited long enough, after all. He wouldn’t push. He ran through all the questions he wanted to ask Yuuri, everything he wanted to know. He tried to push his curiosity away. They’d have time.

“You didn’t answer my question, though,” he said without really meaning to speak.

“What question?”

“Why you didn’t ever date anyone. Not that it’s a problem,” Victor added hurriedly. “I’m just curious.”

“Oh,” said Yuuri thoughtfully. “I was just busy, I guess. I mean, skating and competing and going to college. And my English wasn’t so great when I got to Detroit, so I didn’t socialize a lot. But you know how it is during the season. I don’t know how I’d have had time to date.”

“Yeah, you’re right.”

“Of course, _you_ always seemed to find time,” added Yuuri in an mildly accusing tone.

“What do you mean?” objected Victor.

“Come on, you were always supposed to be dating someone. Some model, or that French actor, or whoever.”

“I...but... they were never serious,” said Victor. Yuuri shot him a skeptical look. “Really! I always had people shoving attractive people at me. My agent was the worst, she was constantly trying to get me to date high-profile people. Especially women. And, you know, sometimes it was easier just to go out with them for a while. But nobody ever...” He didn’t know exactly how to make Yuuri understand, without making a bigger confession than he felt Yuuri was ready for. “Skating was always the most important thing for me.”

They were quiet for a moment. “Especially women?” Yuuri repeated. “So, do you, I mean, you like women, right?”

Victor smiled. “Yeah, I do, to a certain extent. They’re pretty, and I like spending time with women.” He looked over at Yuuri, who was watching him intently. “But they just don’t quite. . .excite me as much as men. I really prefer men.” He thought he saw Yuuri’s posture relax a bit at that and it brought another smile to his face.

Victor stretched out, lying back into the sand. “I tried it, it was okay, even nice sometimes, but...” he turned his body towards Yuuri and met his eyes, lowering his voice, “I’d much rather have a beautiful man in my bed.”

He watched Yuuri’s breath catch and Victor smiled wickedly. He’d enjoyed making Yuuri react that way ever since he arrived in Japan. It had sometimes been the only indication he wasn’t completely off-base in his desires. Now he could be far more blatant about it, which was fantastic.

Yuuri returned Victor’s smile and stretched himself out on the sand, mirroring Victor’s posture. Victor admired the graceful way the other man moved, even in such a simple act. Victor half expected Yuuri to kiss him again, but instead they just looked at each other.

“What about you?” asked Victor, in the same low, teasing tone. “Do you harbor any secret desires for any women?”

Yuuri laughed. “Nope.”

“Not at all?” asked Victor, dropping some of the playfulness from his tone. These were questions he really wanted answered.

Yuuri gave a half-shrug, lifting the shoulder he wasn’t resting on. “When I was little I had a crush on Yuuko-san. But once I got older. . .I could really only imagine myself with boys.”

Victor reached out and placed his hand lightly on Yuuri’s hip. “Hmm, sometime you’re going to have to tell me the kind of things you imagined.”

Yuuri’s face went bright red at that. “No, no no,” he said, his hand waving between them urgently.

Victor’s grin widened. “Oh, yes, now I think you have to.” He leaned more into Yuuri’s space, until their faces were only inches apart. Yuuri’s eyes widened. He shook his head slowly. Victor brought his hand up from Yuuri’s hip, brushing along his side and arm. He brought his thumb up to trace Yuuri’s lips. “I want to know what you imagine when you’re alone in bed. What you dreamed about,” Victor whispered, sliding still closer to the other man.

Yuuri made a breathy sound, almost a moan. He opened his mouth and Victor took the opportunity to press his thumb between his lips, lightly touching the other man’s teeth and feeling the wetness of his mouth. Yuuri’s breath caught beautifully and his body arched towards Victor. Yuuri opened his mouth wider then, sucking Victor’s thumb inside and running his tongue around the tip. It was Victor’s turn to moan slightly then. After only few seconds he pulled his thumb back, not wanting to push anything.

Yuuri looked at him intently and said, “You.”

“What?” Victor’s mind hadn’t quite recovered from having Yuuri sucking on his thumb.

“You. Are what I imagined. In my bedroom. With your posters looking down on me.” Yuuri’s voice was low but sure, almost seductive. His expression reminded Victor of what he looked like when he skated Eros.

And his words...Victor was absolutely sure he’d never had anyone say anything to him that had aroused him as much as that. The image those words conjured up, of a young (only slightly younger in Victor’s mind) Yuuri lying naked in his bed, looking up at posters of Victor while he touched himself, imagining Victor touching him.

Yuuri watched him as he imagined it, as if he could read Victor’s thoughts and was enjoying them. Victor’s breathing had become shallow and Yuuri’s sped up to match. Victor was getting hard now, his body longing to press against Yuuri and he almost moved to do so, but suddenly he heard Makkachin bark and he remembered where they were.

He pulled back from Yuuri with a jerk and sat up. He pulled his legs up to make his erection less obvious as he tried to subtly adjust it to lie flat against his stomach. His face felt hot. He sensed Yuuri moving too, coming into a seated position.

“Sorry,” Yuuri mumbled. Victor turned quickly to look at him. The other man was also red, his eyes down.

“Don’t apologize!” Victor insisted. “ _Please_ don’t apologize. _Please,_ say that again. When we’re not in public.” Yuuri looked at him “That’s all, it’s just we’re in public and...” He waved his hand to express his frustration with the imagined hordes that might see them.

“Oh. Ok.” Yuuri stared into the distance for a while and Victor focused on his breathing, trying to get both it and his arousal back under control. It had been a long time since he’d felt quite this...adolescent. Here he was worried about being spotted being naughty in public and all they were even doing was talking. They had barely even kissed and Victor felt like he was on fire from head to toe.

“So,” Victor tried for a casual tone. “The way I see it, we have two options.” He waited to make sure he had Yuuri’s attention. He wanted to laugh at the serious look the younger man gave him. Yuuri looked to him like Victor had any idea what he was doing. “Either we can find somewhere to be that is a lot more private, and continue that conversation,” and Yuuri’s expression was priceless at that, somewhere being deeply embarrassed and eager, “or we can find something else to do for the day.”

Yuuri frowned. “I was hoping you had something slightly more helpful up your sleeve,” he grumbled.

Victor shrugged. “I don’t actually claim to know what I’m doing with this, Yuuri.”

“You _have_ to know better than I do.”

“I really don’t,” Victor offered with another shrug. “Look, I may be more experienced when it comes to sex, but I’m terrible at relationships.”

“Oh now you tell me,” Yuuri said with a smirk. Victor smiled back in appreciation of the teasing.

Victor belatedly realized what he’d said. “Is that what this is?” Victor asked, suddenly wondering if he wanted the answer. “A relationship?” Yuuri met his eyes, and Victor tried to silently convey how much he wanted the answer to be yes.

Yuuri was silent for longer than Victor was entirely comfortable with. “Is that what you want?” he finally asked, softly.

“Yes,” said Victor without hesitation, and then Yuuri had closed the space between them and they were kissing.

Victor was caught off-balance by Yuuri’s rush, and he struggled to catch the other man’s weight. After a few seconds of their lips moving against each other, their combined weight shifted Victor’s balance and he knew they would fall. He let go and let it happen, tightening his arms around Yuuri and pressing his mouth up into the kiss more firmly. Even so he gave a grunt as his back hit the sand, and Yuuri’s mouth released him for a moment. Victor didn’t give him a chance to say anything, but reached up and pulled the other man back down hard against him.

It was like the other times they’d kissed. Everything else went away, and all that existed for Victor was Yuuri’s mouth, Yuuri’s body against him, the feel of Yuuri in his arms. And legs, since this time Victor could wrap his legs around Yuuri’s and capture the full length of the other man.

And Yuuri was incredible. He kissed Victor fiercely, intently, with no hesitation. His body shifted hungrily against Victor’s, setting him on fire with need. He was rock hard again, his hips moving of their own volition, thrusting up against Yuuri’s. Victor’s right hand slid down the curve of Yuuri’s back to grasp at his ass, using the leverage to coordinate the timing of their hips to give them both the most friction. Yuuri moaned into his mouth at that and Victor wanted to do anything to make him do it again.

Suddenly a weight crashed into them and Yuuri cried out into Victor’s mouth. Many things happened at once and there was a confused few seconds. At the end of them Yuuri had rolled off Victor and was lying next to him. They both looked up at Makkachin, who was sprawled with his weight covering both of them, slobber falling from his doggy grin onto Victor’s chest, the smell of wet dog pungent.

Victor started to laugh, which was unfortunate as he was already short of breath, so he spent the next minute alternating between helpless laughter and gasping for air. The gasps only made him laugh harder. That and the fact that Yuuri was giggling next to him, clutching at his shoulder, and he was adorable.

Eventually they got themselves untangled and upright, with Makkachin bouncing around enjoying this new game immensely. They made their way back to the inn where they realized they had to clean up the dog before he could be allowed inside, covered with sand and salt as he was.

And naturally after that they were both dirty and wet and needed to have their own baths. Victor was careful to avert his eyes while he and Yuuri scrubbed down and while they were getting in and out of the onsen. He’d never been bothered by nudity, any modesty or shyness he’d had about his body worn away by years of athletic competition, locker rooms, and skin-tight costumes. And Yuuri, having grown up in the onsen, seemed fairly comfortable with nudity as well. But there was a new awareness between them now, something neither acknowledged out loud, but which buzzed between them all the same. Victor focused on not thinking about their moments pressed together on the beach, to prevent an embarrassing reaction. He was only moderately successful.

After their soak, they retired to their separate rooms to change. It crossed Victor’s mind to invite Yuuri into his room as they approached it. The thought of having the other man in private, wearing nothing but one of the onsen robes was delicious. But he reminded himself of his promise not to push, so he turned away with nothing but a smile directed at the other man.

After he was changed, Victor opened the door to his room and gazed down the hall towards Yuuri’s door at the far end, which remained firmly closed. Again he struggled with his own inclination to barge into the other man’s space. Victor wasn’t particularly good at restraint. But Yuuri was practically the personification of it. Except when he wasn’t. There was a tantalizing contrast between the carefully controlled, painfully hesitant young man Yuuri projected most of the time and the utterly wild and passionate man Victor had seen at the banquet and more recently when he’d held him in his arms. It made Victor want to push Yuuri’s boundaries, make him lose control. Unfortunately, he was afraid that losing control might sometimes look more like the terrified boy hunching in his desk chair last night than the glorious mostly naked man dancing with a pole.

So he would work on his own restraint. He would wait for Yuuri to be ready. He could do that. It was worth it.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next: Yuuri wants to talk about that banquet...but will he get distracted...
> 
> I'm on [Tumblr](https://kimthreerings.tumblr.com/), come ramble about YOI with me.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuuri has questions about that banquet. Victor has video.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In which I earn my Explicit rating...

When Yuuri made it into his bedroom after his morning at the beach with Victor, he fell backwards onto his bed in relief. He pulled his pillow over his face and screamed into it.

He felt better after that. His mind was still racing, but his emotions felt slightly more under control. So much had happened in the last 24 hours that Yuuri couldn’t really absorb it. It all felt slightly unreal. There was just no way he’d been lying on top of Victor Nikiforov on the beach, kissing the man of his dreams, hands clutching at him, both of them hard and grinding into one another.

Right? That was impossible. And yet, unless Yuuri had gone _completely_ insane, it had happened. He felt there must have been some mistake somewhere. Some misunderstanding that had confused Victor into thinking he, Katsuki Yuuri, was someone other than who he was.

He supposed there was, actually, now that he thought about it. There was that banquet after the Grand Prix Final. The banquet he still had almost no memory of. What had he done that had convinced Victor he was worth all this? It couldn’t be just dancing with him. A pole dance? Was that what had done it? Him taking off his clothes? Is that the only reason Victor was here?

That thought rattled around in Yuuri’s head for a bit and he felt the panic start to build in his chest. He’d thought Victor was here because of Yuuri’s skating and now...he wasn’t sure. Yuuri rolled over and curled up on his side, clutching the pillow to his chest. He squeezed his eyes shut and focused on his breaths. He let himself recall the feel of Victor’s lips against his, Victor’s arms around him. And then Victor’s voice in the rink, calling instructions to Yuuri as he skated. Praise when he did well, and unflinching critique when he failed.

Yuuri valued all of it. All of it was precious to him. He didn’t know what was happening with Victor exactly. He didn’t know how long this dream would last. But he wanted to make the most of every moment he got with him.

Yuuri got up after a few more minutes of rest, feeling more at peace with himself. He made his way to the hallway outside Victor’s room, relieved when he found the door open and Victor sprawled on his bed with Makkachin reading something on his phone.

Victor evidently heard him coming because he looked up as Yuuri stopped in the doorway. “Hey.”

“Hey,” Yuuri returned, trying to match Victor’s casual tone. Unfortunately he couldn’t come up with what to say next. ‘Hi, how are you, can we make out now?’ didn’t sound like the kind of thing he was looking for while ‘So did you just come to Japan to get laid?’ wasn’t the most subtle way to answer that particular question.

He was a bit relieved when he heard footsteps on the nearby staircase. It was Mari, come to tell them the family dinner was ready. Yuuri and Victor usually missed family meals due to their training schedule, so Hiroko had declared dinners on rest days would be special weekly events. Attendance was mandatory, even for Victor, which had been made clear when their guest had tried to excuse himself early on.

Victor hopped up from his bed and fell into line behind Yuuri to head to the dining room. Yuuri felt very aware of the other man’s presence behind him, the skin on his back almost tingling with the awareness. He pushed the feeling away, desperately hoping his family wouldn’t be able to spot the new tension between himself and Victor. He could imagine few things more embarrassing than having the family grill him about it over dinner. He needed to keep this new Thing between them to himself for now. He was a little afraid that if it was exposed to too much scrutiny it would vanish in a puff of smoke.

To Yuuri’s relief, his family didn’t seem to notice anything different. The meal went smoothly, and Yuuri was happy his mother had made shioyaki because he could eat the grilled fish even if he looked longingly at everyone else’s rice bowls. Victor ate with his normal appetite and enthusiasm. After the meal the family chatted for a time, asking after Yuuri’s training and the progress on his free program. Yuuri winced at the reminder he still hadn’t chosen the music. He decided he would email the music student that night. He had ideas now on how to improve the feel of the piece.

Before too long Hiroko got up to return to the kitchen, saying she needed to clean up from dinner. Victor jumped up and offered to wash dishes. Yuuri flushed with embarrassment and his parents both insisted he didn’t need to help, but Victor stubbornly refused to listen. Somehow Yuuri found himself stationed next to Victor to supervise his efforts. There were certain ways things were done, even in such a simple-seeming task.

Yuuri soon found himself laughing at Victor’s consternation at being repeatedly corrected by his student. Yuuri’s heart ached when he met Victor’s laughing eyes, both of them splashed with far more water than they should have been. He found himself standing closer to Victor, their arms brushing against each other as they worked.

When the pile of dishes were done Hiroko chased them out of her kitchen. She was smiling, but Yuuri suspected she was glad to see them leave. She didn’t tolerate amateurs in her space easily. It was still early, the summer sun just setting, but Yuuri knew he had to get up early to get back to training the next day. But he still wanted to be with Victor. He remembered the questions he had wanted to ask earlier.

“Can we talk?” he asked quietly.

Victor met his eyes, nodded seriously, and gestured towards the stairs with his head. Yuuri nodded and they made their way back upstairs. Victor hesitated again slightly before turning to his own bedroom. Yuuri’s mind flooded with intrusive images of just what he and Victor could do in Victor’s bed, and he grimaced as he struggled to clear his thoughts. He’d had quite a bit of practice at not thinking of his sexual fantasies when he was around Victor since the other man had arrived. But since the previous night it was becoming far more difficult to ignore those thoughts.

Yuuri paused just inside the door to the room and slid it closed behind him for privacy’s sake. So that Victor didn’t get the wrong idea, Yuuri walked over to the small couch on the other side of the room from Victor’s bed. Or maybe it was the right idea. Yuuri still wasn’t sure what he wanted: kissing or conversation.

Victor was standing at the foot of his bed and when Yuuri sat on the sofa he seated himself on the edge of the bed. Makkachin jumped up to join him and Victor reached to scratch his head absently, without taking his eyes off Yuuri.

“So, I was wondering something,” Yuuri began. Victor nodded eagerly and Yuuri noticed Makkachin was wearing almost the same expression as his owner. Now they were both staring at him. “The banquet...” Yuuri frowned. “Can you tell me exactly what happened again?”

Victor raised his eyebrows but said, “Sure. But can I ask why?”

Yuuri sighed and shrugged. “I’m just trying to understand things. I can’t believe I don’t remember it, if everything happened like you say.”

“You...don’t believe me?” Victor looked hurt.

“Oh, no! That’s not what I meant!” Yuuri furiously denied. “I don’t think you were lying or anything.”

“Oh wait!” said Victor. “I have pictures. I didn’t show you them yet!” He grabbed his phone from where he’d discarded it earlier and started tapping its screen.

“Pictures! You didn’t mention pictures!”

“Err, and video. I took one and Christophe did too. I had him send me the one he took.” Victor looked a bit embarrassed and it was so uncharacteristic that Yuuri stared at him.

Victor got up from the bed and moved to sit next to Yuuri on the sofa, holding his phone so Yuuri could see. Yuuri realized he was still focused on Victor’s face and he had to force himself to look away, down at the screen. And oh god, it was bad. He grabbed the phone and swiped through the pictures, groaning and wincing. He was obviously drunk, clothing askew, champagne in hand, and his face was horrible. He looked like an idiot, like the worst stereotypical drunk Japanese businessman. And this was Victor’s phone. Victor had taken these, had seen him like this. It was the worst possible thing.

Yuuri hunched down in shame while looking through the photos. He felt Victor’s hand come to rest on his shoulder. He flinched. Best get the worst over with quickly. “You said there was...video?”

Victor laughed softly. “Yeah.” He took the phone back and pulled up a video. Yuuri didn’t take the phone from him this time, just looked at it from the corner of his eyes. He was poised to cover his face with his hands, pretty sure he was going to die right on this sofa.

And yeah, he was pretty sure he was dying. The sound coming from the phone was tinny, a confusion of voices in several languages and loud music. And in the center of the screen was a metal pole, and two scantily clad men twining around it. Himself and Christophe Giacometti. Yuuri hardly even recognized himself as one of the muscular men putting on a show. He had a strange out-of-body feeling, as if some alien force had taken over his body and he was having to watch what it did with it. Yes, he’d taken some pole dancing classes, but he’d never used those skills outside of the class. And he’d never done it while almost naked, only wearing full workout clothes.

The video came to an end with Yuuri and Chris pressed on top of each other on the pole. Yuuri was feeling almost sick and when the video stopped he let himself collapse inward, groaning. He fell from the sofa onto the floor, curled up in a fetal position.

“Yuuri!” laughed Victor. “Yuuri, come on, you were incredible!” He reached for Yuuri’s hand, but Yuuri continued to rock back and forth. “Christophe started the pole dancing and then you just killed it and were amazing! Yuuuuri,” he drawled, trying to coax the other man off the floor. “Come on, everyone was having fun! We were all drunk by that point. And you were SO sexy.”

Yuuri had stopped groaning and rocking and stilled at that. Maybe it was worth it, he thought. If it got Victor Nikiforov to want to kiss him, maybe it was worth making a fool of himself in front of the entire skating world.

“Don’t you want to see the video of us dancing together?” asked Victor from above him, holding his phone out like a lure. Yuuri lowered his arms and peeked up at Victor from behind them. Victor was obviously amused, with laughter behind his eyes, but his face was more serious. When he saw Yuuri look at him he reached a hand down to him and twitched his head to urge Yuuri back to the couch. Yuuri’s heart sped up again, just seeing the look of invitation on Victor’s face. His imagination flashed to Victor lying in bed holding out a hand like that in Yuuri’s direction. He swallowed and grasped Victor’s hand, pulling himself back up.

“Ok, here goes,” said Victor as he cued up the second video. “I had to get Chris to send me this one.”

The scene was much less raucous than in the other video. The music was not as loud and though the sound of conversation was still loud, there was a lot less yelling and laughing. The camera panned across the dance floor of the banquet room, and there were several skaters dancing, both in pairs and singly. They were mostly being silly, with exaggerated moves. The camera stopped when it reached Victor’s slim grey-suited frame. He and Yuuri were dancing an exaggerated tango towards the rear of the dance floor. Yuuri’s clothing was askew, but his movements were controlled. Yuuri’s breath caught as he watched. He and Victor were moving together in seemingly perfect sync. They moved together as if choreographed. They were being overly dramatic, but in addition to silliness there was also heat between them. Yuuri gasped as he watched himself dip Victor over his knee, their bodies and limbs intertwined like lovers’.

The video ended and Yuuri had to remember to start breathing again. He looked at Victor to find the other man watching him intently. Victor eyes shimmered and Yuuri’s mouth fell open at wonder at the expression on his face.

“You see why I had to get a copy of that video,” Victor murmured. Yuuri nodded. Victor brought his hand to Yuuri’s face and ran his thumb across his bottom lip. As always, it send a jolt through Yuuri. “You see why I wanted to see you again so badly.” Yuuri nodded again.

“Yes,” he whispered against Victor’s thumb. And then Victor was kissing him, pressing against him hard. Their other kisses so far had begun tenderly, hesitantly, blooming into hot, frenzied things. But this one started out with a crash. As if months of desire and desperation was coming to head all at once. As if they hadn’t been making out on a beach mere hours before, but had been starved of each other ever since that dance. Oh, and Yuuri wished he remembered what it had been like to dance with Victor. Well, if he had been sober enough to remember it, he’d probably never have done it, and he wouldn’t have Victor’s tongue in his mouth right now.

As their bodies shifted against each other, Victor’s leg sliding between Yuuri’s, his hand tilting Yuuri’s head back to get a better angle, Yuuri realized Victor was moaning into his mouth. It was the most arousing sound he’d ever heard. He pressed himself forward, trying to get closer to Victor, closing his thighs around Victor’s leg, wishing the angle was better to get friction on his now-aching cock. In a few moments, he realized Victor was pressing forward as well and he decided to let the other man have his way. Yuuri relaxed backwards, falling against the arm of the sofa, Victor coming with him so he was half lying on top of Yuuri.

And now Yuuri could get that delicious friction. He’d never gone from embarrassed to aroused to on the brink of orgasm so quickly. He felt he might explode any moment and he couldn’t spare any embarrassment for the shameful way he was thrusting against Victor’s thigh. Their mouths broke apart and Victor lowered his mouth to Yuuri’s neck. Yuuri gasped for air as the other man bit and sucked down his throat. Victor ran a hand down Yuuri’s side before he cupped his ass, encouraging his upward thrusts. Yuuri moaned, wishing suddenly he could be naked so he could feel Victor’s hand against his bare ass.

Victor shifted and Yuuri could feel the other man’s erection pressing into Yuuri’s thigh. His mouth returned to Yuuri’s and his hand slid back upwards, but this time under Yuuri’s t-shirt.

“Ah!” cried Yuuri, the feeling of bare skin on his chest undoing him. Yuri suddenly needed there to be a lot less clothing between them and he pushed Victor back so he had room to pull off his own shirt. He had intended to attack Victor’s shirt next, but Victor was too fast, pushing Yuuri down and lowering his mouth to kiss into the center of Yuuri’s chest. Yuuri was still reaching for Victor’s shirt, but the other man grabbed his wrists and pressed them into the cushions at Yuuri’s sides while his mouth trailed in curving patterns across his chest.

“Victor,” he moaned, his back arching as Victor’s tongue traced lower. Yuuri was shuddering now, filled with such an intense need he couldn’t form clear thoughts. He just bucked up against Victor’s mouth, trying to get his cock back into contact with some part of the other man’s body.

Victor raised his head and met Yuuri’s pleading eyes, both of them breathing hard. “Bed,” said Victor, and Yuuri could only nod emphatically. The sofa had become far too cramped. They stood, Yuuri grabbing Victor’s arm for support when the sudden shift in position made him light-headed for a moment. Victor turned to him and took advantage of Yuuri’s momentary disorientation to slip his arms around his waist and lean down to kiss the shorter man. Yuuri seized the opportunity to slide his hands under Victor’s shirt and up his bare back. Victor moaned his pleasure into Yuuri’s mouth and when Yuuri tugged on the fabric, broke away and let him lift the shirt over his head.

Yuuri didn’t get a chance to admire his idol’s chest because he turned and pulled Yuuri towards the bed. When Victor’s legs hit the edge he fell backwards without hesitation. Yuuri remained standing rather than let Victor pull him over too. He stood at the foot of the bed looking down at Victor, who was lying there flushed, his hair tousled, pants tented. Yuuri drank in the sight, trying to etch it into his memory.

Victor smiled at him a bit shyly but then his expression shifted to a smirk as he stretched his arms above his head, arching his bare chest and displaying himself to full advantage. There was something incredible in the fact that the man in front of him knew how beautiful and desirable he was, Yuuri decided. Victor knew just how attractive he was, and he still wanted Yuuri. Victor looked up from under his fringe and gave Yuuri a blazing look.

“Come here,” he said, his voice low and seductive. It should have been ridiculous, but it made Yuuri’s desire flare and got him climbing onto the bed. He placed his knees on either side of Victor’s legs and stretched his body out to cover the other man’s. He stretched his own arms above his head to grasp Victor’s wrists, pressing his groin hard against him. Victor breath caught and Yuuri lowered his head to suck at Victor’s throat, tasting the sheen of sweat.

Some part of Yuuri’s mind was wondering how he was acting so confidently. He had Victor Nikiforov stretched underneath him, skin against skin, and he wasn’t a gibbering mess. But Yuuri didn’t have time for that particular voice. He was filled with too much need, too many desires, and he was living one of his own fantasies. He wasn’t going to screw this up.

He released Victor’s wrists and ran his hands down the other man’s sides. Victor squirmed under him at that, apparently a bit ticklish. Yuuri smiled against his skin. He sat up to look at Victor and the taller man took the opportunity to surge up and flip them over so Yuuri was beneath him. The breath was driven from Yuuri’s lungs for a minute. He couldn’t be upset, though, because Victor was kissing his way down Yuuri’s chest, steadily moving towards the waistband of his pants.

Yuuri panted, trying to get himself under control, wanting so badly for Victor to touch him, and also terrified. Victor grasped the elastic waist of the track pants in his hands, easing it down a couple of inches and running his tongue across the newly revealed skin. He paused then, looking up at Yuuri. He appeared concerned by whatever he saw because he let go of the waistband.

“You ok?” he asked. Yuuri nodded frantically. Victor searched his face. “We can stop, if you want.” Yuuri immediately shook his head. He was scared, he was always going to be scared of this, scared he was going to mess this up somehow. But he also knew what he wanted and he wanted it desperately.

“Please,” he said and reached down to take Victor’s hand in his own. He moved the hand to the edge of the waistband and pushed down. “Please,” he repeated. Victor’s eyes widened, going darker and then he was lowering his head again to kiss Yuuri’s belly as he pushed his pants and briefs down.

Yuuri lifted his hips and shimmied his legs free of the fabric. His cock was lifted by the waistband and flopped heavily back against his stomach, a drop of fluid falling just below his belly button. His cock was flushed red and Yuuri thought it looked thicker than usual. He wasn’t surprised, because he felt he’d never been so hard in his life. Victor had re-positioned himself on his knees between Yuuri’s thighs and he was looking down at Yuuri’s cock with his hands flat against Yuuri’s hips. Yuuri wished he would do something already, but he tried to breathe as shallowly as possible so as not to disturb things. He felt almost like Victor might startle and run away if he moved wrong.

Thankfully after only a few seconds Victor lowered his mouth and kissed the underside of Yuuri’s cock. Yuuri gave a strangled moan and couldn’t stop himself bucking his hips up a little. Victor chuckled softly and pressed down on his hips with his hands before running his tongue up the length of him, root to tip. Yuuri moaned again, biting his lip to keep from being louder. Victor licked up the sides of Yuuri’s cock a few more times before taking mercy on him and grasping him firmly at the base and taking the head into his mouth.

Yuuri had imagined this. He’d imagined just this, so many times. Not only someone’s mouth around his cock, but specifically Victor’s mouth. He had pictured it in great detail while he’d fisted his cock with a saliva-moistened hand. But oh the reality was entirely different. Victor’s mouth was so hot it burned, so wet that moisture ran in hot rivulets down his length. His tongue swirled against the underside of Yuuri’s cock while his lips embraced him.

Yuuri pressed his fist to his mouth to muffle his noises before he startled the whole building. He had to turn his head away and squeeze his eyes shut. If he kept looking at Victor with his mouth around his cock he was going to come immediately. And not only would that be embarrassing, but then this would be over. So he bit his hand and closed his eyes and tried not to buck too violently up into Victor’s mouth.

Victor was pumping up and down his cock now, a little deeper on each movement, the rhythm picking up. Yuuri let himself thrust a bit in time with Victor and was rewarded by a hum of approval. On one thrust he felt the head of his cock press against the back of Victor’s throat and he groaned and tried to hold back to keep from gagging the other man. Victor only increased the enthusiasm of his movements and Yuuri brought one hand up to grasp his hair. Soon he was thrusting up into Victor’s mouth without restraint and he knew this wasn’t going to last much longer.

He pulled on Victor’s hair a little, “Oh god, Victor, I’m going to...” but Victor hummed an encouraging sound and lowering himself further down on Yuuri’s cock. Yuuri felt the tip slide into Victor’s throat and that was it, he was spilling with an open-mouthed cry, thrusting helplessly up as Victor sucked strongly at him.

It felt like minutes before his hips relaxed down into the mattress and Victor sat back on his heels. Yuuri panted, wiping sweat from his face, his eyes refusing to focus on anything. He was aware of Victor getting off the bed and digging around for something and then the sound of him drinking from a bottle. Then Victor pressed a water bottle into his hand and Yuuri was deeply grateful, gulping at it and then handing it back. Victor came into focus then, sitting on the edge of the bed on Yuuri’s right. He had also found some tissues and handed a bunch of them to Yuuri, who cleaned himself up. He wasn’t willing to hand the dirty tissues back to Victor, so instead tried to casually set them on his other side when he was done.

Victor had moved to lie on the bed at Yuuri’s side, and when Yuuri rolled over to face him, he was pulled into Victor’s arms. He rested his head on Victor’s chest and sighed in contentment. It felt like an entirely new wonder that Victor was still here. Somehow Yuuri had felt like Victor was a mirage conjured up by Yuuri’s own lust, but even in the wake of his orgasm the other man was here, and solid, and holding him. Yuuri pressed a kiss to Victor’s chest gratefully and let his eyes drift shut. He pushed away everything but the orgasmic bliss of the afterglow, letting himself enjoy this feeling as if it was his only chance.

Victor’s hand stroked Yuuri’s back, leaving tingles in its wake. After a minute or so Yuuri shifted up to look at Victor. Victor smiled at him and Yuuri kissed him, taking his time to explore Victor’s mouth with his tongue. Victor moaned and pressed his body up against Yuuri’s. It was really only then that Yuuri realized Victor was still hard.

“Oh!” he broke away from Victor’s mouth in surprise. “I’m sorry! I forgot...” he blushed and trailed off. He brought his hand to press against the other man’s erection through his clothing instead of saying it out loud. Victor laughed, open-mouthed.

“It’s ok, _mil_ _i_ _y_. I’ll take it as a compliment.” He cupped the back of Yuuri’s head, carding his fingers through his hair. “You don’t have to do anything you don’t want,” he said softly.

Yuuri’s face heated again. He lowered his own voice. “I don’t know what I’m doing.” He traced along Victor’s length through his clothing, then grasping his erection more firmly. He was rewarded by a gasp of pleasure from the man beneath him. “But I want to please you.”

He was already sliding down Victor’s body when the other man responded, “You do, _mil_ _i_ _y_ , you do.” Yuuri filed away the Russian term to ask Victor about later. He pulled down on the other man’s pants, shoving them only down past his knees before he fell hungrily on his cock.

He was surprised by how full of desire he suddenly felt. He had honestly never given much consideration to the act of sucking cock, mostly thinking about having it done to him. But he suddenly wanted Victor’s cock in his mouth immediately.

He felt clumsy as he took in the head, grateful he’d managed not to graze the other man with his teeth. He pressed downwards immediately, enjoying the hissing noise Victor made at this. Yuuri discovered rather quickly that he needed a hand to grasp the base in order to have any control. He decided he really liked the flavor of Victor’s cock. The salty muskiness reminded him of a delicacy and he ran his tongue up the shaft to take more of it in. Victor’s hand grasped his hair and guided him, for which Yuuri was grateful. He knew he wasn’t doing as good a job of pleasuring his partner as Victor had, but he hoped his enthusiasm made up for it a little.

Victor certainly sounded like he was enjoying it. That was something else Yuuri had imagined while he’d masturbated: what Victor sounded like in bed. And now here he was sucking Victor Nikiforov’s cock while listening to the man moan. Yuuri felt a jolt of arousal shoot through him, his cock twitching, though it was far too soon for him to get hard again. Yuuri’s determination to make this good for Victor increased and he tried to take the other man all the way into his throat. He was ashamed when the touch of the cock on the back of his throat made him gag and pull off.

“Shh, it’s ok, that’s not necessary,” said Victor, stroking his hair. Yuuri glanced at him, seeing nothing but tenderness and desire in his eyes and lowered himself back to his task. Fine, he wouldn’t try that anymore, but he wanted to try everything else he could think of, so he did. He swirled his tongue around Victor, pressing the tip into the slit and flicking right across the glands. He stroked Victor hard with his hand while sucking just the head. (That got an enthusiastic response.) He tried several different angles and ways to use his tongue while he bobbed up and down.

After a while, Victor’s hand tightened in Yuuri’s hair, his grip urging him to pick up speed. Yuuri let Victor steer him and soon Victor was shallowly thrusting up to meet him as he pressed Yuuri’s head down. Yuuri found this deeply erotic. He pressed his lips tighter around the shaft and hollowed his cheeks, silently willing him to come. He wanted to feel the other man’s orgasm on his tongue, taste him.

“Yuuri, if you don’t want me to come in your mouth. . .” Victor gritted out suddenly. Yuuri answered by taking him deeper, almost into his throat again. In a couple more thrusts Victor cried out and Yuuri felt warmth hit the back of his mouth. He swallowed automatically and it was gone. He was a little disappointed not to taste anything much. Victor released his grip on his hair, but Yuuri continued to suck on his cock, feeling the pulse of it on his tongue. He loved the noise this caused Victor to make, but he pulled away, realizing he was probably feeling oversensitive.

He didn’t feel like moving just yet and let his head fall on Victor’s stomach. Victor’s hand returned to his hair and stroked him while they both panted. Yuuri almost felt he’d come again, as the sense of deep contentment he’d felt before returned. He hadn’t realized it would feel almost as good to give pleasure as to receive it.

“Want some water?” asked Victor after a time. Yuuri made an affirmative noise and Victor passed him the bottle after a short search. After they both had a drink and cleaned up, Victor pulled Yuuri back into his arms, his head pillowed on the taller man’s shoulder.

“Do you think anyone heard us?” asked Yuuri, belatedly self-conscious.

“Hmm, maybe,” replied Victor, not sounding at all concerned. Yuuri flushed.

“You think they know?”

“Know what? That you just sucked my cock?”

“Umm, yes?”

“Well, no, they probably don’t know that. They might think I fucked you. You were pretty loud.”

“Oh my god, Victor!” Yuuri was both horrified and laughing as he swatted at the other man. Victor just chuckled.

After a time Victor asked, he voice serious, “Does it really bother you? If they know?” Yuuri considered it, wanting to give Victor the truth.

“No, not really. I don’t care if they know. About us. I just...don’t want them making fun of me.”

Victor’s chest rumbled with soft laughter under Yuuri’s ear. “I’m not sure you’re ever going to escape that.” Yuuri sighed, acknowledging his point. Victor’s arms tightened around him.

A nagging voice surfaced among Yuuri’s floating shreds of thoughts.

“Is that why you came here? Sex?” As soon as the words were out of his mouth, he flinched. Dammit, he hadn’t meant to say that.

“What?” asked Victor, incredulous.

“Ugh, sorry, that’s not what I meant,” Yuuri’s face burned against Victor’s chest and he tried to pull away from him, but Victor tightened his arm where it was draped over Yuuri’s shoulder.

“Yuuri, what…?” Victor sounded frustrated, unable to finish his question.

“I’m sorry,” Yuuri said again. “I just meant...the banquet, the dance . . . I thought it was because of the skating video, but it wasn’t and...I’m sorry, nevermind.”

Victor gave a slow sigh. He relaxed his grip on Yuuri and started his right hand moving in slow stokes up and down Yuuri’s back. Yuuri’s body relaxed in spite of himself, arching slightly into the touches.

“Yuuri,” Victor said softly, “After the banquet, of course I wanted to see you again. I wanted it...very much. But I didn’t even consider flying halfway across the world just to see a hot guy who was a really great dance partner. I thought, eventually I’d get a chance to see you again and I’d ask you out or up to my room or whatever would work.” Yuuri gave a small squeak imagining that. What would he have done if Victor had approached him at an event and propositioned him. Lost consciousness, probably.

“But then I watched that video and I saw you skate my program. And,” here Victor paused and bent to place a kiss on Yuuri’s forehead, “and you skated it better than I ever did.”

Yuuri jerked away from him, sitting up. “No!”

Victor looked taken aback, and then he laughed. “Yes,” he said emphatically.

“Viiictorr,” whined Yuuri. He wished the other man wouldn’t tease him like this.

Victor sat up and took Yuuri’s chin in his hand, holding him still. “Yuuri, I could never get that program right. It felt _dead_ when I skated it. I know it got technical points and won, but it wasn’t _right._ You skated it with all the passion and feeling I could never get into it. And _that’s_ why I got onto a plane the next day.”

Yuuri felt tears threaten behind his eyes but he couldn’t break away from Victor’s gaze or the hand still holding his chin. So instead he pressed forward until his lips found Victor’s and they kissed, slowly and thoroughly. They fell back into the pillows and settled themselves in an embrace as they continued kissing. The tears never came, and after a while they broke apart and Yuuri laid his head back on Victor’s shoulder.

In time Yuuri felt himself drifting off to sleep. It was still fairly early, but they did have to get back to training tomorrow. He shifted in Victor’s arms and the other man made a noise of protest. “If I don’t go now, I’m going to fall asleep here,” he murmured.

“Stay,” said Victor. “Stay here tonight.” Something warm bloomed in Yuuri’s chest and he felt like crying out yes but instead he let his head fall back to Victor’s chest and held on to him tightly, as if he might fall if he didn’t.

“Need to get up at five,” Yuuri mumbled into Victor’s shoulder.

“I’ve got an alarm set.”

“Oh good.” Yuuri was already drifting, feeling possibly more relaxed than he ever had before. Victor’s hand lightly stroked down his arm. Yuuri sighed his contentment and then let himself fall into sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> miliy = darling/dear
> 
> Ok guys, Victor and I had the BEST intentions of taking things slowly. We did, honest. Yuuri is less cooperative. So, PORN!
> 
> This is increasingly the story where these two try to have serious conversations but just can't keep their hands and mouths off each other long enough. Oh, well.
> 
> I hope you enjoyed the smut. Feedback is love. 
> 
> Come listen to me complain about the struggle of keeping these boys off each other on [Tumblr.](https://kimthreerings.tumblr.com/)


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The morning after...and the afternoon after the morning after.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to phlintandsteel for inspiring a bit in one of the conversations in this chapter with their comment on Chapter 2.

Victor awoke to the sound of his alarm getting louder and louder. A tinny rendition of the music from one of his old programs filled the room. Something about hearing music he’d skated to so many times always woke him up, his body responding almost automatically in preparation for physical exertion. 

But this morning was different from countless other mornings because there was a warm body pressed against him. This was a fairly rare occurrence for Victor, and it only took him a couple seconds to fully realize _whose_ body it was. His heart surged and a huge grin spread across his face. 

Yuuri was in his bed, in his arms. He’d made love to Yuuri Katsuki last night. He squeezed his arms more tightly around the figure of his lover, who was curled up facing away from Victor. He was rewarded with an annoyed groan.

“Will you turn off that noise?” complained Yuuri. For some reason this made Victor smile even wider. He didn’t move. Yuuri huffed, turning partly towards Victor. “Seriously, you’re going to wake up the guests.” 

“Oh, right, ok,” said Victor, chastised. He reluctantly unwound his arms from around Yuuri and flipped over to search for his phone on the nightstand. It wasn’t there. He searched the floor with his eyes then leaned over to peer under the edge of the bed in case it had been kicked there. “Is it in the bed?” he wondered aloud, starting to feel along the duvet.

“Ugh,” groaned Yuuri, forcing himself out of bed. He stomped heavily across the room over to the sofa, bending over to pick up the phone from the floor and poking at it blindly until it shut off. He stomped back to the bed and flopped into it, tossing the phone at Victor.

“Right, I forgot we left it over there,” said Victor, to another groan from his left. He wasn’t too sorry, though, because he’d gotten to watch Yuuri walk across the room and bend over naked. He grinned again to think he no longer had to look away out of politeness. He could stare at Yuuri all he wanted. 

The object of his attention, however, had curled back up on his side and seemed to be slipping back into sleep. Victor curled around him, moving sheets out of the way so he could press his body directly against Yuuri’s skin. “Yuuuri,” he called softly, his lips brushing the other man’s hair. 

Yuuri gave a brief exhalation that sounded annoyed, but he pressed back against Victor. This had a definite effect on Victor’s growing erection and he pressed into Yuuri’s ass to let him know. He was rewarded with a small gasp. 

“Victorrr,” whined Yuuri. 

“What?” asked Victor innocently. 

“Mmm,” was all the answer Yuuri gave him, but he pressed back against him. Victor hadn’t intended to initiate anything sexual again so soon, but his body had other ideas and it was swiftly taking control. 

Victor gave in and reached his hand around Yuuri’s hip to seek the other man’s cock. He was thrilled to find it was as hard as his own and he circled it firmly with his hand, winning a _delicious_ moan from his partner. Victor let go momentarily to lick his hand for moisture before returning it to Yuuri’s cock. He started pumping him in time with his own thrusts against Yuuri’s thighs and ass. He wondered if this was too much, too close to something _more_ , but Yuuri was breathless and moaning and pressing hard back against him, so he let his worries go.

His cock slid across Yuuri’s skin, pressing into the underside of his muscular ass. The friction was eased only by the moisture of his own pre-cum, which was increasing all the time. He shifted the angle of his movements slightly to make sure he didn’t press between Yuuri’s cheeks. He felt that was a step too far to take this soon, without any discussion. He instead was pressing against and slightly between Yuuri’s muscular thighs, which he didn’t feel was any kind of hardship.

“Victor,” Yuuri moaned, his hips picking up speed in the movements. Victor thrilled at that, the sound of his name falling from Yuuri’s lips in a moan. He loved all the noises his lover was making, the tiny gasps and exhalations. He was close enough to hear every one. He moved his thumb to brush across the head of Yuuri’s cock as he pumped, winning a grunt of pleasure. 

Before much longer, Yuuri’s movements became frantic and jerky and he spilled over Victor’s fingers with a stifled cry. Victor held him through his spasms of pleasure, realizing Yuuri had bitten into his pillow to control his noises. Victor himself felt close to the edge, but suddenly wasn’t sure what to do about that. It felt like bad etiquette to continue thrusting between the other man’s thighs after he’d already come. He held himself as still as possible, but his hips still moved slightly to relieve the ache in his cock. 

Yuuri’s body relaxed as the last of the aftershocks passed and he made a contented sound. He pressed back against Victor again once before pulling away. Victor couldn’t stop himself from making a protesting noise, but Yuuri had already turned over and was pressing Victor onto his back. Yuuri slid down the bed to lie across Victor’s left leg and swiftly swallowed his cock into his mouth.

Victor made a noise that was probably too loud, but he hadn’t been prepared for that. Yuuri was pulling hard at his cock with his mouth, humming hungrily around it. It was amazing. And Victor, who had already been close, didn’t last very long at all before he was pulsing in orgasm. Yuuri was taken by surprise, and Victor cursed his thoughtlessness even as he bucked up into his mouth. 

But Yuuri didn’t seem to mind as he sucked hard at Victor, gathering the cum that escaped his mouth back in with his tongue. He lapped every drop from Victor’s throbbing cock and it was the filthiest and most beautiful thing Victor had ever seen. 

Finally Yuuri released Victor with a pop of suction and Victor let his head relax back and his eyes close. 

“You’re going to kill me,” he said once he felt his mouth could form words again. 

“Me?” asked Yuuri from where he sat looking down at him. 

“Mmm-hmm. I can never predict what’s going to happen next with you.”

“You like surprises,” said Yuuri in a knowing tone. Victor groaned his agreement. Yuuri seemed to be fully awake and energetic now. Considering how difficult it was sometimes to get him to move in the mornings, Victor wondered if this could be a new routine, part of their training maybe. Yuuri had moved to the side of the bed and found tissues, cleaning himself up before handing some to Victor, who had to clean his hand, stomach and crotch. 

Yuuri was moving around the room, gathering up his scattered clothing. Victor let himself enjoy the view, feeling sad when he found his boxer briefs and pulled them into place. Yuuri turned to look at Victor with his arms full of clothing. 

“Going to get up today?” he asked with a smirk. 

“That depends,” he replied. “If I stay in bed do I get another blow job?” Despite his teasing attitude of a moment before, that provoked a blush from Yuuri. He looked away from Victor and then smiled, meeting his eyes again.

“That depends. If I blow you, do I get out of my morning run?” Victor threw back his head and laughed, and Yuuri joined in more quietly. Victor forced himself out of bed and stalked over to his student. He stepped into the other man’s personal space and grasped his chin to keep him from looking away.

“No. You still have to run, and skate, and do your strength training. But,” he added, his voice going low with promise, “if you’re very, very dedicated today, I _might_ let you do anything you want to me tonight.”

Yuuri’s eyes dilated behind the frames of his glasses. Victor smiled down at him and got a smile in response. He placed a tender, closed-mouth kiss on Yuuri’s lips before stepping back. Anything more was likely to get them both in trouble again, and he did have a responsibility to Yuuri’s training. Yuuri smiled at him for several moments before turning quickly to leave. He peeked out the sliding door to make sure the coast was clear before moving swiftly down the hall to his own room. 

Victor sighed and looked at the devastation of his room, enjoying the memory of how things had gotten so rumpled. He felt incredibly happy, like he couldn’t stop smiling. He mounted a brief search for his robe so he could make it down the hall to the bathroom to start his day.

~~~~

Victor and Yuuri were a little later than usual getting to the rink that morning. Yuuri still hadn’t made a decision about his free skate music, so he asked Victor to teach him quads. That was a drain on them both, since Victor only really knew how to teach by demonstration. And as usual Yuuri trounced him in the stamina department. When they were done on the ice, Victor was draped across the boards, sweat pouring off him. Yuuri shot him a smirk as he headed for the locker room. 

After the day of challenging jumps and falls (on Yuuri’s part), Victor didn’t follow through on his threat from the morning to make Yuuri do strength training on top of their ice time. It definitely was out of concern for his student’s health and not because he really wanted to get in the hot spring as soon as possible. 

They walked back from the Ice Castle together, both moving more slowly than usual, whether out of fatigue or pleasure at having time alone. Victor’s thoughts turned serious as they went.

“Is everything...ok?” he finally broke the silence to ask. Yuuri looked up at him, confusion written on his face. “I mean, after last night...and this morning,” Victor felt himself blush. 

Yuuri smiled. “Yes?”

Victor shrugged and reached for the right words. “It’s just yesterday we decided to take it slow, and then a few hours later...we did not take things slow.” Yuuri smiled even wider at him and Victor wondered how the man could look even more beautiful than he already did. Yuuri didn’t move to say anything, so Victor pressed. “I just worry...I don’t want you to feel pressured, or regret anything.”

“Victor,” said Yuuri, as if Victor were being ridiculous. “I’m fine. Really.” They’d stopped walking and were facing each other on the sidewalk. Yuuri reached to touch Victor’s cheek lightly. “If I wasn’t ok with something I’d have stopped, or said something.”

“Promise?”

“Promise.” Their eyes locked. Victor badly wanted to kiss him, but stopped himself. There were plenty of people within view and he knew this was still too new for public display. Instead he reached for Yuuri’s hand and threaded his fingers between Yuuri’s. They turned to continue walking, not letting go.

After a short while Yuuri spoke up again, “Really, Victor, I’m...” He bit his lip and Victor squeezed his hand, giving him time to choose his words. “I’m not as _innocent_ as you seem to think.” Victor raised his eyebrows at him. “Really. I mean, no, I don’t have _experience_ but I...know things.”

“Things,” Victor repeated. 

“I have the internet!” Yuuri was flushed now and refused to meet Victor’s eyes. He made a slight movement to reclaim his hand, but Victor wouldn’t let go, capturing the other man’s hand more firmly. 

Victor thought furiously as they continued down the street. He felt uncharacteristically terrified of saying the wrong thing. Part of him wanted to make a joke about Yuuri putting his internet research to use last night, but he held back, not wanting Yuuri to think he was making fun of him. And part of him wanted to make a suggestive comment about Yuuri telling him the kind of things he liked to look at on the internet. But mostly he didn’t want to do anything to drive Yuuri away from him, back into hiding again. 

Thankfully Yuuri seemed to have a better idea what to say next. He stopped, pulling Victor to a halt and around to face him by their connected hands. He looked serious, eyes warm as they met Victor’s slightly panicked ones.

“Victor, I appreciate you trying to look out for me. I really do. I know I’m not experienced, and I’m...mentally weak, but that doesn’t mean I don’t know what I want.”

Victor frowned. “What do you mean you’re mentally weak? That’s ridiculous.”

Yuuri smiled sadly. “Thanks, but you don’t have to say that.”

“I’m _not_ saying that. Or I’m not _just_ saying that. Yuuri, you’re not weak.”

“You’ve seen it, Victor,” Yuuri said, and he sounded a little angry. “You’ve seen how I fall apart. And in competition...” Yuuri looked like he might cry. Victor took a step closer to him. He brought a hand to Yuuri’s cheek and forced the other man to meet his eyes. 

“Yuuri. I’ve seen you skate. I’ve seen you fall a thousand times and get back up and fight harder. There’s nothing about you that’s weak.” Yuuri’s eyes shimmered, tears threatening. 

Victor looked down for a moment, thinking, before looking back at him. “I’m sorry if the way I was treating you made you feel weak. That wasn’t why I was worried. I...I told you I’m not any good at relationships. That’s an understatement. I’m terrible at relationships, Yuuri. I have no idea how to be in one. The truth is that until now I’ve never cared about anyone enough to figure out how to make one work. That probably makes me a terrible person.” 

Victor’s throat felt tight and he had to look away from Yuuri to finish. “But I want so badly not to screw this up. I’m terrified of it.” He looked at Yuuri’s face again, feeling tears prickle behind his eyes. That would be perfect, if he were to start crying now. 

Yuuri stared at him, his expression indecipherable. And then he looked away and giggled. Victor’s mouth fell open. Giggled. Yuuri glanced at him, and at his expression his giggles became louder. He covered his mouth with his hand and hunched over as if trying to hide his reaction. 

Victor stood there at a loss. He’d poured his soul out, his deepest fears, and the man he was in love with was laughing at him. And every time Yuuri looked at him, his laughter got more uncontrollable. Victor was getting annoyed now. He threw his hands up in exasperation.

“WHAT?” he asked finally. Yuuri sobered, seeing that he was getting truly upset now. 

“I’m sorry, Victor, I’m sorry.” Yuuri moved to grab his hand, but Victor jerked it out of his grasp. “I’m sorry,” he repeated. “I wasn’t laughing at you, I promise.”

“You were! You absolutely were!”

“No! Not at you.” Yuuri moved into Victor’s personal space, and Victor let him, sensing maybe he’d at least get a kiss out of this mess. “It’s the situation. I...I still can barely believe you’re even here, coaching me. And now somehow we’re kissing and...everything and you’re telling me _you_ feel insecure about it?” Yuuri leaned into him and touched Victor’s chest. “To me, that sounds crazy. It sounds like I have to be hallucinating this whole thing. It’s hard enough to believe that you, you, with all your...you-ness,” he made a vague circular gesture encompassing Victor’s face and upper torso, “that you want me.”

Victor captured Yuuri’s gesticulating hand and pressed it to his lips. “I do, Yuuri. I want so much, with you.” Yuuri smiled and they stayed frozen like that for several long moments, eyes locked. It felt as if communication was happening between them on a level beyond conscious thought or speech. Victor willed Yuuri to feel how much he felt for him. All the things he couldn’t yet put into words. 

Finally he bent his head and touched his forehead to the shorter man’s. He stroked his fingers lightly along Yuuri’s cheek and jaw. “I promise not to treat you like you’re fragile if you promise not to treat me like I’m better than you.” Yuuri gasped softly, closing his eyes. “Because I’m _not_ Yuuri.” Victor throat felt thick again, so he tilted Yuuri’s chin up and kissed him softly on the lips instead of speaking. 

They were pressed into the shadows next to one of the buildings along the road and they lingered there, any curious eyes long forgotten. Their kisses were slow, tongues twining and tasting. The driving intensity that had characterized so many of their intimate moments in the last few days was absent. This embrace was less about the frenzy of bodies and more about the expression of the emotions neither of them was entirely comfortable putting into words yet. 

After several minutes, they broke apart and Yuuri stepped back. Victor still felt shaken, but the sight of Yuuri’s smile made him smile in return. Yuuri held out his hand and Victor took it, letting the other lead him on their way again.

~~~~

Back at the inn, Victor got his soak in the onsen. He thought about how much harder skating felt these days, how much Yuuri outpaced him in terms of stamina. He often felt old around other skaters. It’d been a long time since he hadn’t been the oldest in any group of competitors. But more and more he was starting to feel physically old, to feel the accumulated damage in his joints. He felt like he’d been waiting for the other shoe to drop for years, for the final injury to take him out of competition. 

“Are you ok?” Yuuri’s voice broke into Victor’s reverie. He looked up at his lover, on the other side of the spring. Victor felt a surge of emotion at the sight. Yuuri was partially obscured by steam, his damp hair slicked back and without his glasses. He was gorgeous, and the concern written on his face touched Victor deeply. He reminded himself that he had something besides skating now. Or maybe he did. Maybe he _could._ It would be something if the thing to take him from competition wasn’t a horrible injury. Wasn’t pain, but love. He felt a grin slip onto his face at the thought.

“Victor?” 

Victor slid through the water until he was nearly touching Yuuri. He smiled at him, just enjoying the feeling in his chest, enjoying looking his fill. After a moment’s more confusion, Yuuri tentatively smiled back at him, a question still in his eyes. 

“What’s up? You looked...sad?” 

Victor allowed himself a couple more seconds of silent smiling before taking a more sober tone. “I was just thinking. About life.” Yuuri cocked his head a bit. “No, not life. My career,” Victor corrected himself. 

“And you miss it?” Yuuri asked, quietly. 

“My career?” asked Victor incredulously. “ _No._ Not at all.”

Yuuri looked skeptical. “Really? You don’t miss skating?”

“I skate!” Victor shrugged. “I like being on the ice, I like creating programs. I like coaching you.” At this last he met Yuuri’s eyes to make sure he understood the emphasis on ‘you.’ “But Yuuri, I wasn’t happy.”

“With your skating?” Yuuri still sounded like he didn’t believe him.

“With...everything,” Victor admitted. “Yes, with skating. With my career. With...everything.”

“How,” Yuuri spoke and it was very quiet again. “How could you not be happy with your career?” Victor winced. “You...you did everything. Won everything.” Yuuri was starting to look genuinely distressed. 

Victor sighed. He knew how it sounded. Especially how it would sound to a competitor. He shouldn’t have said anything. He tried to conjure up that feeling of happiness he’d had only minutes before. 

“Victor?” Yuuri asked more loudly when he didn’t respond.

“It’s not about winning, Yuuri,” he finally responded.

“That’s easy to say when you always win.”

“I know. I know how this sounds.” Victor shook his head, angry with himself. He reached out and grabbed both of Yuuri’s hands in his own. He met his eyes, willing him to understand. “Winning was easy. And I know that’s a problem lots of people would like to have, and I know it’s...ungrateful. But...I didn’t have...I didn’t have a reason to want to win. It didn’t _mean_ anything anymore.”

Victor took a breath. “All I ever wanted was to surprise people, and to create things that would make people feel. And I could land every jump, skate to anything, and no one was surprised by it. And I couldn’t make _myself_ feel anything anymore.” 

Victor brought Yuuri’s hands up to his lips and placed a kiss on his entwined fingers. “Since I’ve been here, I...” Victor suddenly couldn’t speak. Yuuri’s mouth had fallen open and his eyes were deep pools of mahogany. Victor felt dizzy from falling into them. All his words got trapped behind the lump in his throat and he couldn’t find a way to say them. 

Yuuri slid his right hand out of Victor’s grasp and ran it down Victor’s face. Victor closed his eyes and leaned into the caress. He took a shuddering breath and then let himself lean forward into Yuuri’s body. He kept his eyes closed as he found the other man’s shoulder and relaxed his head down to rest there. Yuuri stroked his hair. Victor took several more shuddering breaths. He pressed his lips to Yuuri’s neck, which conveniently only require him to move a few centimeters. 

It was several minutes before Victor pulled back. That deep happiness in his chest was back, and he wanted to just stay there, being held and stroked by Yuuri, both of them enveloped by the steam, the rest of the world far away. Finally he made himself straighten. 

Yuuri stopped him from moving too far away with a hand on his shoulder. He brought his hand to Victor’s face again, before slowing leaning in and placing a kiss on his lips. Victor kissed him back with enthusiasm but little heat. After 2 or 3 seconds Yuuri pulled back.

“You’re happier here?” he asked, softly.

“Yeah,” said Victor, equally quietly. Yuuri smiled.

“Good.” They smiled at each other for a while before finally Yuuri turned to get out of the spring. “We should let someone else have a turn.” 

“Yeah, of course.”

As they headed upstairs after toweling off, Yuuri spoke again. “I have some stuff I need to do on the computer. I want to email that girl about the music she composed for me.”

Victor brightened. “Oh, good! We need to get working on your free as soon as possible.”

“Yeah, I know. I’m sorry.” Yuuri shot him a look over his shoulder. “I’ve been a little distracted the last few days and never got around to it. For _some reason._ ”

Victor laughed loudly. Probably more loudly than was really called for, but he didn’t care. Yuuri smirked at him before heading through the door to the family quarters. 

Victor headed into his own room with a smile on his face. As he dressed he contemplated the fact that in the last few months he’d gone from feeling numb to feeling a million different emotions in a day. He smiled at that, too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally this was a very light-hearted, flirty chapter. And then I rewrote it twice, and it kept growing more feelings. For some reason writing Victor POV is the more challenging for me, but I'm always happiest with those sections when I'm done.
> 
> Chapter 5 picks off immediately after this one, because I seem completely unable to progress time at all...


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuuri reflects. Yuuri and Victor discuss fantasies.

Yuuri stared at his monitor. He’d opened his email and started a new message to send to the girl who’d composed the music for him before. But now he found himself staring at the blank screen, while his mind buzzed through everything that had happened in the past few days. 

Flashes of images and sensations crowded forward for his attention. Victor’s smile, Victor’s lips, Victor’s voice. The pained look on Victor’s face earlier in the onsen when he’d stared into empty space. The sound of Victor’s voice as it broke on the words “It didn’t mean anything anymore.” 

Everything felt too big for Yuuri. Victor was too big for him. How could he, he Katsuki Yuuri, be enough for someone like Victor? Yuuri had gotten a glimpse this afternoon beneath the surface of Victor. He felt like he’d only barely glimpsed the depths of the other man’s heart; he wondered how much Victor was still hiding, still holding back. 

He’d always known there was more to Victor. More than the photoshoots and magazine profiles ever showed. He’d known Victor was much more than the playboy athlete with his face on billboards. Yuuri had known that from his skating, from his programs. He’d known the man was an artist. But he’d always assumed Victor was happy. 

How could he not be? How could the man who had been living in his parent’s banquet room for the last two months, who set up photoshoots of his dog enjoying the comforts of the onsen, the man with the most infectious laugh Yuuri had ever heard, how could that man be unhappy? 

But Victor had said he was happier since coming here, Yuuri reminded himself. Could that mean? Again, it was too big. Yuuri couldn’t let himself think that he might be the reason. Yuuri desperately wanted to do anything he could to make Victor happy, to fill whatever void he might feel. But Yuuri also knew he couldn’t possibly be enough. How could he possibly be good enough to do that for Victor? Even if he skated his very best, if he won the gold medal at the Grand Prix Final like Victor seemed to think he could, that couldn’t replace Victor’s own career. Never. 

Oh, but Yuuri wanted so much to be worthy of Victor’s regard. The way Victor looked at him it made him almost feel he was. The way Victor touched him. Yuuri closed his eyes and let himself remember. He replayed those moments and let himself feel. When Victor was touching him he couldn’t help but feel special. 

Yuuri’s heart was pounding just remembering how Victor made him feel. It felt so dangerous to let go, to give in to those feelings. He was afraid there was going to be a debt to repay somewhere off in his future for indulging in this. It couldn’t last. Victor was here, now, and he wanted Yuuri. He was happy here, with Yuuri, for now. It was too painful to imagine when that might change, or when it might end. Yuuri could feel his breath coming faster just considering what that would be like. No, he could only make the best use of the time he had. There was no way he could push Victor away, even if it might be kinder to both of them in the long run. 

Yuuri opened his eyes and focused back on the blinking cursor on his screen. He knew what he wanted his free program to say. The piece as written before had been about Yuuri’s career, and it had been lackluster. Now he wanted it to be about his career, about his newly reinvigorated career, about the effect that Victor was having on his skating. But he also wanted it to be about what he felt for Victor. How he’d always loved the other man, from afar, as an object. But now Victor was in his life, and the reality was so much more powerful and messier and more wonderful than he could have imagined. And this may all be temporary, fleeting, but it was beautiful and he wanted to capture that and remember it.

So Yuuri started typing, trying to find some way of conveying that in words so that someone on the other side of the globe could put it into music. So that Victor could turn it into a program. A program that Yuuri could skate for him, to show him his love. 

~~~~~

Yuuri wasn’t sure how much time had passed when there was a knock at his door.

“Hmm?” he called out, typing the last few words of his email.

“It’s me,” said Victor through the door. 

“Oh, one sec,” said Yuuri as he hurried to fire off his (rather lengthy) email to the composer. “Come in.”

Victor opened the door and moved to stand inside the doorway, looking curiously at Yuuri. “Still on the computer?”

“Yeah, just finishing.”

“Finishing? Not hurriedly shutting your porn sites so I don’t see what you’re into?”

Yuuri jerked back from the computer unconsciously. “What??” Victor grinned and crossed his arms in front of his chest as he leaned back against the door frame. 

“Just remembering what you said about how much you’ve learned from the internet.” Yuuri spluttered but before he could come up with a retort Victor leaned down until he was only a foot or so from Yuuri’s face. “I didn’t realize,” he said in a low purr, “you could learn how to suck cock from the internet.” 

Victor’s eyes danced. Yuuri gasped and jumped out of his chair. “Victor!” he hissed, peering around the other man into the hallway, expecting to see his entire family conveniently standing there to overhear him. The fact that the hall was deserted only assuaged his concern slightly. He pushed Victor out of the way and shut his door. “Victor!” he repeated. 

The other man had moved further into the room with Yuuri’s shove and had collapsed onto Yuuri’s bed. He was openly laughing at Yuuri’s indignation now. Yuuri could only look at him for a couple of second before his mouth twisted up at the corners as well. His face burned from Victor’s teasing but it felt good, too. He loved Victor’s laugh.

He struggled to get control of his face and put on an exaggerated pout. “You shouldn’t make fun of me.”

“Oh,” said Victor, mimicking Yuuri’s frown. “But you’re adorable when you’re annoyed with me.” 

That surprised a laugh out of Yuuri. “Oh, that explains it, then.” Victor dropped his mocking expression for one of confusion. Yuuri smiled at him slyly. “You think I’m cute when I’m annoyed. And when I’m around you I’m _so often annoyed.”_ Yuuri sat back in his computer chair across from Victor with that. 

He was smirking, enjoying Victor’s shocked expression. There was a split second where he worried he’d gone too far and Victor was taking him seriously. Then Victor threw his hand over his heart and turned his head to the side as if mortally wounded, and Yuuri knew everything was ok. Yuuri laughed out loud when Victor fell backwards onto the bed, groaning in pain.

“So cruel!” cried Victor. “Why are you so mean to me?” He turned to Yuuri and reached a hand out to him dramatically, as if he were on the ice giving a passionate performance. “All I want to do is adore you and you just break my heart!” Yuuri snickered. 

He leaned forward to take Victor’s hand where it still stretched toward him. Victor’s eyes widened before he jerked on Yuuri’s hand, pulling him out of the chair and onto his knees on the floor. Yuuri came very close to smacking his head on the frame of the bed, but Victor managed to get his hand in front of his forehead to catch him.

“Ah, Victor, watch it!” he complained and he steadied himself. 

“Sorry, sorry,” said Victor as he sat up, both his hands holding onto Yuuri’s shoulders. “I didn’t think that through.”

Yuuri gave a dry laugh. “You? Not think something through?” He looked up at Victor with a raised eyebrow. He was delighted to see Victor’s cheeks flush as he shrugged slightly. Yuuri got lost a little looking at Victor’s face. The late afternoon light coming through the window behind Victor gave him a warm glow that made his hair look almost golden instead of cooler silver. Combined with the sheepish look and the blush Victor looked much younger than he usually did. Yuuri couldn’t believe how beautiful he was. So much more beautiful like this than he had ever been styled for a magazine or TV. He realized he was sitting on his heels, smiling and staring at him like an idiot, but he couldn’t bring himself to care. He was too stunned by the fact that he was allowed to do this.

Victor looked like he was going to speak, but instead he raised a hand to brush back a piece of hair from Yuuri’s forehead. His hand continued a caress down the side of Yuuri’s face before brushing a thumb across his lips. Yuuri wondered why Victor kept doing that. He seemed to have a fascination with Yuuri’s lips. 

“You’re so beautiful, my dear,” said Victor lowly. Yuuri colored at the praise, so much an echo of his own thoughts, but so much less accurate. He looked down, feeling uncomfortable with Victor’s gaze suddenly. 

“Come here,” said Victor, pulling at Yuuri’s shoulder. Yuuri looked up to see the other man shifting position on the bed to lie against the wall. He patted the bed next to him. Yuuri’s breath caught, seeing Victor lying in his own narrow bed. Oh, if only Yuuri’s teenage self could see this. 

Yuuri scrambled up onto the bed and stretched out next to Victor. Victor gathered him in close and guided him to rest his head on Victor’s shoulder. Yuuri relaxed into the position, enjoying the feel of arms coming around him and the sound of Victor’s breathing under his head.

They lay like that quietly, Victor stroking a hand up and down Yuuri’s back. So much of the last few days had been tumultuous, mostly in very good ways, but it was nice to enjoy this moment of peace together. Yuuri turned his face more into Victor’s neck and breathed in his smell, something earthen with a slight hint of sweat and a citrus note that came from some product the other man used. Yuuri made a contented noise into his neck. Victor reacted with a squeeze of his arms.

“You still have to tell me about your porn habits,” Victor said in a conversational tone.

“Victor!” Yuuri protested, giggling despite himself.

“What? You’re the one who claimed to be an expert.”

Yuuri made a frustrated noise and tried to bury his face deeper into Victor shoulder. 

“Hmm?” continued Victor. “How am I supposed to know what you’ll like if I don’t know your tastes?”

Yuuri groaned again, uncovering his face long enough to say, “You’re impossible.”

“Yes,” agreed Victor happily. They lay together for another minute or so before Victor spoke again. “So, this would be the bed you laid in while you looked at posters of me on the wall?”

Yuuri groaned. He gritted his teeth. “Yes.”

“Mmm. So you would lay here, and look at pictures of me on your walls, and...touch yourself?” Victor’s voice wasn’t teasing now, but low and insinuating. Yuuri’s face burned and his eyes were squeezed shut but the sound of Victor’s voice was affecting him. He nodded jerkily. 

“Will you tell me what you imagined?” Victor spoke directly into Yuuri’s ear and the sound seemed to vibrate through his whole body. “What did you imagine me doing to you?” Yuuri whimpered at that. He felt pinned in place by Victor’s voice, squirming in his embarrassment but powerless to resist the effect Victor had on him. 

He opened his eyes and turned towards Victor. He searched the other man’s face, trying to think of something to offer. “I...I don’t know.”

“You have to _know,_ “ Victor said with pointed look. 

“I...damn...lots of things...stupid things...” 

Victor was rubbing small circles on Yuuri’s hip. “I want to know, Yuuri.” Yuuri’s mouth open and shut a few more times.

“I don’t know. Sometimes it wasn’t even sexual, just skating. Like you’d see me skate and think it was good.”

“I do,” said Victor emphatically. “I _did_.” 

Yuuri smiled. “I know.” he took a breath. “And maybe after that you’d offer to...train with me or show me something and we’d be alone in a rink together, and...”  
“And?” encouraged Victor. 

“Victor I don’t think I can do this,” said Yuuri in a rush. He shook his head.

“Shh,” said Victor, grasping his hip more firmly. “You can do lots of things. I’ve seen you.” He pulled Yuuri closer and covered his eyes with his hand. “Close your eyes.” Yuuri obeyed and tried to relax against him. “It doesn’t even have to be about me. Just tell me something you’ve fantasized about.” His voice was low and Yuuri felt it rumble through Victor’s chest beneath him. Yuuri took several breaths and focused on Victor’s scent, the sound of his breathing, the warmth of his arms around him.

“I...I used to imagine you…you going down in front of me on your knees.” He heard Victor’s breath catch next to him. Victor’s right hand was resting on Yuuri’s stomach now and it started tracing soothing circles again. 

“You’d be helping me with my skates maybe, or wrapping my ankle or something. And you’d...look at me, and start touching my legs, working your way up.” Yuuri tried to picture it as he would have years ago. He pictured Victor with long hair, dressed in one of his costumes maybe. The cocky look the other boy would be wearing. 

He licked his lips and continued. “I’d be hard by then and you’d see, and you’d offer...offer to help me with it.” Yuuri paused again, his breath coming faster. Victor shifted next to him, sliding down. Then Yuuri felt his hand touch the top of his thigh right below his hip and he jerked. Victor’s hand started massaging.

“Keep going,” Victor whispered, his hand stretching lower. Yuuri swallowed, feeling himself getting almost as hard as his teenage self in his fantasy. “What next?” Victor prompted. 

“Umm. I...I’d be embarrassed, but you would tell me...tell me it was normal to get turned on watching other boys skate. And you’d touch me, through my leggings.” Victor’s hand moved then, palming Yuuri’s swelling cock through his knit pants. Yuuri gave a strangled whimper at the feeling, his eyes flying open. He listened to Victor’s breathing behind him for a moment before closing his eyes again. “You’d do that and then reach inside and touch me.” He jerked as Victor followed the instructions. His hand was hot on Yuuri’s cock and Yuuri arched into his touch. Victor touched him slowly, tracing his length with his fingers up and down before gripping with his whole hand. He started a very slow rhythm of movement. Yuuri’s hips rocked with the motion.

“Is that all, Yuuri? You imagined more than this, didn’t you?” murmured Victor. 

“Mmm-hmm,” agreed Yuuri. “You’d pull down my pants and suck my cock. Still on your knees.” Victor groaned from behind him, but it didn’t sound like a complaint. Yuuri smiled. The other man released his dick and slid out from under Yuuri’s head before climbing over Yuuri and onto the floor. 

Yuuri sat up and shimmied out of his pants and briefs. He turned to sit on the edge of the bed, placing one knee on each side of Victor, who was kneeling obediently. Victor looked up at him, smiling. Yuuri smiled back, his shyness forgotten. Victor gripped each of Yuuri’s thighs just above the knee and bent to place a kiss on his right thigh. Yuuri bit his bottom lip. Victor looked back up at him before grasping his cock in his hand. He maintained eye contact as he lowered his mouth and took just the head of Yuuri’s cock into it. Yuuri gripped the sheets hard to help hold himself upright at the sight. 

Victor released him to ask, “Like this?” Yuuri groaned. Before he realized what he was doing he had his hand buried in Victor’s hair and was pressing the other man back onto his cock. 

“Yes,” he gritted out as Victor took him into his mouth once more. Victor moaned around Yuuri’s cock and Yuuri used the grip in his hair to guide him down and back up. Victor was gripping Yuuri’s thigh _hard_ with the hand that wasn’t around his cock. Yuuri hissed through his teeth as Victor flattened his tongue against the underside of his dick and drug it upwards. He tightened his fingers in Victor’s hair and Victor moaned again. The feeling of the vibrations around his cock was amazing. Victor was sucking him hard and fast and Yuuri was biting his lip to keep from crying out. 

Yuuri breathed heavily through his nose while keeping his mouth clamped shut. He tried to communicate his appreciation through his hand in Victor’s hair since he couldn’t risk making any noise louder than gasps and whimpers. He only realized his eyes had shut when he felt Victor’s hand on his balls and they flew open. Victor cupped his balls in his hand and one finger pressed into the skin behind which made him whimper again. Yuuri felt he was going to fly apart any second and the stroking on his perineum was making it feel much more imminent. 

And then Victor pressed down hard and took Yuuri deep into his throat and Yuuri almost came up off the bed. He gave a cry as his mouth fell open. Victor repeated the motion once more and again and then Yuuri saw white behind his eyes and he was thrusting up into Victor’s mouth while holding the other man down in place with the hand in his hair. Victor made a noise of surprise and Yuuri felt he should probably let go, but he was in the midst of orgasm and couldn’t do anything but thrust shallowly up into his throat. 

After several seconds that seemed to last forever, Yuuri relaxed back down into the mattress and made his hand release Victor’s hair. He fell backwards onto the bed, his heart pounding and gasping for breath. He heard Victor gasping as well from where he knelt between Yuuri’s legs. 

As soon as he had the breath for speech Yuuri asked, “Are you ok?”

Victor gave a weak chuckle. “Mmm-hmm.”

“You sure?” Yuuri was starting to realize just how rough he’d been through that.

“Yes. Yes, I’m fine, Yuuri.” Yuuri raised his head enough to see the other man’s face. Victor was a _mess._ His hair was snarled into a tangle on top of his head, his lips were swollen and red, sweat and saliva ran down his face and chin. But he was smiling. Yuuri smiled and shut his eyes in relief, letting his head fall back. 

He heard Victor shifting around on the floor and then the sound of tissues being pulled from the box on his desk. Yuuri continued to float in the haze of orgasm with his eyes shut against the sunset light falling across his face from the window above. 

The bed sank beside his legs as Victor sat on the edge. Yuuri opened his eyes, blinking at the light. Victor had cleaned himself up some, though his hair was still tangled and his lips plump. He smiled down at Yuuri, sliding his hand up under Yuuri’s t-shirt to stroke his stomach and chest. Yuuri belatedly realized he probably looked ridiculous wearing only his shirt, completely naked from the waist down. He couldn’t help arching a bit into Victor’s touch, though. 

“So,” said Victor, with a coy look, “in these fantasies...did you...reciprocate at all?” Yuuri huffed a laugh. He started to sit up and then grinned at Victor.

“Actually, a lot of the time you would bend me over the boards and fuck me,” he said, trying his best to sound off-handed and casual. Victor’s eyes widened dramatically and he sucked in a breath. 

“ _Really?_ ” he asked, moving his body over Yuuri’s and coming to rest on his elbows to perch over him. Yuuri laughed a little at the reaction, his heart thrilling to see how much that idea interested Victor. He nodded. Victor lowered his head and kissed him, tongue pressing into his mouth insistently. Victor made delicious moaning noises as he did and pressed his hips against Yuuri’s. It was quite strange to feel the soft fabric of Victor’s sweats against his own naked body, especially when the other man’s erection pressed into his own still sensitive dick. Yuuri squirmed.

Victor broke the kiss. “Hmm, I think if you left your skates on, you’d be at the right height...” Yuuri was thrown for a moment before he realized Victor was actually thinking through the practicalities of sex in a skating rink. Yuuri flushed.

“Victor!”

“What? It’s _your_ fantasy, darling.” Victor had the same look on his face he often did when contemplating some piece of choreography, as if this was no stranger. 

Yuuri spluttered. “But...we can’t...you’re not serious!?”

“Why not?” asked Victor. “I mean we do have a skating rink right here, and you have the key. If we went in the middle of the night it’s not like we’d be interrupted. No one would ever know.”

“I’D KNOW. Oh my god, in the _Ice Castle_?? No, no, I’d never. I could never show my face there again! Every time I looked at the boards, I’d….no.” Victor pouted a bit. “NO,” Yuuri repeated firmly. 

Victor sighed. “Fine. We’ll table it for now.” Before Yuuri could object to this, Victor ground his erection back into Yuuri. “But as for _here and now?_ ” Victor gave Yuuri an almost pleading look and he felt his annoyance melt away. He reached up and cupped Victor’s face with one hand, bringing it down into reach for a kiss. Regardless of the man’s ridiculousness he felt incredibly fond of him. 

“What do you want?” Yuuri asked. He trailed his hand down Victor’s back to his ass, pressing him down while he shifted up against him, to emphasize his meaning. 

Victor’s breath caught. “Anything,” he whispered. Yuuri smiled.

“But what would you _like?_ ” 

Victor whimpered, squirming against him. “ _Anything,_ ” he repeated. Yuuri rolled his eyes. The truth was he would let Victor have anything he wanted. He secretly wished the other man would ask him for something more than they’d already done. But Yuuri didn’t know how to offer in any other way than he just had, and he really only knew one way to get Victor off so far.

Determined to at least get them both fully naked this time, Yuuri reached for the hem of Victor’s shirt. With a bit of assistance he got the shirt off and reached for his own, squirming out from under Victor enough that he could remove it. Victor made a happy noise and fell on his chest, placing a cluster of kisses on Yuuri’s bare skin. It made his face heat and his heart flare. 

It seemed like Victor might get completely distracted by kissing Yuuri’s chest, so he reached down and slid his hand under Victor’s waistband and gripped his cock. This brought Victor’s head up with a gasp and Yuuri started working his hand up and down, thoroughly enjoying the expressions on Victor’s face. Victor’s mouth had fallen open and it seemed like he was going to speak before a twist of Yuuri’s wrist made him fall silent again.

Yuuri had intended to move and give Victor another blow job, but he found he couldn’t stop staring at his reactions. He’d never thought hand jobs were very sexy, but there were definite advantages to this position. He shifted a little to the side to improve his reach and get a better view of Victor’s face. Victor, for his part, seemed more than happy to stay where he was, perched on his elbow, knees on the edge of the mattress, hips thrusting into Yuuri’s hand. Yuuri used Victor’s face and noises to guide him and soon he was furiously pulling at Victor’s cock, his hand sticky with precum and Victor giving little gasps of “yes” and “please.” Yuuri was willing him to come, he wanted to see it happen on his face. 

“That’s it, Victor, come on,” he encouraged softly. “Come for me.” Victor’s eyes flew open to look directly into Yuuri’s before his whole body shuddered and he gave a shrill, squeaking cry. His release was hot on Yuuri’s hand and Yuuri stroked him through it, never taking his eyes from Victor’s face, trying to burn these moments into his memory. 

As his body’s spasms slowed, Victor collapsed onto his side next to Yuuri. Yuuri pulled his hand from Victor’s sweats and hopped up to fetch the tissues. He cleaned his hand off and handed the box to Victor.

“Here,” he said. “Sorry.”

“Sorry, he says,” said Victor incredulously, but he took the tissues.

“I didn’t mean to. . .” Yuuri trailed off, realizing some things were still much easier to do than to say. “Make such a mess.” Victor gave a vague shrug. He pulled his sweats completely off, apparently deciding they were a lost cause, and wiped himself off. When he was done he turned so he was lying lengthwise on the bed and held his arms open for Yuuri. Yuuri scrambled into them and pressed against Victor’s naked body gladly. The two men lay twined together, hands stroking each other lazily. Yuuri felt somewhat aroused again from watching Victor’s pleasure and being this close to him, but it wasn’t a particularly demanding arousal so he was happy to just be held and petted. 

After a time Victor spoke. “You should call me Vitya.”

“Hmm?” 

“You should call me Vitya. It’s my...I guess nickname would be the word in English? In Russia, everyone has a familiar name their family and friends use. It’s a little like Vicchan or Yuchan, I guess. Mine’s Vitya.”

“Oh.” Yuuri thought back. “I don’t think I’ve ever heard anyone call you that.”

Victor shrugged. “Yakov does, and most of my teammates. I don’t use it much except with Russians. It’s too confusing on the circuit when everyone knows me as Victor.”

“Yurio calls you Victor,” Yuuri pointed out.

“He’s younger, and we hadn’t ever spent much time together until he came here.”

“So...you’d like it if I called you Vitya?” Yuuri confirmed, craning his neck to look at his lover. Victor grinned and nodded. “Ok, then. Vitya.”

Victor bent his head and kissed him briefly. “Even though I’m used to it, Victor still sounds formal to me. Not really appropriate for bed.”

Yuuri was quiet for a moment. He had to ask. “So...do all your lovers call you Vitya?” He bit his lip while waiting for Victor’s reaction. He felt Victor looking at him, but kept his gaze focused on the wall.

“Mmm...no,” said Victor after a moment. “Only the Russians, really.” There was another pause. “And it’s been a pretty long time. A pretty long time since I’ve been with anyone, really,” he finished softly. 

Yuuri’s heart was racing suddenly, but he tried to keep his voice calm. “How long is a pretty long time?”

“Mmm, maybe eight months?” Yuuri took a deep breath, trying to get himself to calm down. He was being silly. Victor continued, “And that was just a one night thing...after an event.”

“Who….no, nevermind, not important,” said Yuuri, cursing himself for not thinking before he spoke. Victor tightened him arms around Yuuri and drew him closer. 

“It was just someone I met at a club. I was drunk.” 

“It doesn’t matter,” Yuuri insisted. “I...shouldn’t have asked.” He closed his eyes and breathed in the scent of Victor’s skin. 

“Does it bother you?” Victor asked in a small voice that wasn’t characteristic at all. Yuuri looked up at him. 

“That you’ve been with other people?” he asked, confused. Victor raised his eyebrows in an ambivalent gesture. “No?” said Yuuri. “Of course not. Of course you have...no, I’m the weird one because I haven’t.”

“That doesn’t make you weird,” interjected Victor quickly. 

“It doesn’t make me normal,” returned Yuuri dryly. “Trust me, being a 23 year old virgin makes you weird, at least at an American college.”

“No, you’re not normal,” agreed Victor.

“Hey!”

“You’re extraordinary,” said Victor, before pulling Yuuri up and kissing him deeply.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for continuing to read this fic! Please let me know what you think, how this is going, what you'd like to see in the future. I live for feedback!
> 
> I should probably let you know what I'm thinking about for the future of the story. 
> 
> First of all, it will definitely keep going. I'm managing to stay 1-2 chapters ahead of posting, so my posting schedule is working out. I briefly thought I might post more often, but I spent most of this last week writing 8000 words of BDSM Victuuri porn (which you can read over [here.](http://archiveofourown.org/works/11011749) ) So that slowed me down a bit. 
> 
> I originally planned for time to move much faster in this fic, but it hasn't worked out that way. I keep having things I want to do with these two, and time is moving at a crawl. So I have some scenes in mind I was planning to set during the competition season. But I recently realized the regional competition is still TWO MONTHS AWAY from where we are in this fic. So...yeah. I will be moving those scenes up. I don't currently know if the story will make it to actually cover the competitions or not. 
> 
> My plan is to basically write until I feel like it's done? There are things I want to do, things I'm writing towards, but how quickly I get there depends on how many good things I can think up to throw into this fic. I mean, so far I'm not getting tired of these two talking out their relationship, dealing with character stuff, and having hot sexytimes. Are y'all?
> 
> Also, I'm not big on angst. I'm not planning to have some big angsty crisis come along and ruin their relationship or break them up or something in the name of drama. I kinda hate that, and it's sort of antithetical to the spirit of YOI, in my opinion. So, if you (like me) live in fear of the fluffy fic you're enjoying turning all angsty, don't worry. Chapter 4 is about as angsty as I plan to get. (Though it won't be the only instance of these two having to struggle with some of their character flaws. Chapter 7 includes more Fun With Anxiety Attacks.)
> 
> Alright, I will stop rambling. If you would LIKE more rambling, you can follow me on [Tumblr. ](https://kimthreerings.tumblr.com/)
> 
> Coming in Chapter 6: Lots and lots of smut. That's really the only thing in the chapter. 
> 
> Also, finally finally, if you're enjoying this story, tell your friends! I am embarrassingly needy as an author and kudos and comments make me write faster.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuuri strains a muscle during practice. Victor "helps."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I owe this chapter to the day I woke up with horrible nerve pain in my hip (I have a back condition) and couldn't get it to go away. So I used my pain to fuel shameless smut. I hope you enjoy it!

During their on-ice training the next day, Yuuri tweaked a muscle in his hip during a fall on a quad salchow. He at first insisted he was fine to continue practice, but Victor spotted him surreptitiously rubbing his buttock and hip and called a halt for the day. They left the ice and retreated to the small warm-up room off the locker room. 

Victor helped Yuuri stretch out and noticed him wincing. “Is it spasming?” he asked. Yuuri ducked his head and then nodded. “Ok, turn around then,” Victor instructed. Yuuri lay on his stomach and Victor straddled his thighs and started kneading the muscles of his buttock and hip. It didn’t take long for him to find the muscle in question, which was incredibly tight under his fingers. Pressing into it produced an instant groan from Yuuri, followed by a hand gesture urging him to continue. 

Victor worked diligently at loosening the muscle, putting his weight behind his massage. Yuuri continued to groan and hiss beneath him. Victor allowed himself to enjoy the sight of his lover stretching his arms over his head, hands clenched into fists. It was easy to imagine them in the same positions for entirely different reasons.

But Yuuri was in pain, not pleasure, and it wasn’t difficult for Victor to keep himself from getting too distracted. He was intimately familiar with being in Yuuri’s position, and knew how important it was not to let this minor injury linger or be ignored. He suspected Yuuri had ignored too many minor aches in the past, his stubborn determination driving him to skate through the pain.

Victor was almost surprised when Yuuri didn’t try to resume their training once the massage was over. He did insist he felt better and the muscle had stopped spasming, though Victor thought he could still see a slight favoring of the left hip in his walk. 

“We’ll do our yoga routine back at the onsen,” decided Victor as they gathered their things. “Hmm, or would it be best to soak it first, do you think?”

Yuuri considered. “Hmm, probably should wait to get in the onsen till after yoga, in case it flares back up.” Victor acknowledged he had a point. So they retired to Victor’s room as soon as they made it back to the inn. With Victor living in one of the banquet rooms, there wasn’t a lot of empty space available to them, so they usually spread their yoga mats on the bare spaces on Victor’s floor. Which meant they had to work on opposite sides of the bed, but they were familiar enough with their routine it wasn’t a big deal. Victor kept an eye on Yuuri that day, though, trying to catch every wince and indication that his hip was still bothering him. 

When they were done, they headed to the onsen. Yuuri groaned with pleasure as he relaxed into the hot water. Victor vaguely wondered if he should offer to massage him here, but decided trying to rub Yuuri’s butt in a semi-public place would make the other man tense up more than it helped. Too bad, though. 

After a long soak they went back upstairs wrapped in the onsen’ s robes. Yuuri headed for the door to the family quarters, but Victor stopped him with a hand on his arm. 

“Is the muscle still tight?”

Yuuri shrugged. “A little, but it’s better.”

“Let me give you a massage,” Victor did his best to keep any innuendo out of his tone, but he was afraid he failed. Yuuri gave him a small smile with a raised eyebrow. “Hmm?” Victor added in encouragement. 

“Ok,” agreed Yuuri and followed Victor back into his room.

Victor went to his closet and started digging through one of his bags. One of the flaws of this room that he hadn’t had time to address yet was the lack of storage. He still used some duffel bags and boxes to hold some of his things in the closet. He eventually found what he was looking for: a small zippered make-up bag containing a few glass bottles. 

He turned to see Yuuri lying on his back on the bed, knees bent. He wasn’t used to Yuuri seeming so comfortable in his space, but of course a lot had changed the last few days. He definitely liked it. Victor approached the bed.

“Take off your clothes and turn over.” Victor didn’t even try to keep his tone casual this time. This wasn’t an excuse to get Yuuri naked, he really did think his student needed more massage. But if he was going to do it, he didn’t see why it couldn’t be as fun as possible for both of them. 

Yuuri blushed at Victor’s words. “Oh, really?” he asked, slightly teasing.

Victor smiled. “Yep. I have very special massage oil, guaranteed to soothe. But that requires you naked.” Victor thought Yuuri may have shivered a bit as he stood to disrobe. Victor’s breathe caught a bit as he watched his lover undress. The man was gorgeous, his smooth skin stretched taut over well-defined muscles. Victor often marveled at how modest Yuuri was about his own attractiveness. Victor desperately wanted to show him how beautiful he was, but all he could do was say it with his actions when they were together.

Yuuri turned towards Victor when he was naked, and Victor let his gaze trace down and back up for a moment. Yuuri was still flushed, but Victor noticed he was starting to get hard just from being looked at. Victor smiled and stepped toward him, bending down for a kiss. It was somehow deeply erotic to hold Yuuri against him, totally nude, when Victor was still clothed. They kissed deeply, and slowly, taking their time. 

Victor had wanted to kiss Yuuri all day, but he had respected the younger man’s discomfort with public affection. It was probably best to keep their professional and personal relationships separate as much as possible anyway. Though Victor wasn’t sure how long _that_ was going to be possible.

Victor didn’t allow them to become too distracted from the goal. After they broke apart he turned Yuuri around by the shoulders, doing his best to ignore the evidence of Yuuri’s growing arousal. He gave Yuuri a light shove. “Lie down.”

Yuuri did as commanded, though Victor suspected he moved himself into position in as sensual a way as possible. And when Yuuri tried to be sensual it tended to short-circuit Victor’s brain, as his Eros program had proved. Victor paused, wondering if he should remove his own clothes. He didn’t want to encourage Yuuri too much in his attempts at distracting Victor from his purpose, but he also didn’t want to exactly discourage him. He decided to split the difference and remove his short robe, but keep the loose shorts in place. 

He climbed onto the bed on his hands and knees and paused next to Yuuri. Yuuri looked up at him, turning partly over. He looked Victor right in the eye and murmured, “How do you want me?”

Victor’s brain misfired at that and all he could do was suck in air through his suddenly gaping mouth. Yuuri’s eyes danced at his reaction. Victor swallowed and licked his lips.

“You’re evil,” he complained, shaking his head. Yuuri laughed and then turned his face into the pillow. Victor leaned forward and ran a hand down his back, slowly. Yuuri purred at that, and Victor felt his dick twitch in response. Great, now he had to try to keep both Yuuri and his own anatomy under control long enough to actually do some good for his hip.

He climbed over Yuuri’s body then, positioning himself on his knees next to Yuuri’s uninjured hip. He shifted Yuuri until he was lying on his side so Victor could massage the entire muscle that wrapped around his pelvic bone. Victor commended himself on choosing to sit on this side of him so he couldn’t actually see his cock. He wasn’t sure if he could have resisted if he could see Yuuri’s arousal.

Victor opened the small case and removed one of the bottles within. It was a special massage oil for sore and injured muscles he’d gotten from a massage therapist he knew in Saint Petersburg. Victor used it on himself when he was suffering a pulled muscle or other minor injury. But this was going to be much more fun than applying it to himself. 

Victor poured a small amount of oil over his fingers and set to work on Yuuri’s hip. He could still feel that the muscle was tighter than those around it, though not nearly as bad as it had been at the Ice Castle. Quickly Yuuri began making small grunts of pain and satisfaction as Victor worked deeper into the tissue, rocking back and forth. He applied more of the oil directly to Yuuri’s skin and worked on rubbing it in. It had a vaguely minty, antiseptic smell, with an overlay of something green and herbal. It wasn’t the scent Victor would choose for an erotic massage, but he was assured the ingredients were healing.

Victor felt the muscle starting to release under his fingertips. He dug in harder, following the muscle down. “Oh!” Yuuri moaned. “Oh, there, yes.” Victor switched to using his knuckles, putting the weight of his upper body behind them. Yuuri grunted. Victor worked that area more before switching back to his fingertips and moving on.

He worked Yuuri’s muscle in a soothing rhythm. He found his own mind drifting, not thinking about anything in particular, just following the guidance of Yuuri’s noises and the feel under his fingers. After a time he pressed Yuuri so he was lying on his stomach instead of his side and continued to work, now moving more into the main part of the gluteal muscle. He did let himself enjoy the view of Yuuri’s magnificent ass as he kneaded the left buttock. In fact, Yuuri’s entire back was magnificent, the muscles clearly defined, making Victor want to run his hands over all of them. He focused on his task, though, and soon felt Yuuri relax more and more into the mattress. His moans now were soft things, not tinged with real pain anymore. 

Victor poked at the strained muscle up and down it’s length. He didn’t find any knots or extra tight spots. He grinned to himself and then reached for the zippered bag. He grabbed one of the other vials, checking it was the one he wanted. He poured a sizable amount on his fingers and the scent of this new oil rose up to him. It was a musky scent, with a tinge of spice and the sweetness of vanilla. It made Victor think of sex, and that’s why he’d bought it. He’d imagined using it just like this, on a lover, but had never had the opportunity. 

He spread the oil up the plane of Yuuri’s back with both hands. Yuuri made a sound of pleasure, and Victor moved to straddle the other man as he had back at the rink. He reached forward to bring the oil all the way up to his neck, pressing his thumbs into the tight muscles at the base of his neck. Yuuri moaned at that, arching his spine a bit into Victor’s touch. That also lifted his ass slightly, brushing against the front of Victor’s shorts. Victor resisted the urge to grind down against him, pulling back to run his hands fully down Yuuri’s back and back up again. Yuuri obviously appreciated the move, his hips tilting under Victor again. Victor sat back on his heels.

“Now don’t get too excited, or you’ll tense up your hip again,” he scolded, bringing his hands back to Yuuri’s hips, pressing him down into the mattress firmly. Yuuri made a strangled noise. 

“’S your fault,” he mumbled into the pillow. Victor smiled down at him, though he knew the other man couldn’t see it.

“You want me to stop?” he asked innocently. 

“ _Nooo_ ,” moaned Yuuri, trying to buck his hips again, though Victor held him firmly in place still. Victor bent and placed a kiss to the back of Yuuri’s neck, covering his body with his own. 

“Ok, then, but you have to be good and stay relaxed, ok?” he whispered. Yuuri nodded eagerly. 

Victor sat back up and contemplated the expanse before him. He wasn’t done with it yet, he decided. He got a little more oil onto his hands and pressed both of them into the globes of Yuuri’s ass. He squeezed and kneaded just as he’d been longing to do for...well, a really long time. Yuuri made small sounds of pleasure, his hips moving slightly, but not lifting up.

Victor continued to enjoy his exploration of Yuuri’s buttocks, sliding over them, cupping them from below, pulling them apart slightly. This earned him a gasp from Yuuri. Victor decided to take that as encouragement, and slid his oiled thumb down to stroke up Yuuri’s perineum. Yuuri gave a bigger gasp and then a whimper. Victor repeated the motion, pressing a little higher, stopping just short of pressing between his cheeks. Yuuri jerked his hips and then pressed back against Victor’s finger with a moan. 

Victor’s could feel his heartbeat in his throat and he was rapidly hardening. He directed his attention back to his partner, though, and obeyed Yuuri’s wordless plea, sliding his thumb up between his cheeks until it rested lightly against Yuuri’s hole. Yuuri’s hips jerked again and he breathed a word that Victor couldn’t make out. 

Victor stroked around the puckered muscle, alternating the pressure so it was very light one moment and insistently pressing the next. He enjoyed Yuuri’s responses, the way he tried to press back to increase the touch. They continued this dance for a while, Yuuri chasing his thumb and Victor pressing more and more firmly into his opening with each circle. 

Yuuri was still making all kinds of noises, murmuring words in what Victor thought was a combination of Japanese and English, though he couldn’t really make any of them out. He was getting louder, though, and finally after Victor pulled his thumb back once more he cried out “Vitya! Vitya, please!”

That sent a hard shudder through Victor’s whole body, and he pressed further into Yuuri where the muscles had begun to relax. 

“Yes, please,” begged Yuuri. Victor took a couple steadying breaths. He thought things through furiously. He took his hand off Yuuri’s ass and lifted himself off and to the side. Yuuri gave a complaining whimper and looked around at him, question on his face. 

“Turn over, _miliy_ ,” Victor instructed him. Yuuri nodded and rolled, exposing his erect cock to Victor’s gaze. Victor hadn’t had a lot of time to study Yuuri’s cock, but he took a moment now to appreciate it. It wasn’t overly long, but was plenty thick, with a slightly bulbous shape and narrower tip. 

Victor realized he was staring and he moved to kneel between Yuuri’s legs, spreading them with his hands as he did so. He pushed his legs up until his feet were flat against the bed, knees bent and spread wide. Victor checked in with Yuuri, seeing his eyes wide and his breathing coming fast. Victor’s face must have been asking a question because Yuuri nodded at him.

Victor made a movement to touch Yuuri’s cock automatically, but stopped himself. He had intentions there, and he’d already discovered this oil didn’t taste particularly good. So instead he lowered his head and placed a kiss to the underside. Yuuri pressed upwards, trying to get more, but Victor smirked and sat back.

“Patience,” he chided. Yuuri groaned. Victor reached back for the massage oil, pouring a good amount out to coat the fingers of his right hand. He brought his index finger to Yuuri’s opening, swirling around the rim again. Yuuri’s noises were nothing but encouraging, so Victor started pressing into the center, very slowly, moving just the tip of his finger in and out. Yuuri started making fully voiced moans in time with his movements. Victor’s heart leapt. He wanted so much to make this good for his partner, for him to enjoy it, and he was a little terrified of doing something wrong and making Yuuri pull back from him. He treasured every new sound of pleasure, using them to comfort his own nervousness.

He pressed his finger more firmly inside, and all at once the muscles parted and it slid in most of the way. Yuuri responded enthusiastically, lifting his hips and moaning loudly. The secret to getting Yuuri to forget his inhibition when it came to being vocal in bed was apparently to touch his ass. This was good information to have, Victor thought. 

He continued to move his finger in and out steadily. The oil he was using wasn’t as slick as actual lube, making friction slightly more intense than it would otherwise be. But his finger still moved smoothly, and he soon brought his second finger to press against the opening. He paused, looking to Yuuri before moving. Yuuri sensed his gaze and met it, nodding emphatically at him. Victor smiled and pressed both fingers past the ring of muscle. This time he felt more resistance, and he didn’t press further yet, giving Yuuri time to adjust and relax. 

He bent forward and lowered his mouth to Yuuri’s cock, licking a long stripe up the underside. Yuuri gasped and squirmed under him, and Victor’s fingers slid a little further inside him. Victor mouthed at the head of Yuuri’s cock, trying to get it into his mouth without using his free hand. He finally managed it, swallowing Yuuri down halfway in one movement, pressing forward with his fingers at the same time. His chuckle at Yuuri’s enthusiastic response buzzed around his cock, which only made Yuuri moan louder.

Victor worked on his rhythm, raising up on Yuuri’s cock as his fingers pressed forward and swallowing him down as his fingers withdrew. Yuuri made breathy gasping noises in time with his movements. Victor pressed up then, feeling for Yuuri’s prostate. He knew he was brushing it when he felt Yuuri’s body jerk harder under him and Yuuri’s gasps became little squeaks. He pressed more firmly into the spot, stroking it while licking up and around Yuuri’s cock. Yuuri’s voice dropped down at least an octave into rolling moans and Victor could see his head start thrashing side to side in his peripheral vision. 

“Oh, oh, so close,” moaned Yuuri a short time later, causing Victor to increase the speed of his movements and press his mouth down all the way to the root of his cock. He was rewarded with the arching of Yuuri’s spine followed moments later by a ragged cry and a hot spurt into his throat. He sucked hard at his cock, waiting out the last pulses before letting it fall from his lips. He gulped air while watching Yuuri hungrily, enjoying how debauched his lover looked. Yuuri’s eyes were shut, his head turned to the side as he also worked to get as much air as possible into his lungs. His hair was mussed crazily, much of it sticking straight up. A light sheen of sweat had collected in the midline of his chest and as Victor watched droplets rolled further down as Yuuri’s chest heaved. 

Victor flexed his fingers where they remained inside Yuuri, provoking a full-body spasm in the other man. He chuckled softly and withdrew his hand as carefully and gently as he could. He shifted to the edge of the bed to reach for tissues and used them to clean himself and Yuuri. He reached down to adjust his erection which was finally intruding on his attention. 

Meanwhile Yuuri had retrieved his glasses from the bedside table and put them back on. He caught the movement of Victor’s hand between his own legs. “Hmm, I feel like I’m always feeling guilty about neglecting you.” He reached a hand to touch Victor’s thigh where it rested next to him.

Victor smiled. “Don’t worry about it. Trust me, I’m happy to wait.” Victor bent to kiss him softly. “I love giving you pleasure.” Yuuri reached up to grip the back of his head and pulled him back down, kissing him hard. Yuuri’s tongue pressed into Victor’s mouth boldly, claiming him thoroughly. Victor drew his legs up behind him so he could lay partially on top of Yuuri, pressing his hard length into the other man’s thigh, only the thin fabric of his shorts between them. One of Yuuri’s hands traced down his bare back to grip his ass, pressing them more tightly together. Victor thrilled at the relief the grinding brought his aching cock and he groaned into Yuuri’s mouth. 

After a few minutes of this, their lips broke apart. Victor buried his face in Yuuri’s shoulder and continued to rub against him, his need for more stimulation growing desperate. Yuuri pressed his thigh up to meet Victor.

“You could...” Yuuri looked up at him through his eyelashes, as if hoping Victor would complete his sentence. After a moment he continued “...fuck me?” Victor lifted himself up on his elbow to look at his lover. Yuuri’s cheeks were red and he slid his eyes away from Victor’s. Victor took a couple breaths before placing a gentle kiss on Yuuri’s lips.

“I’d love to, my darling, but I can’t,” he said regretfully. Yuuri’s brow furrowed.

“It’s ok,” he insisted. “I want to.” Victor fell on his lips again, kissing him thoroughly.

“It’s not that. I’m...glad you want to. I’m...grateful. I want to, trust me Yuuri, I want to,” he explained. “I really can’t. The oil...I wasn’t thinking about it. The oil doesn’t work with condoms. It wouldn’t be safe.” Victor was mentally kicking himself for being too lazy to get up for proper lube. Because there was nothing he’d like more than to slide deep inside this incredible man. But he honestly hadn’t expected it would be a possibility this soon, hadn’t anticipating Yuuri being eager…

“Oh,” said Yuuri. “I didn’t realize.”

“I’m sorry. I wasn’t expecting...” 

“No, it’s fine.” Yuuri shimmied his body to the side to give them more room. “Lay down,” he said.

Victor did as requested, sliding out of his shorts as well. Yuuri sat up and took a moment to look down at him. Victor felt his face warm. He wasn’t embarrassed exactly. He knew he looked good. He...hoped he did, at least. There was something disarming about Yuuri that Victor had never experienced before. Victor had always known what most people thought about his looks. But the only one that really mattered to him now was Yuuri. What if Yuuri got tired of him; what if he didn’t live up to expectations? It was really only a split second of doubt, but it wasn’t something Victor was used to feeling at moments like this. 

Luckily Yuuri bent over him and placed an open mouthed kiss onto Victor’s chest, right in the center. He worked his lips and tongue over his skin, curving around the lines of musculature, moving to his left nipple and flicking it with his tongue. Victor groaned in appreciation. Yuuri smiled against his skin and then sucked his nipple into his mouth. He sucked at it for a moment before taking it in his teeth and biting gently. That made Victor’s spine arch and a whimper escape him. He gripped the back of Yuuri’s head and held him in place as he started bucking his hips. Yuuri’s mouth on his nipple seemed to be directly connected to his cock. Yuuri gave him another nibble before letting his nipple go with a pop of suction. Victor groaned again, wondering exactly when Yuuri had become so bold, so confident. He just hoped it was permanent because he wanted this incredible man in his bed every day, every night, forever. 

Yuuri had moved on to his other nipple, giving it the same treatment and eliciting the same noises of appreciation and frustration from Victor. Victor squeezed his eyes shut as Yuuri kissed his way down his torso, moving slowly but definitely in the direction victor most wanted him to go. Yuuri moved around Victor’s left leg, which Victor raised out of the way to let his partner slide in between his legs. 

But once Yuuri was there, he just looked at Victor again. Victor couldn’t help the needy sound he made or the way his hips lifted, silently begging. Yuuri smiled and his eyes danced as he lowered one hand until it was just over Victor’s cock. He extended one finger carefully and touched the leaking head so lightly Victor almost couldn’t feel it. He bucked up wildly, his groan ragged. 

“Yuuri!”

“Yes, Vitya?” asked Yuuri and it was said in the most innocent tone. That and the use of his familiar name made Victor want to throw the man down and ravish him. Instead he shut his eyes again and turned his head to the side.

“Do you want me to beg?” he asked, his voice breathy. 

“Mmmm,” mused Yuuri. “Maybe I do...” Victor bit his bottom lip hard. He took a couple breaths to get himself back under control.

“Please,” he said, his eyes opening to stare into Yuuri’s brown ones. “Please, Yuuri, darling, please, please, I need you to touch me.” His hips lifted up and down in their own plea. Yuuri smiled at him like a cat with cream (or maybe a mouse?) and he reached to touch two fingers to the base of Victor’s cock, not moving them. Victor bit his lip again to keep from crying out and bucked his hips uselessly. 

“Like this?” Yuuri asked, and oh, Victor was going to pay him back for this one day. He gave a strangled sob and shook his head. “Or like this, maybe?” Yuuri moved his fingers to press firmly against the very tip of his glands. Victor’s hips moved without his consent, pressing against Yuuri’s hand, but not satisfying him at all. 

“Oh, did you want something more like this?” Yuuri asked and circled his cock with his hand and pulled up _hard._ Victor’s entire lower half lifted off the bed, nearly hitting Yuuri in the face with his knee as it did. He wasn’t sure what noise he made, but he felt on the verge of tears. 

“Please, please, please,” he sobbed once his hips were resting back on the mattress, and praise to all gods Yuuri took pity on him and lowered his mouth to his cock, swallowing him deeply in one move. And he kept moving, up and down with his lips tightly clamped around him, his fist still gripping at the base. Victor tried to still his hips but he was nearly beyond control, thrusting shallowly. He realized there _were_ tears leaking from the corner of his eyes and his mouth was still moving in a repetitive whispered prayer. “Please, please, please.”

It took longer than he thought it would, and he felt balanced on the edge for an infinitely long time, but it probably wasn’t really that long at all before he was tipping over, his balls tightening and his orgasm ripping through him and into Yuuri’s mouth. Victor was distantly grateful he’d moved mostly beyond words and sounds a while ago because otherwise he was pretty sure he’d have shouted to notify the entire inn. Instead he gaped open-mouthed, the only sound he could make a hoarse breathy gasp. 

He felt like he came for an incredibly long time, spasm after spasm jerking his hips up. It was only in stages that his body unclenched, first his mouth going slack, then his back relaxing against the bed, then his hands releasing their grip from the sheets. And finally his hips subsiding into tiny involuntary jerks as his cock fell from Yuuri’s wet mouth, completely softened. His legs collapsed then, falling bent to the side as the last of the tension bled from him. 

Yuuri was sitting cross-legged on the bed on the far side of his knees, looking smug as he wiped his mouth with his hand. Victor raised a hand to his face, covering it as he closed his eyes. He touched his own face, which felt strangely numb and like it wasn’t entirely under his own control. He groaned softly, his hips jerking a couple of times with aftershocks. 

After a few moments the weight on the bed shifted and Victor felt Yuuri pressing against his side. 

“You ok?” he asked, stroking a hand down the center of Victor’s chest. That made Victor twitch again. 

“Mmm,” managed Victor in response. Yuuri laughed.

“Is that a yes?”

“Mmm-hmm.” 

“Wow, I think I made Victor Nikiforov speechless.” said Yuuri in a teasing tone.

“Mmm-hmm,” Victor agreed. He rolled towards Yuuri and gathered him in his arms, pressing the smaller man’s head into his chest. Yuuri settled into place, wrapping his arm around Victor’s waist. Several minutes passed as the two men lay contented in each others’ arms. Sweat cooled on Victor’s skin and the warmth of his orgasm faded from his limbs, though he could still feel it in his groin.

“That was possibly the best orgasm I’ve ever had,” he said, when he felt he could speak. 

“Really?” asked Yuuri from where his face was pressed against Victor’s chest.

“Mmm-hmm. Or close to it. Best for a long time at least.”

“Hmm,” returned Yuuri. There was a moment of silence. “So, you like to be teased?” Victor thought about it. Did he? 

“Hmm, I like to be teased by you, at least,” he answered finally. 

Yuuri pressed a kiss against his skin. “Noted.” Victor smiled leaning his head against Yuuri’s hair, breathing in the scent of him.

After a time, he was able to ask, “So...you liked...everything?”

Yuuri looked up at him, his face open. He studied Victor’s face for a few moments before getting it. “Oh! You mean...yes, I liked _everything._ ” His face had gone pink, but he wasn’t shying away. Victor was fairly sure he was also blushing. Something about being with Yuuri made him feel so much younger and less confident than he ever did.

“Good,” said Victor, bending down to kiss him. 

“Mmm,” said Yuuri once they parted. “I...knew I would like it. I mean, I...I’ve tried...penetration before. On my own.”

“Oh, _really_?” Images suddenly flashed through Victor’s mind: incredibly interesting images.

Yuuri ducked his head, burying his face against Victor’s chest. “I...I have a toy, too. That I’ve used.” Victor sucked in air, the images in his head becoming even more obscene. He cleared his throat.

“And...this toy...is it...here?” His voice had gone much higher than usual on the last word. Yuuri snorted slightly.

“It’s in my room.”

“Hmm, noted,” said Victor, echoing Yuuri’s tone from earlier. He shifted to his side, cupping Yuuri’s chin and lifting it as he did. He pulled his lover up to meet him and kissed him firmly. Yuuri responded enthusiastically and soon Victor had rolled half on top of him, pressing the smaller man into the mattress. 

_I love you._ The words echoed through Victor’s head, but he wasn’t sure Yuuri was ready to hear them. He was scared, so scared of making a mistake with this. So instead, after several seconds of staring at Yuuri, he whispered, “ _radost’ moya._ ”

Yuuri raised his eyebrows. “What’s that?” he asked, also in a whisper.

“My joy.” Victor spread his hand out on Yuuri’s chest, over his heart.

“Oh.” Yuuri flushed, but smiled widely at him. “Thank you, Vitya.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yuuri's pain led to him having a much better day than mine did!
> 
> Thanks to everyone for your comments, kudos, bookmarks, subscriptions...they are everything! 
> 
> To make up (?) for this chapter, there is zero smut in the next one. And a touch of angst.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> All this togetherness is a little stressful for Yuuri.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, I promised I wouldn't be bringing major angst, but here is a LITTLE angst. 
> 
> Content Warning: Description of moderate anxiety attack.

Yuuri awoke because someone was shaking him. And there was something on his legs. Something panting...

“Oh, Makkachin,” he mumbled. Makkachin whined from his spot lying across Yuuri’s legs. Victor was kneeling on the bed next to Yuuri. It was he who had shaken him.

“Yuuri, time to wake up.” Yuuri squinted at him before trying to roll away from him and bury his face in the pillow. “Yuuri! You’ve been slacking on your workouts. I’m not letting you get away with it today.” Yuuri groaned.

“Can’t get up, Makkachin is holding me down. Gonna have to go back to sleep.”

“Did you hear that Makka? He’s trying to blame _you_ for his laziness!” Victor lay down next to Yuuri and pressed against him. “I can’t believe you’re using my dog as an excuse.”

When Yuuri didn’t reply Victor leaned in close to his ear. “Do I need to wake you up like I did the other day?” He pressed his hips against Yuuri’s side to demonstrate. “That seemed to open you eyes.”

“Mmm,” Yuuri managed. He rolled back towards Victor with a sigh. “No, I’ll get up.” He reached to hunt for this glasses on the bedside table.”

“Well you don’t have to act like it would be a _punishment_ for me to wake you with sex,” Victor pouted. Yuuri ignored him, sitting on the side of the bed and stretching. He took a moment to appreciate that sleeping in the same bed with Victor had come to seem so normal. He stood finally, looking around for his clothes before remembering that he hadn’t actually been wearing clothes when he’d followed Victor into his room the night before. He crossed to the other side of the bed to dig the onsen’s robe and shorts out from under the edge of the bed.

When he turned to face the bed he caught sight of Victor, still sitting propped up in bed, watching him, his expression petulant. It brought a smile to Yuuri’s face. The man was completely ridiculous at times. Victor’s expression only became more injured.

Yuuri held back a chuckle as he climbed slowly onto the bed and moved towards Victor. Victor held his pout but his eyes sparkled at Yuuri’s approach. Yuuri knelt at his side, sitting back on his heels before stretching out a hand to stroke through Victor’s hair. He brushed the silver fall away from his eyes before leaning slowly in. He enjoyed watching Victor’s petulant expression drop, his mouth fall open in expectation.

Yuuri placed a gentle kiss on Victor’s forehead, then moved downwards slowly, placing another between his eyebrows, and then on the tip of his nose. Victor jerked back a bit at that, making a tutting sound. Yuuri smiled and then brushed his thumb down from Victor’s brow and across his eyelashes, urging his eyes closed. He kissed his eyelids then, lightly, one after the other. Victor’s mouth had gone slack again and Yuuri kissed down his cheek towards it. He finally brushed his lips lightly across the other man’s, their lips moving against each other softly for only a few moments before he sat back.

Victor looked stunned. All demand and dramatic performance had left his face and he simply gazed at Yuuri. The intensity of his look made Yuuri blush and feel self-conscious. He looked down to break the tension and swallowed.

“Anyway, I have to go get ready,” he said, wincing at the obviousness of his sudden discomfort.

“Okay,” replied Victor, voice soft but even. Yuuri glanced back at him to check on his mood, but the other man looked calm and...understanding, maybe. Yuuri got off the bed and crouched down quickly to retrieve the robe.

“How’s your hip feel this morning?” Victor asked, voice more normal.

“Good,” replied Yuuri. “I can still feel it a little, when I bend, but it’ll be gone tomorrow probably.”

“We’ll make sure you stretch it out well before your ice time.” Yuuri nodded, moving towards the door. He paused to look back at Victor before he touched it. Victor was still in bed, still watching him. Yuuri felt he should say something, but had no idea what. He smiled instead and was pleased when Victor’s face broke into a wide, sweet smile back. Yuuri’s heart warmed and he felt comforted. He turned back, cracking the door to check the hallway for family members or guests before sliding quietly into the hall.

~~~~~

Victor had meant it when he’d said he wouldn’t let Yuuri slack off that day. His morning started with the run to the Ice Castle, followed by stretching and warm-ups, several hours working on jumps, and finally strength training in the rink’s small weight room. When he was done his legs felt like jelly and he was sporting several new bruises from colliding with the ice. And Victor still made him run home behind his bike.

His dinner could hardly console him either, since it consisted mostly of vegetables and salad with only a small amount of chicken. He looked longingly at everyone else’s bowls of yakisoba. He could hardly remember what a noodle tasted like. Victor didn’t help matters either, exclaiming loudly about the deliciousness of his meal and complimenting Hiroko’s cooking. Yuuri glared at him over the table and a bit at his mother as well as she patted Victor’s shoulder and thanked him, offering him second helpings. Hiroko seemed even more warm towards Victor than usual and she kept glancing between him and Yuuri.

 _Oh._ Did she...know? Yuuri looked down the table at Mari, who was still eating her own dinner. Mari sensed his gaze and looked up at him and smirked. Yuuri flushed and looked down at sad plate of lettuce. They knew. They must. Had they heard? His face burned.

“I’ve got to go,” he announced, grabbing his plate to return it to the kitchen. He could feel eyes on his back as he went, but no one questioned him, thankfully. He dragged himself up the stairs to his room and collapsed on the bed, burying his face in the pillow. His brain insisted on recalling all the moments when he or Victor had been particularly loud during their...passionate moments. He’d tried to keep from calling out as much as possible, but Victor made him feel so amazing…

He couldn’t help imagining his family overhearing those sounds. Or...or guests! It was more likely that guests would hear them when they were in Victor’s room, where their most enthusiastic encounters had taken place. Unless his family happened to walk past Victor’s room. Yuuri suddenly resented the tradition style of his family’s home in a way he never had. In America, this wouldn’t be such a problem. He sighed, turning over onto his back.

There was a knock at his door. “Yes?” he called. He knew he was right about who it was when the door opened without a response. His family would have asked permission before opening it. Victor just came on through and closed the door behind him.

Victor flopped onto the floor next to Yuuri’s bed in a sprawl. Yuuri blushed, remembering the last time he’d looked down on Victor from his bed, when the man had been on his knees in between Yuuri’s legs. Now, Victor rested his head on the edge of the mattress and threw an arm over Yuuri.

“Yuuri, why’d you run off?” he asked.

“Just tired,” Yuuri mumbled in response. He tried to squash the spark of annoyance in his chest at Victor’s intrusion into his space.

“Hmm. What do you want to do tonight?” Victor’s hand was crawling up Yuuri’s arm to his shoulder. Yuuri suppressed the urge to jerk away from it. What was wrong with him? Victor touched him and he didn’t like it all of a sudden? He should be grateful to have him here at all.

“I dunno, Victor, I’m tired.”

“Well, we could try that video game again. Or just hang out here in bed...” Victor launched himself up and onto the bed suddenly, climbing clumsily over Yuuri. Yuuri brought his arms up automatically, defensively, pushing up into Victor’s chest, pushing the man away. Victor froze, posed above him on stiff arms. Yuuri flinched but kept his arms in place holding the other man away. He was trembling a bit.

“Just...just...leave me alone, ok?” he gritted out, squeezing his eyes shut as he did. It wasn’t what he wanted to say, but it’s all he could manage. And maybe...yes, Victor was moving, getting off the bed.

“I’m...sorry,” Victor said from above him, his voice small. There was a moment of stillness as Yuuri lowered his arm back to his chest, his eyes still screwed shut. “Are you...can I...do anything?”

A part of Yuuri ached to hear the uncertain tone of Victor’s voice, but it wasn’t the part currently in control of his actions. He shook his head, trying to force his breathing to steady. “Just go.”

Another moment of silence, then he heard Victor retreat and the door open and close again. Yuuri immediately rolled over and buried his face in his hands. He clamped his jaw shut to keep from sobbing out loud. He let the shaking take over as the tears started. He clutched at his pillow, biting on the corner to stay quiet. He huddled there, curled on his side, until the tears stopped and the shaking died down. As the tension melted from his body, his exhaustion rose up and claimed him and he slid into darkness.

~~~~~

When Yuuri woke he was disoriented. It was night, but the lamp on his desk was still lit. He stretched out from the cramped position he’d been sleeping in, his muscles stiff. He felt the tracks of tears where they’d dried on his cheeks and he suddenly remembered.

 _Fuck._ He’d fallen completely apart in front of Victor; he’d been so mean to Victor. Yuuri didn’t even know why. What had made him act that way? Victor hadn’t done anything, hadn’t deserved Yuuri practically shoving him off the bed and throwing him out.

Yuuri forced himself to take several deep breaths before he spiraled out again. He honestly felt almost too tired, too emotionally wrung out to panic again so soon. And he needed to apologize to Victor. He hoped it would be enough. The other man would be justified in thinking Yuuri was a complete nutcase. _Fuck_ he thought again. He took another shaky breath.

Why had that even happened. That was the worst thing. Sometimes Yuuri fell apart and couldn’t even say _why._ It was one thing to fall to pieces after bombing a performance, childish as it was to hide in the bathroom stall to cry. But what? He couldn’t even eat dinner and talk to his...to Victor without ending up in tears?

The truth was Yuuri had just wanted to be alone for a while, and Victor had barged in on him. So much had happened in such a short time. He needed time to think about it.

He felt like his entire life, his entire world had changed in the last few days. He still wasn’t entirely sure this wasn’t all some kind of extremely vivid dream. Maybe he was in a coma, and this was what his brain was doing to keep him busy. Well, if that was the case, then he would just stay in the coma. Because this was too good to turn down. If he hadn’t already fucked it up beyond repair.

And that was the thing, really. He didn’t know what he was doing. He didn’t know exactly what all of this meant. What it meant to Victor, what it meant for them, what it meant for their future. He...couldn’t let himself think about that. All he did know was that he couldn’t turn it down.

When Victor had kissed him, had invited him into his bed, he’d been offered something he’d wanted so much for so long. And the best part was it was far, far better than he’d ever imagined. Yes, he’d fantasized about Victor Nikiforov. He’d imagined having the opportunity to sleep with him. But...he’d never, ever expected it would happen. When it did, it was both just like his fantasies and completely different. Victor was so different than he’d imagined him. Not nearly as...suave and collected. He was so much more real than that. So much less of a cliched fantasy. But being with him, it was so much more than Yuuri had imagined.

Yuuri’s heart burned at how much he wanted it to continue. He _wanted_ Victor, not just sexually, but...as...as a significant part of his life. But he didn’t know how long this would last. Until the Grand Prix Final? If that long? Would Victor decide he’d had enough of Yuuri anytime soon? Now? When he saw how truly broken Yuuri was, would he decide being romantically involved was a bad idea? Yuuri pressed a hand to his aching chest and forced his breaths to slow again.

Maybe thinking wasn’t a great idea after all. When he was with Victor, when they were wrapped up together, everything was perfect. Yuuri felt strong, and confident, and sexy, even. Victor treated him like he was, at least. Everything felt right in his arms. But as soon as he had a moment away…

Yuuri sat up, rubbing his eyes. He probably looked like hell. He was wearing the track pants and t-shirt he’d put on after his post-workout shower. He made a trip to the bathroom to clean up and wash his face, brush his teeth. He took a deep breath and moved towards the public part of the inn and Victor’s room.

He almost turned back halfway there. It was nearly midnight, and Victor should have been asleep a long time ago. He couldn’t wake him up just to apologize for his bad behavior. But when he approached the door he saw a light still shone in his room. Yuuri tapped at the frame of the door lightly, hopefully not enough to wake someone up. There was no response. Yuuri’s heart pounded in his ears. He should go back to bed. But...something was urging him forward anyway.

For one thing he knew he was not going to get to sleep unless he resolved things with Victor. He would stay awake all night worrying. So Yuuri gently slid the door open a couple of inches, enough to peer in.

Victor was lying in bed on his side, his face illuminated by the screen of his laptop, headphones in his ears. Yuuri sucked in a breath at the sight of him, at how he managed to be so beautiful doing something so normal. And he thought Victor looked sad and he wondered if he was responsible for that, or if it was related to whatever he was watching.

Makkachin was lying next to Victor and he perked up, spotting Yuuri at the door. That caught Victor’s attention and he looked at his dog and then at Yuuri. Their eyes met through the cracked door and Yuuri eased the door open the rest of the way. He hesitated though, not moving into the room.

Victor pulled the earbuds from his ears and moved his hand across the trackpad of the laptop hastily. It made Yuuri wonder if he was watching something he didn’t want him to see. But then Victor was looking back at him and Yuuri swallowed, unable to read the other man’s mood.

They stared at each other for a long, still moment. Yuuri took a step forward suddenly, then stopped himself and closed the door behind him. He turned back around and saw Victor had moved to sit on the edge of the bed, still staring at him silently.

Yuuri took a shaky breath. “I’m sorry,” he said, with feeling.

That seemed to break the spell and Victor was standing, shaking his head. “No, no,” he said, moving towards Yuuri. Then Yuuri was engulfed in his embrace, his head pressed into Victor’s shoulder as they clutched at each other.

“You don’t have to apologize,” said Victor into Yuuri’s hair.

“Yes I do,” Yuuri insisted, squeezing the other man more tightly. His legs felt a bit weak and he feared if he let go, he’d collapse. “I’m so, so sorry. I was so mean. I didn’t meant to be.” He felt Victor shake his head again.

“I know, darling, I know. It’s alright. It’s alright.” Yuuri squeezed his eyes closed and breathed deeply through his nose, pressing his lips into the skin of Victor’s shoulder inside the collar of his loose tee. Victor stroked up and down his back, soothing. Yuuri stood in his arms and let himself be comforted. Something inside him unclenched, the deep terror that Victor might push him away fading, for the moment at least.

After a while, when Yuuri’s body was starting to feel a bit less tense and strange, Victor leaned backwards and used a hand to angle Yuuri’s face up towards him. Their eyes met and Yuuri felt the emotion rise in him again, just barely under control enough for tears not to form in his eyes. It was such a mixture of emotion he couldn’t have even said what he was feeling exactly. Fear, gratitude, shame, love…

Victor studied his face for a few moments, seeming to see what was still so close to the surface. His face softened. “Come on, come to bed,” he said, waiting to see Yuuri’s assent in his eyes before turning to lead him to the bed by the hand.

Yuuri let himself be led, watching Victor clearing the laptop and headphones away, turning back the blankets and disturbing Makkachin so there was room enough for both of them. Yuuri fought against the lump in his throat at the other man’s tenderness. Victor slid into the bed and then looked up at Yuuri, holding the blanket up to make room for him.

Yuuri hesitated for a moment, realizing he was still fully clothed in his track pants and socks. It felt wrong for him to slide between the sheets like that, but he made himself do it because he simply couldn’t find the will or energy to take them off. He sank into the bed with a sigh, pressing against Victor and savoring the feel of the other man’s arms coming around him. He turn his face into Victor’s chest, trying to control the shivers that spread through him. Victor made a soothing humming sound and stroked Yuuri’s hair with one hand.

Yuuri focused on his breathing and urged his body to relax. Part of him still felt like panicking, wanted to scream at him for being so weak and needy. It almost made it worse that Victor was being so great, that being here in his arms felt so amazing. It stoked his fear about what would happen when Victor was gone, when it ended. He did his best to push those thoughts and fears aside, to enjoy the moment.

But his mind wouldn’t quiet. He knew Victor was aware of his struggles, he could feel the tension in the other man’s body matching his own.

“I’m sorry,” Yuuri whispered. For being such a pathetic mess.

“Yuuri, _radost’moya_ , don’t be sorry.” Victor’s voice was soft, the Russian phrase low and rumbling. “Please. It’s okay. Let it be okay.”

Yuuri looked up at him then, hearing the emotion under his words. Victor’s eyes were worried, his mouth slightly parted. Yuuri let out a breath and then surged up, pressing his lips to Victor’s desperately. He shifted his body, pressing the other man back, coming to lie half on top of him. Victor voiced his surprise into Yuuri’s mouth, but recovered in a second, kissing him back.

Yuuri pressed into his mouth hungrily. His tongue delved as deep as it could, possessing. He clutched at Victor’s shoulders, grinding a leg between the other man’s thighs. Victor was passive beneath him, letting him control everything, responding a bit bemusedly to this sudden passion. He felt Victor pull his head back and Yuuri broke the kiss. Victor gasped a breath but Yuuri didn’t pause before pressing his open mouth to Victor’s neck, mouthing and sucking and nibbling hungrily. Victor moaned beneath him, arching his back and gripping his shoulder hard. Victor was starting to respond in earnest and Yuuri thrilled to feel him surging up against him.

It was bliss. Finally, finally, the voices in Yuuri’s head were silent. The fear, the uncertainty, the endless spiraling panic quieted, crowded out by the fire of desire and passion. Yuuri’s body and mind were back in sync, both intent on only one thing: having as much of the incredible man underneath him as possible.

Yuuri continued licking and biting and sucking his way down the column of Victor’s throat, Victor writhing beneath him. Yuuri was hard now, grinding his erection into the leg Victor pressed between his own. He could feel Victor’s arousal hard against his own thigh as well. Yuuri rutted forcefully against him, an animalistic urge surging through him. He wanted to possess the other man, to claim him. He knew he was leaving bruises and marks on his neck, knew they would be visible, and the thought that other people would see them and _know_ didn’t fill him with panic now, but pride. He wanted the world to know Victor was _his._ He wanted _Victor_ to know it, too.

Yuuri pulled back, sitting up enough to pull his shirt off over his head. He intended to take Victor’s off next, but when he went to do so the other man caught his hand and stilled it.

“Wait. Yuuri, wait,” gasped Victor. His face was serious, and Yuuri stilled. His heart pounded and his breathing was ragged. He looked down at Victor, who was watching him again. After a moment he spoke again. “Yuuri, we...we should talk about this first.”

Yuuri’s brow furrowed in confusion. “Why?” he asked. Victor sighed.

“Yuuri, don’t get me wrong, I want you. Definitely. But you...aren’t exactly yourself and I don’t want...we should talk,” he finished.

Yuuri forced down the instinct that told him to push forward and try to convince the other man to let him continue. He’d never felt anything like this powerful drive to...overpower someone else before. Which meant Victor was probably right and they probably needed to talk about this. He forced himself to relax and rolled off Victor to lay at his side. He didn’t feel the urge to speak, didn’t know what to say at all. He just listened to the blood rushing through his veins, letting his breathing calm. Eventually his desire faded a bit as well, and he felt a bit more rational.

Finally Victor spoke, “Can we talk about what happened earlier tonight?” Yuuri blew out a breath but nodded. “Did I do something wrong earlier?”

Yuuri shook his head vigorously. “No, it wasn’t you. It was me. I’m sorry.”

“You don’t have to apologize, I told you that. I just want to understand.”

“I _do_ have to apologize because you _didn’t_ do anything wrong and I blew up at you.” Yuuri stared at the ceiling instead of at Victor.

“Was it something at dinner? That made you leave?” Yuuri thought about it.

“I don’t...I don’t really know that I can explain it all right now.”

“Okay,” said Victor, a little frustration bleeding through his calm. “Can you explain...any of it?”

Yuuri sighed and thought. “It’s...I just needed some time alone, I guess. And you came in and...I just need some time to myself sometimes.”

“You could have told me that.”

“I know. I...I was already too worked up or something. I told you, I get...panicked, I guess. I don’t always do the logical thing then. Can’t.”

“Okay.” There was a pause. “What about just now, with the...kissing.”

“Umm...” Yuuri fought down the urge to flee. “I’m a mess?” Victor shifted next to him, pressing against him. Yuuri fought with himself, both wanting and being terrified of turning to look at him. Instead he keep his eyes on the ceiling.

“You’re a sexy mess,” offered Victor, close to his ear. Yuuri snickered, surprised. The laughter freed something in him and he turned to look at Victor. The other man’s expression was concerned, his mouth pressed into a thin line, but his eyes were amused.

“I’m sorry I’m a complete wreck,” Yuuri whispered, cupping Victor’s face. Victor shook his head and leaned in, placing a soft kiss to his lips. There was still a question on his face when he pulled back and Yuuri shut his eyes for a moment.

“I just...couldn’t stop thinking? About everything, and panicking, and then, kissing you, being with you, it makes the fear stop.” He opened his eyes, stuttering to a halt. Victor’s eyes were wide and Yuuri wasn’t sure how that had sounded. “Does that sound… crazy?”

Victor smiled then, and gathered Yuuri against him, kissing him again. “No, love, no, it doesn’t.” Yuuri relaxed against him, pillowing his head back on his chest.

“Really?” he asked quietly.

“Really,” Victor answered decisively. “Yuuri, if you ever feel you want to be alone, just tell me. And if...if you need to kiss me, or...anything...to calm down, if that helps you, then, just let me know. Just don’t scare me like that, okay?”

He pressed a kiss against the top of Yuuri’s head. “Because I thought I did something to anger you and I didn’t know what. _I_ was scared, Yuuri. I thought I fucked up.”

Yuuri jerked back from him and looked up. “No! Victor.” He scooted up so he could grasp the other man’s face, look him straight in the eye. “No.” He saw the truth in Victor’s face, then. He _had_ been scared. Yuuri flashed to the scene when he’d opened the door, the sad expression on Victor’s face.

“No, Vitya, it was just me being stupid. I...” Yuuri stared into the other man’s eyes and struggled for words. There was something almost needy in Victor’s expression, and seeing him looking so vulnerable gave Yuuri courage. “These past few days have been the best in my _life._ It’s just been so overwhelming...” He couldn’t continue but Victor saved him by kissing him, deeply and thoroughly.

The warmth spread through him again, the sense of peace that came with losing himself in Victor. But this time he wasn’t overtaken by the intense need like he had been before. He felt content to relax into Victor’s embrace, enjoying being kissed.

They broke apart finally, Yuuri sighing as he relaxed to rest his head against Victor’s chest. He felt exhaustion settle into him, pulling him down. He wondered if Victor expected...more. This would be the first day they hadn’t had sex since the first time.

“I’m still tired,” he said aloud. Victor’s arms squeezed him.

“Me, too,” murmured Victor. “Will you turn off the lamp, Yuuri?” Yuuri relaxed.

“Sure,” he said, and rolled to reach the lamp switch. As soon as the light flicked off, Victor was pulling on his trailing arm, pulling him back into his arms. Yuuri chuckled at his impatience, but sighed as he snuggled into his lover’s warmth.

“Goodnight, Vitya,” Yuuri mumbled.

“Goodnight, love,” answered Victor. And Yuuri smiled to himself as he drifted to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Angst leads to snuggling! Yay! I felt like I hadn't dealt enough with Yuuri's anxiety in recent chapters. I think being around Victor 24/7 would be really tiring for someone like Yuuri, especially with the intensity of how things have been between them. 
> 
> Look! It's the first chapter without sex since chapter 2! It IS possible, but only if one of them is completely falling apart. (I promise the next chapter has sex. So don't get worried about me or anything. It also contains ACTUAL SKATING OMG.)
> 
> Feedback is extremely welcome. If I don't get love I start writing on other fics to try to feed my addiction to positive reinforcement. 
> 
> (Ok, not really, but I AM writing another long fic. It's getting difficult to switch back and forth.)
> 
> You can read my late night writing rambles and find out when I post that other story at my [Tumblr.](http://kimthreerings.tumblr.com)


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Victor is full of ideas.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, this is a long chapter. Hope you enjoy!

Training the next day was a little difficult. Both Victor and Yuuri were tired from their late night and the emotional rollercoaster they’d undergone. Victor could see Yuuri’s fatigue in the way he moved. Instead of focusing on jumps, as they had been, they worked on Eros. Yuuri’s first run through the program was a bit stiff and mechanical.

Victor pointed out a couple of technical points to correct, and then skated as close as possible to Yuuri, lifting his chin up so their eyes met.

“Yuuri, that performance didn’t make me want to throw you to the ice and ravish you,” he said in his most sultry voice. Yuuri’s eyes went wide.

“D-does it usually?” he squeaked. Victor smiled slowly.

“Yes,” he said emphatically.

“Oh.” Yuuri looked at him for a few moments, something heated rising in his eyes. “I wonder if I could skate it so you want _me_ to throw _you_ to the ice and ravish you?” This was said with a tilt of his head and the hint of a smirk.

Victor’s breath caught. “I’m sure you could.”

“Maybe I should try it, then.” And Yuuri skated to center ice, taking up his starting pose. Victor hurriedly skated to the boards.

“You want the music?” he called back. “I can play it on my phone.”

“Okay.” Victor tapped at his phone screen, pulling up the song and turning the volume up as loud as it would go. It didn’t fill the rink, but it was enough for Yuuri to hear it, enough to know whether he was on the rhythm.

As Yuuri skated this time, Victor noticed he was carrying more tension in his body. His movements were less sinuous and more forceful. He flew into his jumps with new strength. Victor feared he might spin out and plunge into the boards at one point. But Yuuri held it together to make his landing, though he stepped out on it. The step sequence was astounding, though. Yuuri moved like he was made of fire, and Victor felt he might burn if he got too close to that fierce heat.

Victor realized Yuuri was skating this program more like he had originally conceived it, as he himself would have skated it. When Victor had been trying to decide between Eros and Agape for himself, he’d been drawn to Eros. Mostly because he saw it as the more forceful and masculine piece, and he was known for bringing femininity to his performances. It was an image Victor had carefully cultivated as a teen, until the day he couldn’t stand it anymore, bored with everything. Then he’d had his hair cut and changed his style of dress to be less androgynous. But his skating tended to return to softness. Victor loved beauty too much to totally give up his trademark style.

Yuuri had taken Eros and made it his own, though. Victor had seen echoes of his own style in Yuuri’s skating, but he hadn’t imagined blending the heat of Eros with the allure of soft seduction. If Victor hadn’t already fallen for Yuuri, he’d have done so when he saw how he skated the program Victor had created.

On the ice, Yuuri brought the program to a close, wrapping his arms around himself and pinning Victor with a stare. Victor inhaled sharply, the combination of the heated look and Yuuri’s heaving chest setting off a string of dirty thoughts in his mind. Victor felt pinned by the stare, and after a silent moment, Yuuri skated towards him.

“Well?” he asked when he reached Victor.

Victor swallowed. “I’m waiting to be ravished,” he said, softly. Yuuri widened his eyes for a moment, then grabbed the boards behind Victor to pull their bodies closer. Victor’s ass hit the boards, Yuuri pressing against him in front. They breathed into each other’s space, and then Yuuri closed the distance and kissed him hard.

Victor whimpered into his mouth, feeling the kiss shoot through him and awaken nerves throughout his body. His cock stirred, and he felt a moment of panic knowing they were in public and he wouldn’t get to act on his desires.

The kiss didn’t last very long; Yuuri broke off to suck in more air, still winded from his program. But Victor felt dazed with it.

“How was it?” asked Yuuri.

“Mmm, great,” said Victor, his eyes focused on Yuuri’s lips.

“The program?” asked Yuuri, all seduction gone from his voice. Victor started.

“Oh. Umm, no, I meant the kiss.” Yuuri laughed then, a delighted sound. Victor smiled widely. He felt himself blushing from how easily he’d been distracted.

“Well, that’s good, but we were talking about my skating earlier, right?” Yuuri looked at him with a twinkle in his eye. Victor wanted to keep it there forever.

He cleared his throat. “Hmm, the program. You accomplished your goal, you communicated what you were aiming for. It was definitely passionate.”

“But?” asked Yuuri, anxiety creeping into his voice.

“But I like the way you normally skate Eros better. You...this time you skated it like I would probably skate it: full of arrogance. And I like to see that in you. You should be arrogant and confident in your skills. But the power of your Eros is that you manage to blend confidence and...a more passive seductiveness.” Yuuri’s mouth was open, his expression thoughtful. He didn’t say anything in response. “Do you understand what I mean?” asked Victor finally.

“Hmm, yeah. You like it with more femininity. When I’m the beautiful woman instead of the playboy.”

Victor smiled. “I _like_ you both ways, Yuuri.” He cupped Yuuri’s cheek lightly. “I think the program is more interesting and successful skated the way you have been skating it. But don’t worry, I’m seduced either way.”

Yuuri darted forward and captured his lips in a kiss. Victor was taken a bit by surprise, and could only passively accept it before Yuuri pulled back. Then Yuuri blushed across both cheeks and Victor had to laugh.

“Okay, a short break and then we’ll run it one more time.”

~~~~~

After they finished for the day and had eaten and bathed at the onsen, Yuuri headed to his room. Mindful of the events of the day before, Victor hesitated outside his own door.

“Do you want time to yourself?” he asked. Yuuri turned.

“Hmm, I was going to check in on some internet stuff, probably chat with Phichit.”

“Ok, I’ll be in here if you want to...come by later,” he said, trying to keep any hint of disappointment out of his voice. He turned towards his room.

“What are you going to be doing?” Yuuri’s voice interrupted his movements. Victor turned to him and quirked an eyebrow in confusion. “I mean, it’s not my business, I just thought, if you were going to be on your phone or something you could come hang out?” Yuuri was rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly.

Victor’s face cracked into a smile. “Sure!” he said. “Yeah I’d probably just be checking social media anyway.”

Yuuri smiled back. “Ok, well, see you in a minute.” He turned and went through the door to his room.

Victor ducked into his room, changing quickly into a t-shirt and loose pants. He grabbed his phone and headed to Yuuri’s room.

Yuuri was sitting at his desk, looking at his email. The text was in Japanese so Victor couldn’t have read any of it if he’d wanted to, but he still averted his gaze. He settled into Yuuri’s bed, surreptitiously inhaling the scent of his lover from the pillow. He opened his Instagram and started scrolling.

For the next hour Victor and Yuuri chatted and checked in with friends, occasionally sharing some funny joke or comment about someone they both knew. Victor heard Yuuri typing briskly, apparently chatting with Phichit. Victor wondered if they were talking about him at all, but suppressed the urge to ask. He would _love_ to know what Yuuri had said to his best friend about their relationship, though.

Victor ran out of new content and set his phone aside, starting to feel bored. Yuuri didn’t seem to be chatting anymore, but scrolling through a feed. Victor watched him for a moment, and then on impulse slid off the bed and crawled towards him across the floor. He settled next to Yuuri’s chair and rested his head on Yuuri’s lap.

Yuuri chuckled above him, his hand threading through Victor’s hair, pushing it back from his face. “Bored?” he asked.

“A little,” Victor admitted. “But don’t stop what you’re doing. I’m fine here.” Yuuri laughed again, petting Victor softly.

“You sure?” he asked. Victor sighed with contentment.

“Just don’t stop petting me.”

“You’re as bad as Makkachin. Where is he, anyway?”

“With Mari. He’s working on getting her to give him all the scraps from the kitchen, I think.”

“Well, if anyone can soften up Mari, it’d probably be Makkachin.”

They were quiet for a while, Victor perfectly content to sit at Yuuri’s feet and nuzzle into his thigh. After a time Yuuri shifted, stretching his legs in front of his chair. Victor’s attention was caught by the movement and he looked down at Yuuri’s feet. They were undoubtedly the feet of a skater, bruised and raw in places, scabbed over in others. Victor frowned and reached to stroke the top of one foot without even meaning to.

Yuuri started, jerking his foot back.

“Oh, sorry!” Victor said, lifting his head to look up.

“You just...surprised me,” said Yuuri. He frowned at Victor a little.

“I was...noticing your feet. They’re in pretty bad shape,” Victor explained.

“Oh. Well, you know how it is.” Yuuri tucked his feet under the chair again.

“Yeah. One nice thing about not being in heavy training anymore is my feet don’t hurt all the time.” Victor sat back to peer under the chair at Yuuri’s feet again. “I’ve got an idea!”

“Hmm?” asked Yuuri, unsure.

“I’ll be right back! Don’t move,” Victor instructed, standing up and leaving a confused Yuuri behind him as he left the room.

~~~~~

It took about twenty minutes for Victor to gather what he needed. He’d had to communicate his needs to Mari, who had looked at him strangely until Victor explained it was for Yuuri’s feet. Well, she’d still looked at him strangely but she’d helped him find the supplies. Victor stopped in his own room on the way back to Yuuri to dig around in his things for the last ingredient.

He carried everything to Yuuri’s room with difficulty, knocking at the door with his foot. Yuuri came over and opened the door, looking at Victor’s full arms suspiciously.

“What is all that?” he asked, as Victor moved past him.

“To soak your feet!” Victor proclaimed triumphantly. Yuuri gave him a version of the same look he’d gotten from Mari.

“Did you forget we live at an onsen, Victor? I already soaked my feet in the spring.” Victor’s face heated, but he continued setting out his supplies.

“No, I didn’t forget. But I have special salts I brought with me. You can’t put those in the onsen.” He had his back to Yuuri as he set down the plastic basin Mari had given him. He opened the zippered baggie he’d brought from his room and dumped a handful of salts into the basin, before pouring hot water from the pitcher he was also carrying. He’d intended to fill the basin downstairs, but Mari had been worried about spills, and convinced him the pitcher would keep the water hotter, anyway.

He stirred the salts into the water, watching them dissolve. The water was just on the comfortable side of scalding. Victor shifted to the side, and gestured for Yuuri to sit back in his desk chair which Victor had turned to face the basin. Yuuri looked at him for a moment and then shrugged and moved to sit.

He hissed as he submerged his feet in the water, his wounds evidently stinging. “You used to do this?” he asked.

Victor nodded. “Yup. This is a special blend of salts and oils. I got it from the same woman who made the massage oil.” The scent of the oils wafted up to them, reminding Victor of their massage two days before. “How does it feel?”

Yuuri tilted his head in an ambivalent gesture. “A little painful. But good, too.” Victor nodded.

“It’s important to take care of your feet,” he said seriously. Yuuri met his eyes where he was kneeling in front of the basin. “You need to take care of your whole body, Yuuri. That’s the only way you’ll be able to skate as long as I have.” Yuuri flinched slightly and looked away. Victor frowned at that reaction.

Yuuri looked back at him. “You know I almost retired after the Grand Prix Final.”

Victor nodded slowly. “I didn’t. I’m not completely surprised. But you were still skating when I showed up.”

Yuuri shrugged. “I...was out of shape. I almost gave up completely.” It seemed for a moment he might say more, but he stopped. Victor reached and grasped his ankles with both his hands, massaging up his calves lightly. Yuuri looked down at him, puzzled. Victor continued the soothing motions, the physical contact he’d craved.

“It would have been a huge loss for the sport if you’d retired, Yuuri. And for me.” Yuuri looked at him open-mouthed.

“W- How can you say that?” he asked. “I...I’m not...” His voice trailed off.

“Because it’s true,” insisted Victor, his grip on Yuuri’s legs tightening as he leaned forward. “Because I’ve seen what you’re capable of, I can see what you might still be capable of. And I’m going to help you get there.”

“ _Victor,_ ” gasped Yuuri, reaching his hands down to him. Victor grasped both hands in his, but didn’t move from his spot kneeling at Yuuri’s feet. Yuuri’s eyes shined with unshed tears. Victor wanted to take him in his arms and kiss him, but he also wanted Yuuri to understand that what he was saying had nothing to do with his romantic feelings for him. Or very little to do with it, at least.

After a few moments, Yuuri reclaimed his hands and wiped at his eyes, sniffling a little. He seemed embarrassed by his emotion, so Victor looked down at the basin to give him some time. He tested the temperature of the water, which was approaching lukewarm.

“Okay, time to dry off,” he instructed brightly. He gathered the fluffy towel he’d brought into his lap, shifting the basin out of the way as Yuuri raised his feet from the water. Victor drew his feet into his lap, drying them gently with the towel. He handled Yuuri’s feet like they were made of fine porcelain, turning them this way and that to make sure he’d thoroughly dried them. He poked a couple of spots of broken skin to make sure no infection or dirt lingered. Yuuri winced at that, but didn’t complain.

When he was done, Yuuri’s feet rested on the towel in his lap. Victor ran his hands over the tops, avoiding sore spots, playing his fingers over Yuuri’s toes. Yuuri’s toenails were trimmed very short, as was necessary in skating, but the edges were slightly ragged and sharp against his hands.

“You need a pedicure,” Victor commented, looking up to Yuuri.

Yuuri wrinkled his face in disapproval. “What? Why?” Victor gaped back at him.

“Why? To take care of your feet! To keep your nails short and filed and clean. And because it’s nice to be pampered.” Yuuri continued to look skeptical.

“I wouldn’t...I couldn’t let a stranger touch my feet! They’re so ugly anyways.” Yuuri pulled his feet back, then, but Victor caught one before it left his lap.

“No they’re not!” he declared, and bent to kiss the top of Yuuri’s foot. Yuuri chuckled above him. Victor was struck with another idea. “Let _me_ give you a pedicure!”

“You?”

“Yes. I’m not a stranger. I have all my pedicure stuff in my room to keep my own feet in shape. And I can paint your toenails.” He looked up at Yuuri with a pleading expression. Yuuri shook his head in disbelief, but he was smiling. “I want to take care of you, Yuuri,” Victor elaborated.

“Fine, if you really want to,” he relented with an indulgent expression.

“Yes! I do!” Victor jumped up and hurried to his room, finding his tools and pausing to pick the perfect color from his stock of polish. He hadn’t brought a wide selection, only about a dozen colors. He decided on a shimmering teal. He knew Yuuri liked blue and cool colors from his wardrobe and past costumes. He also thought the other man might balk at bright pink or red.

He returned to Yuuri’s room and took up his seat on the floor, pulling Yuuri’s feet back into his lap.

“Wouldn’t you be more comfortable on the bed?” asked Yuuri.

“Nope. I’m fine here,” he answered. He set to work cleaning up Yuuri’s nails and cuticles, leaving his callouses and wounds untouched, of course. While he worked Yuuri went back to clicking around on his computer, putting some music on for background noise.

Victor sat back after applying the last coat of polish, stretching his shoulders.

“I told you it would be uncomfortable down there,” commented Yuuri.

“I’m fine,” he insisted, lying back on the rug.

“You can lie on the bed, you know,” said Yuuri.

“Only if you join me.” Victor raised an insinuating eyebrow. He moved to the bed, stretching out and clearly leaving a spot next to him empty. Yuuri sighed but walked carefully over, making an effort not to mar his polish.

When Yuuri had settled himself in place on the bed, Victor rolled half on top of him hastily and kissed him. It had been far too long since they’d kissed, probably a couple of hours at least. Yuuri opened up to him beautifully, seeming more relaxed than usual.

Victor tried to play to this relaxation, kissing him slowly and without demanding too much. He lost himself in the act, not thinking about anything, just reveling in the feel of Yuuri beneath him, his lips moving under his.

Eventually their pace increased, though, the intensity shifting. Tongues pressed with more force, hands clutched, hips shifted against each other. Yuuri slid a hand under the back of Victor’s shirt, fingers tracing up his spine. His other hand moved to tug the shirt off and Victor sat up to pull it over his head. He immediately returned to kissing Yuuri, though, who ran both of his hands up his bare spine.

Yuuri broke their kiss a moment later, his hands shifting around to press at Victor’s chest. Victor let himself be rolled onto his back, Yuuri coming with him to lie on top. Yuuri’s mouth covered his and he lost himself in the feel of being underneath his lover. Victor loved when Yuuri took control, being the focus of his attention. It made him feel wanted in a way he craved.

Victor tugged on his lover’s shirt, reveling in the feel of skin on skin once he’d successfully convinced him to remove it. Yuuri’s kisses trailed down from his mouth, over his jaw to his neck. He bit lightly at the side of Victor’s neck, before moving lower and sucking into the junction of his neck and shoulder.

“I want to leave a mark,” he whispered against Victor’s skin. Victor moaned.

“Do,” he said, moaning when Yuuri went back to sucking.

“What if someone sees it?” asked Yuuri, pausing in his attentions.

“I don’t mind,” he said breathily. Yuuri went back to work enthusiastically, sucking and biting down harder. Victor gasped, thrusting his hips up at the sensation, suddenly fully hard and aching.

After a time Yuuri lifted his head to study the results. “I want to mark you all over,” he whispered. “So anyone who sees you knows you’re _mine._ ” Victor whimpered.

“Yes,” he gasped. “Please.” He looked up at Yuuri, wanting the other man to see just how much he _was_ his. Yuuri looked thoughtful. “I’m yours, Yuuri,” he added.

“My what though?” asked Yuuri softly.

Victor looked at him for a moment, realizing it was a genuine question, and not flirtation. He thought. “Your lover?” he offered.

“Ye-es,” said Yuuri hesitantly.

“Your friend?” he tried.

Yuuri chuckled. “More than that.”

“Your boyfriend?” he hazarded. The word felt inadequate in many ways. But Yuuri beamed down at him.

“My boyfriend?” he asked, as if not believing it. Victor smiled back.

“Of course,” he said. “Does that surprise you, even after the last week?”

Yuuri blushed. “No. Sometimes it’s just hard to believe.” He bent down then, kissing Victor sweetly. This time the heat between them built back up more quickly, and soon they were thrusting against each other. Yuuri broke their kiss and latched onto Victor’s neck, about halfway between his shoulder and jaw. Victor writhed as he sucked a bruise into his flesh, thrilling at all the implications.

When Yuuri returned to Victor’s mouth, Victor slipped his hands down his back and under the elastic waistband of his pants. He clutched the hard muscle of Yuuri’s ass, pressing his erection down against his own. Yuuri groaned into his mouth and Victor tugged the pants further out of the way. Yuuri sat up to pull them off his feet and to remove Victor’s as well.

He climbed back on top of Victor, pressing their cocks together and gripping them with one hand while he returned to kissing Victor fiercely. Victor thrilled to it, thrusting up into his hand, savoring the feel of Yuuri’s hard length against his own, even as the friction was a bit too much.

“Do you have any lube in here?” he asked. Yuuri stilled and nodded, pushing off the bed and walking to his desk. There was something entrancing about watching him walk completely nude. Nude and aroused, Victor corrected. Yuuri bent over his desk, opened a drawer and took out a small zippered case from the back of the drawer. Hidden behind other items, Victor gathered from the way he dug around and shifted things.

Yuuri returned to the bed, sat, and unzipped the case. Inside was a small bottle of lube, about half empty, a few condoms, and...a small, purple sex toy. When Victor looked up at Yuuri, he saw the man’s face had gone red. Victor thought maybe his own had as well, which was ridiculous considering his own sizable collection of sex toys at home.

“Ah,” he said, reaching for the toy. Yuuri didn’t stop him, so he picked it up by the handle on the bottom. It was shaped like a small penis, considerably smaller than either of them. The buttons on the handle and the weight told him it was a vibrator. He pushed one of the two buttons and a buzzing started in his hand. Yuuri had turned his face entirely away from him. “It’s cute!” said Victor.

Yuuri looked back at him reluctantly. “I thought a smaller one would be better...to try...” Victor nodded. He turned off the toy and placed it back in the case.

“And you liked it?” He caught Yuuri’s hand and brought his knuckles up to his lips for a kiss. Yuuri nodded. Victor pulled Yuuri back against him, pulling him into a kiss. The stiffness melted out of Yuuri’s body slowly as they kissed. Soon Yuuri was pressing hungrily against him again, his flagging erection hard once more. As Yuuri thrust into him, Victor had a thought.

“Yuuri, _radost’moya_ , would you like to fuck me?” he asked. Yuuri looked at him, startled.

“I...” he began stumbling, “I thought you would … do me?”

Victor nodded. “I will, darling. I do want to, of course.” He pressed a kiss to Yuuri’s hand again. “But not tonight. You’ve had a hard training week and it’s not over yet. It would be better to wait, till you have a rest day coming. At least the first time.” He hoped Yuuri understood this wasn’t a rejection. Part of him also wanted Yuuri’s first time to be...a little more special than a rushed fumble in a cramped bed. He had some ideas about that.

Yuuri looked down at him in silence for a moment. Then he snickered. Victor didn’t know how to react to that. His expression must have conveyed his surprised because Yuuri laughed harder, breaking into actual giggles. “You...you would pick _now_ to become a responsible coach,” he said through giggles. Victor considered acting offended, but he couldn’t, so he joined in the laughter. He pulled Yuuri into his chest and squeezed him.

Their laughter trickled to a stop, ending with soft kisses and breathless gasps.

“Did you mean it?” asked Yuuri once things were quiet again.

“What, darling?”

“When you offered...”

“Oh. Yes. Yes, I’d love it,” Victor assured him. “The truth is I _love_ to bottom, Yuuri. I’ve been thinking about it since...well, alright for months honestly, but _especially_ since I saw your thick cock.”

Yuuri gasped and though Victor couldn’t see it from this angle, he was sure his boyfriend’s face was flushed. Victor ran his hands down Yuuri’s bare back, causing him to shiver.

“But I’ve never done it. I don’t know what I’m doing,” said Yuuri. Victor noted that wasn’t a refusal.

“It’s not _that_ complicated. I can guide you.” Victor paused, stroking him more. “We don’t have to, if you’re not ready. That’s fine. But I thought I’d ask, let you know it was an option.”

“Hmm,” Yuuri said, lips pressed against his skin. He shifted, pressing into Victor again, letting Victor feel his hardness. “Mmm,” he said again, shifting and pressing more forcefully, his cock sliding along the crevice where Victor’s thigh met his pelvis.

“You want to try?” asked Victor, sensing a shift in Yuuri’s movements. Yuuri bit his lip and nodded and Victor’s smile burst out across his face. “Great!” he said.

Yuuri looked down on him seriously. “What do I do first?” he whispered lowly. Victor’s breath caught, once again amazed at the sensuality Yuuri could display so suddenly.

“Well first you’ll need some lube,” he instructed, “and use one finger.” Yuuri nodded, reaching for the bottle and coating his fingers. Victor shifted as far up the bed as he could, lifting his knees and spreading his legs. “Wait,” he said, then pushed one of the bed pillows under his ass to lift him up. “Easier angle.”

Yuuri had his bottom lip back between his teeth, but otherwise he seemed calm. He reached slowly between Victor’s legs. Victor felt the touch of cold lube against his asshole, and hissed a bit. Yuuri’s hand jerked away, but Victor shook his head. “It was just cold. No problem.”

Yuuri blushed, but returned his finger to press against Victor. Victor made encouraging noises. Yuuri was doing fine, circling his opening and spreading the lube, pressing gently against the muscle to relax it.

“I’m used to being able to feel it,” Yuuri said. “To know when it’s okay and when it’s too much.”

“I’ll tell you if it’s not okay, if I need you to wait, alright?” said Victor. “You’re doing great. You can press in some more.” Yuuri pressed more firmly against him. “Just like that. More.” Victor felt Yuuri’s finger part the muscle and sink past, about an inch inside him. “Mmm, yeah.”

“Okay?” asked Yuuri.

“Mmm-hmm. It’s fine. You can keep going.” Yuuri pressed his finger further inside, sliding pretty smoothly. Without Victor needing to instruct him, he started moving his finger out and back in, causing Victor to moan softly.

“Now?” Yuuri asked.

“Now, you can add a finger. Or you could use that vibrator, if you’d rather.” The size of it wasn’t more than two fingers, though being round it would work a bit better at stretching him.

Yuuri looked indecisive. “Is it ok? The toy, I mean.”

“To use now? Yeah, it should be, with some lube.” Yuuri removed his finger from Victor with a slick noise, reaching for the toy. He coated it well with more lube from the bottle and then looked back to Victor for permission.

Victor nodded and the felt the smooth head of the toy against him. The pressure increased, then the head popped through, causing Victor to gasp a bit from the sudden stretch.

“Okay?”

“Yeah, just...wait a second.” Yuuri nodded and Victor took a couple breaths while his body adjusted. “Okay, go ahead.” The toy pressed into him slowly, but steadily. The material was super smooth and velvety and Victor made a sound of pleasure as it slid deeper. Yuuri pressed forward until the base of the toy rested against him, then drew it back out just as slowly. “Mmm, that’s good, Yuuri.”

“You want me to turn it on?” asked Yuuri as he pushed it back.

“No, actually.” Victor saw Yuuri’s question on his face. “That’s nice for when you’re alone, but it...sort of deadens you, I think. I want to feel you when you fuck me.” Yuuri’s expression at that flickered through shock and embarrassment and into something Victor thought it would be fair to call lust. He smiled hungrily up at his lover, who increased the speed of the toy pressing in and out of him.

Victor let himself relax into the feel of the toy moving within him. Knowing Yuuri was controlling it thrilled him, made him eager to move things along. Yuuri seemed to feel similarly, because he was increasing the toy’s movements both in speed and force. Victor moaned in appreciation.

“That’s good,” he said a moment later. “That should be enough.”

“You’re ready?” Yuuri’s voice sounded a bit shaky. Victor nodded.

“If you are. It’s alright if you’re not.” Yuuri smiled at him.

“No, I want you,” he said. Yuuri took a deep breath and then carefully withdrew the toy from Victor, who was left with a hollow feeling.

“Let’s switch places. I’ll be on top,” Victor suggested. “It’ll be easier for you if I’m in control.” Yuuri exhaled, relief spreading across his face. Victor pulled him down into a kiss before flipping them around in a confusion of limbs.

Victor let Yuuri get comfortable and then reached for a condom. He tore open the packet and unrolled the condom over Yuuri’s erection. He briefly wondered if Yuuri had even used one before, and what it meant that he had some ready to hand. But that thought flitted from his mind in a flash, as the full import of what was about to happen hit him. He kissed Yuuri gently.

Victor swung a leg over Yuuri’s torso, kneeling over him. He stroked a hand down the side of Yuuri’s face to soothe him. Yuuri was looking up at him with something like wonder, mixed with anxious anticipation. Victor licked his lips, reaching behind him to grasp Yuuri’s cock.

He shifted backwards, pressing against the blunt tip of Yuuri’s cock, biting his lip against the sting of the initial intrusion. Yuuri gripped Victor’s thighs, fingers digging in as his cock pressed into the tight circle of muscle. Victor pushed back steadily, and then slipped a few inches back all at once as the head cleared the opening. He gave a small grunt and Yuuri gasped under him. Victor smiled down at him, bringing his hands to Yuuri’s shoulders to brace himself.

Victor sank back carefully, taking things slower than he might have otherwise. He didn’t want to concern Yuuri, wanted him to be able to relax. Victor started shifting himself back and forth, taking Yuuri deeper into him with each movement. Yuuri’s mouth had fallen open in a silent cry, and Victor watched his reactions closely.

“I love that I get to see your reaction to this for the first time,” he whispered. Yuuri blushed, but his self-consciousness fell away quickly when Victor thrust back sharply. He bottomed out, Yuuri’s cock fully seated inside him. “God, Yuuri, you feel so good,” he said, shifting his hips a little to feel the stretch in new places.

“So do you, Vitya,” said Yuuri softly, his eyes closed for the moment. Victor leaned down, suppressing a gasp as his movement shifted the cock inside him. He covered Yuuri’s lips with his in an open-mouthed kiss. He started to move as the kiss continued, swallowing Yuuri’s gasps. Yuuri was thrusting up into him now, shallowly, and Victor couldn’t help increasing the pace.

Victor broke the kiss breathlessly and sat up, driving Yuuri deep inside him again. He started riding him in earnest, clasping hands with Yuuri to help his balance.

Victor wanted to keep his focus on Yuuri’s experience, on watching his lover’s pleasure, but very soon he felt so good, he could only throw his head back and keep riding. He arched his back, hands moving to his own thighs, pressing back against Yuuri’s bent knees. Victor pressed down hard and cried out as Yuuri’s cock hit his prostate. He drove himself onto the thick shaft relentlessly, the pressure against the bundle of nerves inside him almost painful. He suddenly realized he was very close to orgasm, and opened his eyes to check on Yuuri.

Yuuri looked different than Victor had ever seen him. He was sweating, face red, expression desperate. He looked completely un-self-conscious.

“Vitya,” he moaned, making Victor’s heart clench, “I’m close.” Victor kept moving, a little more shallowly than he had been.

“Me, too,” he whispered, and guided Yuuri’s hand to his cock, which was already weeping steadily. Yuuri enthusiastically pumped him, and Victor leaned back and thrust down hard. His orgasm exploded through him, his cock shooting over Yuuri’s hand, splattering his chest. Victor sobbed as his body continued to move, each stroke of Yuuri’s cock inside him setting off new bursts of fire inside him. His movements were jerky, involuntary, and he was shuddering hard, collapsing forward over Yuuri. To his surprise, he felt tears leaking from his eyes, rolling down his already overheated face.

He almost missed the moment Yuuri came. Yuuri thrust hard up into him, mouth open, fingers digging into Victor’s forearms. Victor only realized what was happening when Yuuri continued thrusting up in short, sharp movements. Victor held still above him until the jerky movements ceased and Yuuri went limp under him. Then he allowed himself to collapse onto his chest, face buried in Yuuri’s hair.

They shivered and shuddered, their chests heaving together in counterpoint. After a minute, Victor carefully lifted off Yuuri’s cock, rolling off him and onto his back. They lay there stunned for a minute, staring up at the ceiling together.

Yuuri removed the condom and looked at Victor and then at the box of tissues on his desk across the room.

“Nope, I’m not moving. You’ve killed me, I’m dead. Never moving again,” said Victor, not able to keep the smile off his face as he spoke. Yuuri sighed, but clambered over Victor.

“Bring me some though.” Yuuri turned to glare at him, but Victor felt entirely justified. He also felt entirely boneless, sweat cooling on his skin, muscles warm from exertion. Yuuri did bring him tissues and Victor generously moved over so he didn’t have to climb over again.

Once they were slightly less sticky and damp, Victor drew Yuuri in close to him and wrapped as much of his body around him as possible. Yuuri gave a grunt of complaint, but didn’t actually try to pull away. Victor ran a hand through Yuuri’s hair. His heart was full of things he wanted to say, but words failed him.

Finally, because he couldn’t stand the silence anymore, he asked, “How was that?” Yuuri shifted against him, his lips pressing against Victor’s chest.

“Good,” he said, and Victor felt his lips move against his skin.

“Yeah?”

“Mmm-hmm.”

“Sure?” Victor wasn’t sure he liked that Yuuri was hiding his face from him. If that’s what he was doing.

“Very,” said Yuuri more clearly. Victor traced down from Yuuri’s hair to his chin and lifted the other man gently until he could see him. He was relieved to see Yuuri’s face looked happy and open. Radiantly happy, in fact. Victor pulled him into a kiss, forcing all his relief into it.

When they parted Yuuri settled his head on Victor’s shoulder in a more relaxed posture. After a moment he asked, “Was it good for you?”

Victor chuckled softly. “You couldn’t tell?” He felt Yuuri give a shrug.

“You asked me. _You_ couldn’t tell?” Yuuri traced patterns into Victor’s chest with one finger.

“I..it’s different. It was your first time. I wanted to make sure it was...okay.”

“More than okay,” said Yuuri, and Victor grinned at the ceiling. They held each other in silence for a minute.

“I’m glad it was you,” said Yuuri quietly. “My first time, I mean.”

Victor pulled Yuuri to him tightly, rolling to face him so they could be closer. Yuuri huffed out a breath at being squeezed, but Victor couldn’t let him go just yet. He buried his face into Yuuri’s neck, his hair tickling Victor’s eyes and nose.

“I love you,” he whispered, without knowing he was going to. Yuuri gasped softly, Victor hearing it because he was so close.

“ _Victor._ ” Yuuri pushed his hands into Victor’s chest, and Victor reluctantly loosened his embrace. Yuuri kept pushing until Victor was almost flat on his back. Yuuri surged forward, claiming his lips. Victor enjoyed the feel of Yuuri kissing him with such excitement. Yuuri placed a multitude of kisses on his lips in a rapid-fire series.

When he was finally done he pulled back and looked down at Victor. “I love you, too. Of course.” Victor felt tears stinging his eyes and wondered at it. He opened his mouth to speak, but the lump in his throat choked him, so he pulled Yuuri back against him.

“You’re too far away,” he managed to mumble.

Yuuri pressed a kiss to the underside of Victor’s chin. “No, I’m not,” he said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Skating! Pampering! (coughfootfetishcough) Sex! 
> 
> Next time: More skating and skating-related plot! Yuuko! Shenanigans at the Ice Castle!
> 
> Also, if you didn't see it, I published a story last week that is the first part of a new series. So check it out! It's an alternate version of the banquet and the aftermath. I think y'all will like it: [Strangers to Love](http://archiveofourown.org/works/11177988/chapters/24954768)
> 
> I live for comments.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuuri and Victor work on Yuuri's free program, and Yuuko isn't blind.

Yuuri woke in the darkness of his bedroom, Victor curled against him. He smiled at the memory of their earlier lovemaking, remembering Victor’s expression as he rode him. Victor slept soundly beside him. Yuuri got up carefully to make a trip to the bathroom. On his way back to the bed he stopped at his computer to turn off his music player that was still playing softly. He saw he had a new email from his composer friend. He sat to open it eagerly. 

He skimmed the text of the email, excited to see it contained the song file. He opened it and let it play with the volume down low. He sat stock still while the track played in its entirety. 

When it finished he rushed over to the bed and knelt on the edge. 

“Victor,” he called softly. No response. He shook the other man awake.

“Huh?” Victor looked half confused and half annoyed.

“Victor! The music! It came! You have to hear.” Without waiting for a response or comprehension, Yuuri turned and went back to his computer, turning up the volume and pressing play. He hurried back over to the bed so he could watch Victor’s reaction. 

Victor listened for a few seconds attentively and then a smile spread slowly onto his face. He locked eyes with Yuuri and nodded. Yuuri beamed back at him and they listened to the rest of the piece in silence, Yuuri curling back up next to his lover.

“It’s perfect,” said Victor softly when the song was done. 

“You think so?” asked Yuuri. He loved the piece, it was beautiful, but… “I...I don’t know if it’s _me._ ”

“What do you mean? You don’t like it?” Victor sounded surprised.

“No, I love it. Just...it was supposed to be about me and...I don’t know if _that_ is _me._ ” From Victor’s expression he wasn’t explaining himself well.

“It doesn’t feel like you?”

“It...it seems too good to be me,” Yuuri finished in a small voice. He knew how Victor would react to this. And Yuuri knew that he tended to be harder on himself than others were. But he also knew how often he’d failed; how disappointing his skating had always been in comparison to how he wanted it to be.

Victor sighed and didn’t say anything for a moment. “Yuuri,” he said finally. “What can I do to get you to stop tearing yourself down?” Yuuri was quiet. 

“How else can I ever get good?” he asked seriously.

“Being critical is part of improving, you’re right.” Victor shifted so he was lying on his side, looking directly at Yuuri. Yuuri fought back the urge to turn away, to hide his face or not meet his eyes. “But so is knowing when you do something right. When you’re good at something. You have to learn to judge your own performance accurately and honestly, or you won’t get past where you’re at now.”

Yuuri nodded. It...did make sense. “How do I do that?”

Victor shrugged a little. “Do you believe me? When I criticize your skating, tell you something you did wrong, do you believe me?”

“Yeah.”

“Well do you believe me when I compliment your skating?” Yuuri thought about it. He lived for Victor’s compliments, though they were less frequent than his criticism. He burned with pride when Victor complimented his skating, but he didn’t pay as much attention to them as his criticisms. After all, it wasn’t as important to focus on things he did well.

“I...yes.”

“Good. Then listen to me, and if you find yourself disagreeing with my assessment then...maybe I’m the one who is right?” Yuuri laughed.

“That _would_ be your conclusion,” he said dryly. 

“I am your coach,” said Victor with a pout, but his eyes smiled and he bent over Yuuri to kiss him. “We’re going to create an amazing free program for you. You’ll see how good you can be.”

 

~~~~~

 

“So what do you want your free program to say?” asked Victor the next day at the rink. “The piece is about your career, right? What’s your theme?”

“I… ‘On my love.’” Victor looked at him for a beat, his eyes shining. 

“That’s the best theme there is.” The moment was heavy between them, until Victor turned back to the paper in front of him. 

“So we want this piece to capture...you.” He looked into the distance for a moment, then turned back to Yuuri. Yuuri was caught off guard by his look; he’d been musing on the beauty of Victor’s profile. “What have you always wanted your skating to look like? What have you reached for, but fallen short of?”

Yuuri sucked in a breath. _You,_ he thought. Victor was watching him intently. He couldn’t say that. Not that Victor didn’t know. Didn’t know he’d idolized him, wanted to skate like him. Yuuri looked away from Victor, turning towards the ice and resting his elbows on the boards. He _had_ always wanted to be able to skate like Victor, and had always felt himself fall short. But at the same time he knew he didn’t want to be a pale imitation. This program should reflect himself. If only he knew who that was.

He flicked his eyes to Victor, who was watching him but didn’t look impatient. Yuuri turned back to the ice, remembering the first time he’d seen Victor on TV. Remembering the moment he’d fallen in love with his skating. And he remembered skating Victor’s program here, on this ice, months ago. 

“Grace,” he said suddenly. He looked to Victor and there was _something_ in the man’s eyes, but Yuuri couldn’t define it. Yuuri thought some more. Skating Victor’s programs had always made him feel...graceful. And beautiful, in a way he never had other times. If Victor could do that for him now, in something that was truly _his_ … 

“Grace and beauty,” he said, looking back at his coach. “That’s what I could never find.” Victor looked at him, head cocked slightly. He stared at Yuuri for a long moment. His expression shaded from puzzled to sad as Yuuri became more uncomfortable under his gaze, and eventually looked down.

He didn’t look up when Victor took two steps towards him, and Victor had to use two fingers to tilt his chin up so he met his eyes again. “You have beauty, Yuuri. So much beauty.” His thumb traced along Yuuri’s jaw lightly. “And grace. You have the capacity to skate with more beauty and grace than any other skater I know.” 

Yuuri shuddered and pulled back automatically, wincing when Victor frowned. His thoughts whirled. Victor had asked him the night before to believe him when he gave him a compliment, but this felt...like too much.

He knew Victor wasn’t mocking him. He wouldn’t do that. And Yuuri didn’t think he would lie to him. Was he...just wrong? Was he...blind? Blinded by his feelings, his attraction for Yuuri maybe? Victor thought he was attractive, thought he was beautiful, Yuuri was pretty sure he meant that when he said it. Was that what this was? 

“Yuuri?” Victor’s voice broke in on his whirl of emotions, sounding confused. “Are you ok? Did I...upset you?” Yuuri looked back at him, not knowing how to answer. “I don’t understand; can you explain what you’re thinking, please, Yuuri?”

Yuuri breathed, Victor’s question centering him. “I find that hard to believe,” he said finally. Victor frowned.

“That you skate with grace and beauty? Yuuri, I wouldn’t say it if I didn’t mean it.” Victor studied him. “I guess it’s true not all your programs have emphasized it, and sometimes your jumps get in your way. But when you _do_ skate clean, it’s breathtaking, Yuuri.” 

A lump formed in Yuuri’s throat. He tried to speak, to thank Victor, but he couldn’t so he looked back at the ice. 

“Do you really not know that?” asked Victor. “Do you really think I’m here...coaching you...why would I be here if I didn’t think you were extraordinary?” Yuuri’s eyes flicked to Victor. A possibility occurred to him, not for the first time.

“Well, the banquet...”

“Yuuri.” Victor’s voice was low, chiding. “I thought we talked about this. That...ok, yes, the fact that I found you incredibly attractive and wanted to see you again played a part in my decision. But I didn’t even consider taking you up on your request to coach you until I saw that video of you skating.”

“Skating _your_ program,” Yuuri interrupted.

“Yes, my program. A program I know extremely well. You looked better skating my program than you looked skating many of your own. That’s not the only video I watched that day, Yuuri. I watched every program I could find of yours on You Tube. I watched you skate badly and well. Good programs and terrible ones. So I know what I’m talking about when I tell you what you’re capable of, ok?”

Yuuri gave a small sob under his breath. “Victor,” he managed to get out, and then he stepped into Victor’s arms, which came around him without hesitation. He squeezed his eyes shut and pressed his face into Victor’s shoulder.

“Shh, _radost’moya_ , you have to believe me when I say these things, ok? I don’t know how you’ve gotten this far without knowing how good you are.”

“Never good enough,” Yuuri mumbled rebelliously.

“No, none of us ever are, are we?” 

They stood wrapped up in each other for a couple of minutes, until Yuuri’s threatening tears had receded. He left Victor by the boards to skate out onto the ice, stretching his legs and letting the flow of his movement settle him. When he glanced at Victor, he was busy writing, head down. Soon Victor started the music of the program, and Yuuri adjusted his skating to match it, running through bits of past routines, mostly transitions and step sequences. He moved into a spin in time with the music and heard Victor shout to him in approval. Yuuri smiled fiercely as he moved out of the spin into a lazy arc that took him close to Victor. He looked up at his coach, his lover, his boyfriend, and basked in the smile he turned to Yuuri. 

“This is going to be a great program,” said Victor, reaching out to grasp Yuuri’s hands, steadying him. 

After that Victor sent Yuuri to the weight room while he worked on skating through his ideas for elements on his own. Yuuri left him to it, much as he wanted to watch Victor’s process. He trusted Victor and knew what he came up with would be astounding. 

While Yuuri was working out, Yuuko came in to chat. Usually it was Takeshi who spotted Yuuri if he needed it. 

“Sooo, Yuuri,” began Yuuko. She stopped and seemed to be waiting for a response. Yuuri continued his reps, grunting a bit with the effort.

“What?” he asked finally when she didn’t continue.

“You and Victor...” she trailed off again. This time Yuuri flinched a bit. 

“Yes?” he tried, not sure how to respond.

“Don’t give me that,” she returned sharply. “I _saw_ you two!” Yuuri let the weights down and sat down for a rest, wiping the sweat from his face.

“What? The hug?” he asked, thinking of their embrace near the rink a short time before.

Yuuko laughed. “No, I’m talking about the passionate kissing you two were doing yesterday. On the ice! It’s not like you were being sneaky. Plus you have a big hickey on your neck.”

“Oh,” said Yuuri, slapping a hand over the side of his throat, and thinking back to the day before. He hadn’t even thought of it at the time. “Well, yeah, we’re...together.”

“Yuuri! For how long?? Why didn’t you tell me?” Yuuko glared at him. 

“Umm, I dunno. Since last weekend.” Yuuri shrugged. 

“Are you...ok?” she asked, voice softer.

“Yeah, of course. What do you mean?”

“Well, just, you’ve been in love with him _forever_ and now he’s here and...” Yuuko nibbled on a nail. “He’s treating you ok, right?”

“Yuu-ko,” complained Yuuri. “Come on, it’s Victor! You know him by now.” 

“No, I know, he’s nice, but I just worry about you. You...you deserve someone who will be good to you. And I know Victor means well, but if he’s just having some fun...” She looked like she wanted to say more, but Yuuri was glaring at her.

“He...” Yuuri stopped. He really didn’t want to talk about this with anyone. It was why he hadn’t wanted his family or friends to find out yet. He didn’t like thinking about this too closely. Things with Victor were so amazing, so beyond his wildest dreams, and he was afraid if he examined it too closely, it might disappear. Or he might mess it up.

“It’s still new,” he said finally.

“Ok,” replied Yuuko. “So you’re taking things slow?”

“Umm, not really slow...no.” Yuuri chuckled and blushed. Yuuko squealed a little behind her hands.

“You mean you already...” She looked delighted in spite of her earlier concerns.

“Oh, yeah,” said Yuuri, unable to keep his face straight. Yuuko squealed again, then launched herself at him and hugged him. Yuuri initially stiffened, then hugged her back.

“Just take care of yourself, ok?” she said next to his ear.

“Yeah. It’s...it’s really good, Yuuko.” 

Yuuri could hear the smile in Yuuko’s voice as she replied. “Good. Just tell him if he breaks your heart I’m going to kick his ass.” Yuuri laughed.

As they separated, Yuuri heard movement in the doorway, and looked up to see Victor entering. He saw the two of them and hesitated.

“Am I interrupting?” he asked. Yuuri shook his head and Yuuko stood and left them to themselves, passing by Victor with a significant look in his direction on her way.

Victor turned to watch her leave. “What was that about?” he wondered.

Yuuri smiled and shook his head. “She said if you break my heart she’ll kick your ass.” Victor’s face went pink, and Yuuri was momentarily distracted by staring at him. 

“Oh. So she noticed, then.”

“Yup.”

“You okay with that?”

Yuuri shrugged. “Yeah. I...I wasn’t looking forward to this conversation with every person who finds out. But I guess it didn’t go so badly.”

“What conversation exactly?” asked Victor. “Or, I mean, you don’t have to tell me everything you said, but I just want to understand...what bothers you? In people knowing?”

Yuuri sighed. “I think my family already knows. Mari at least.”

“Yeah, I think you’re right.” Yuuri looked up. 

“Have they said anything to you?”

Victor shook his head. “No. Mari gave me some weird looks yesterday. But I was talking about soaking your feet so that could be why. Also someone left a large hickey on my neck last night.”

“Oh.” Yuuri thought for a moment. “I just don’t want to have to explain...us. Over and over. I guess.” 

Victor came over and sat next to Yuuri on the bench. He wrapped an arm around Yuuri’s shoulder. “It’s not complicated,” he said. “Right? Just tell them we’re boyfriends.”

Yuuri leaned into Victor. “Yeah, I guess.” He felt Victor stiffen next to him a little, his arm sliding further around Yuuri and rubbing up and down Yuuri’s arm.

Yuuri turned to face Victor, pulling back a little. He cupped his lover’s face in his hand and tipped it up so their eyes met. Yuuri’s breath caught at what he saw there. Because what he saw was uncertainty. Anxiety. 

Victor looked scared. 

“Victor?” he asked, softly. Victor closed his eyes, as if he knew what Yuuri had seen and wanted to hide. “Are _you_ ok?”

Victor opened his eyes and smiled brightly. “Of course,” he said. Yuuri’s stomach flipped. He realized he’d seen that expression before. A lot of times before. That was the expression Victor used for cameras, for magazine shoots, for the reporters at press conferences. And Yuuri suddenly realized: it was fake.

He brought his other hand up to cup Victor’s face between both hands. The fake smile slipped from Victor’s face, leaving him looking vulnerable. Yuuri leaned forward and kissed Victor softly, feeling a puff of air against his lips. Yuuri pulled back and looked into his eyes.

“Vitya, do _you_ want everyone to know we’re together now?” As Yuuri said it, he saw the answer in Victor’s eyes. Yes. Victor’s nod a moment later was almost superfluous. Yuuri smiled.

“Ok, then. We’ll tell them.”

Victor swallowed. “Just like that?” Yuuri shrugged.

“Sure. If it would make you happy.” Yuuri felt he would have done anything at that moment to make Victor happy, to make him feel loved. Yuuri was shaken by his glimpse of Victor’s insecurities, but he pushed his own worries aside for the moment. 

Yuuri leaned in and kissed Victor again, and this time the other man kissed him back, hungrily. Yuuri let himself be lost and overwhelmed by the other man’s sudden passion. Victor kissed him like a man dying of thirst reaching for a taste of water. Victor’s arms wrapped tightly around him, pulling Yuuri close. Yuuri found himself pulled into Victor’s lap, awkwardly straddling him with one leg bent behind him. 

Victor’s kisses and caresses awoke an answering hunger in Yuuri and soon they were both pressing into one another, trying to get closer even though it was impossible. Victor was clutching at Yuuri’s ass, grinding their growing erections together. Yuuri broke away from Victor’s mouth with a gasp, and Victor pressed his mouth to Yuuri’s throat, sucking the skin right under his jaw. Yuuri shivered and suppressed a moan.

“Victor! There’s not even a door!” he complained, trying to pull away from his boyfriend a little. Victor held him in place firmly.

“Don’t care. It’s after hours and the Nishagoris know anyway, right?” Victor tried to capture Yuuri’s lips again, but Yuuri dodged to the side.

“Yes, but there’s knowing and then there’s someone walking in on us fucking in the weight room,” he said, exasperated. 

“So,” said Victor, digging his fingers into Yuuri’s ass again. “There’s going to be fucking?” Yuuri groaned with frustration (and a little with arousal.) 

“Not here, Vitya,” he said firmly. Victor stopped placing kisses along Yuuri’s neck and looked up at him seriously for a moment. 

“Ok,” he said, and released his grip on Yuuri. Yuuri sighed with relief and stood up awkwardly. He adjusted his erection a little to allow himself to walk. He was taken by surprise when Victor grabbed his hand and pulled him from the weight room, in the opposite direction from the rink. He laughed a little at Victor’s apparent eagerness to leave. 

Victor pulled him into the locker room where they left their bags while they practiced, but instead of fetching their things Victor didn’t slow, pulling Yuuri past the lockers and towards a door at the rear of the room.

“Wait, Victor,” Yuuri tried, but Victor ignored him. He pushed the door to the small shower facility open and pulled Yuuri through. As soon as Yuuri was through the door, Victor pressed the door to and flipped the lock. 

“I _thought_ this door locked,” he said, pleased. They never used the showers at the rink, of course, preferring to wait and use the onsen.

“Vitya, are you serious?” asked Yuuri, but Victor didn’t answer, just pushed him against the wall and kissed him fiercely. Victor drove a thigh between Yuuri’s legs, and Yuuri couldn’t help thrusting against it. 

“I can’t wait. I need you,” said Victor lowly into Yuuri’s ear. Yuuri whimpered, losing himself to the throbbing need between his legs and the purring seduction of Victor’s voice. “Besides, you’re the one with fantasies about me blowing you in an ice rink, right?”

Yuuri spluttered at that. He opened his mouth to respond, but Victor was already dropping to his knees, his hands stroking Yuuri’s hardness through his skating gear. Yuuri looked down at Victor, who was looking back up at him. Yuuri trembled slightly at how beautiful Victor looked, slightly rumpled and flushed, looking up at Yuuri from his position on one knee as if in worship.

Yuuri couldn’t make himself speak, though he tried to say Victor’s name. So he reached a hand out and stroked his silver hair, pushing some of it away from Victor’s face. Slowly, Victor pulled on Yuuri’s waistband, easing his pants and underwear down just enough to free his cock. Victor made a pleased noise before taking it in his mouth, his eyes closing as he began to suck. 

Yuuri groaned and let his head fall back against the cold tile wall. Victor was working him enthusiastically, not looking to draw things out. Yuuri felt overwhelmed with the sensations almost at once, realizing just how good Victor could make this when he really tried. Victor used his tongue, his hand, his lips, the roof of his mouth, the back of his throat, all together, all seemingly designed to short-circuit Yuuri’s ability to process what was happening to him. 

It took a little while for Yuuri to realize his hand was still in Victor’s hair, and he was gripping tightly. He wasn’t directing Victor’s movements, though, just hanging on for the ride, trying to steady himself. His other hand pressed into the wall behind him; he felt like if he lost focus he would fall. 

As his pleasure grew, Yuuri’s hips thrust more and more forward, without his conscious direction. Victor moaned in response, his motions stilling a bit, letting Yuuri thrust into his mouth. Yuuri gripped his hair tighter, holding his head still so he could fuck more confidently into Victor. Victor seemed fine with this, and Yuuri noticed Victor had shifted his posture. He then realized Victor was rhythmically pumping his arm. And Yuuri looked down to see Victor stroking his own cock furiously. The sight of that send a bolt of electricity through Yuuri. He loved the thought that he had made Victor so desperate, that Victor couldn’t wait for his release any longer. 

“That’s it,” Yuuri whispered as he fucked faster into Victor’s mouth. Victor whimpered around his cock. “I’m getting so close, Vitya. I’m going to come down your throat soon. Are you getting close?” Victor moaned again, his hand picking up even more speed, his eyes wide and desperate. 

Victor hollowed his cheeks, sucking hard at Yuuri’s cock, and Yuuri thrust as far into his throat as he could. Victor made a choking sound, but recovered when Yuuri pulled back so he thrust forward again. And this time when his cock hit the back of Victor’s throat his orgasm hit and he convulsed, shooting into his mouth.

Yuuri intended to pull Victor up to him and finish him off, but before he can even withdraw his cock from Victor’s mouth his lover shuddered under him. Yuuri looked down in time to see him spill over his hand and onto the floor at Yuuri’s feet. 

Victor sat back carefully and Yuuri shifted to one side before collapsing next to him on the floor. They breathed heavily together, shooting smiles in each other’s direction. 

“I can’t believe we did this,” said Yuuri into the silence. “What if Yuuko and Takeshi came looking for us? What if they know?” Another thought occurred to him. “Or what if they thought we left and locked us in for the night?” 

Victor just laughed. “It hasn’t been that long,” he pointed out. “We could have been stretching or cooling down or anything.”

“Yes, because we always lock ourselves in small rooms to stretch,” he retorted, but Yuuri calmed down slightly. If Victor didn’t think it was a problem, maybe he was over-reacting. 

Victor was tucking himself back in to his clothing. “I need to get something to clean up the floor,” he said, moving towards the door. Yuuri hastily pulled himself to his feet and pulled his clothing back into place. Victor unlocked the door and peeked around it before sliding through. He returned a few seconds later with a hand towel which he used to clean up his mess. They grabbed their things from the lockers, Victor stashing the towel in his bag, and left the locker room.

The closer they got to the entrance the more Yuuri felt a sickening feeling in his stomach. He desperately hoped they could avoid having to face Yuuko or Takeshi. He was sure they would _know_ what he and Victor had been doing. He lagged significantly behind Victor, his reluctance slowing his steps. 

But when they got to the front counter, Yuuko was busy typing on her computer, and Victor called ‘goodnight’ to her casually as he passed. Yuuko waved and bid them both goodbye. And then Yuuri was in the open air and he could hardly believe they’d gotten away with it. Victor grabbed his bike and walked it down the stairs and onto the sidewalk. 

Yuuri still felt a bit shaky, though he wasn’t sure if it was from the orgasm or his fear of being caught. When they reached the bridge over the water, he gestured to the concrete barrier and sat down on it. Victor propped up the bike and sat next to him. 

“Everything ok?” he asked. Yuuri nodded. 

“Just wanted to sit for a minute. I’m still…” He held out his hand to show it trembling slightly. 

“Oh,” said Victor. He paused. “Is that good or bad?”

“Mmm, good? Mostly.” He shrugged. Yuuri took a deep breath and let it out slowly. He felt a smile break across his face as he considered what they’d just done. “You’re a terrible influence,” he said, teasing. 

Victor chuckled and seemed to relax. “No, it’s definitely your fault for being so irresistible.” 

Yuuri leaned against Victor, relaxing his head to rest on his shoulder. Victor draped an arm around Yuuri’s waist. It felt new to sit like this, in public. It was a little thrilling to Yuuri, in fact. 

“I’ve never done this before,” he commented. “I mean, I don’t know, just been a couple with someone, in public.” 

“Really?” asked Victor lightly. 

“Well, definitely not here, in Hasetsu. Maybe a couple times in Detroit. But not with anyone I really...cared about.”

“Are you uncomfortable?” Yuuri shook his head.

“No.” He slid an arm around Victor’s waist. “No, I’m very comfortable,” he said, nuzzling into Victor’s shoulder. They sat that way together watching the sun set behind Hasetsu castle until Yuuri felt his muscles start stiffening. They got up and continued on their way reluctantly.

~~~~~

When they got to Yu-topia, Yuuri wondered if he would be able to keep his promise to Victor quickly and tell his whole family about their relationship in one go. But it was the dinner hour and his mother and Mari were busy with several guest diners. 

So Yuuri and Victor grabbed a bite from the kitchen and ate quickly before bathing. 

Once they had lowered themselves into the steaming water of the onsen, Yuuri looked at Victor and considered for a moment. Victor was a short distance away to his right, his eyes slitted in pleasure at the heat. Yuuri decided his lover was too far away. He slid through the water and pressed against Victor’s side. 

Victor made a soft surprised sound, but his arm circled Yuuri’s waist almost instantly. Yuuri tilted his head and relaxed it against Victor’s with a sigh of contentment. Victor squeezed his waist and tilted his head to rest on top of Yuuri’s. They sat like that in peace until the heat got to be too much and it was time to leave. 

“Vitya?” Yuuri said, stopping the other man as he started rising from the water. Victor looked at him, his head tilted in inquiry. Yuuri pulled on Victor’s arm until they were close again. “I love you,” he said softly, smiling. Yuuri saw Victor’s reaction first in his eyes, which lit up and then in the spread of his mouth into a wide, open grin. 

“Yuuri!” Victor exclaimed, throwing his arms around him and squeezing hard. Yuuri grunted as the air was pressed from his lungs but it turned into a laugh. Soon, though, he tugged at Victor’s arms to get him to relax his grip. 

“Victor! I need to breathe, you know.” Victor released him but cupped his face in both hands and kissed him thoroughly. Yuuri kissed back with only a slight hesitation. He hadn’t meant this to turn into quite such a display of affection where anyone might walk in. He pulled back when Victor didn’t seem likely to stop any time soon.

“Yuuri, I love you, too.” Victor was still holding him in place and beaming at him. Yuuri smiled, laughing at little at how easy it was to make Victor look this happy. 

“Come on,” he said fondly. “Let’s hurry upstairs.” He tried for a suggestive look with that, and it must have worked well enough because Victor was up and out of the onsen in an instant, pulling Yuuri behind him. 

They dried off quickly and headed out of the baths and up the stairs. Victor was still pulling Yuuri by the hand, and Yuuri was almost tripping, both of them giggling. As he grabbed at Victor’s shoulder to keep from falling Yuuri noticed movement from below. It was Mari standing behind the counter watching them. Her expression was impossible to read, so Yuuri just shrugged at her and followed Victor up.

He knew he should probably explain their relationship to his family, but he thought he might not have to if he put it off much longer. It was surely obvious what was going on. And he wasn’t going to hide it anymore, or feel embarrassed by his feelings. 

He followed Victor into his room and let himself be pulled down onto the bed on top of him. He leaned down and kissed Victor thoroughly, enjoying the feel of the other man’s body beneath him. He could feel each shiver and shudder that passed through Victor and thrilled to know he was the cause. Yuuri decided he could get addicted to this feeling. He settled in for a long session of making Victor squirm.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That may be the first time I've ever faded to black for a sex scene. But you got an Ice Castle blow job! 
> 
> Next time: It's the day before a rest day. Hmm, what could that mean?
> 
> Please come yell at me on [Tumblr](http://kimthreerings.tumblr.com/), or just follow me so you know when I post the new, super smutty fic I wrote instead of finishing this one. 
> 
> Thank you for continuing to read and leave feedback! It truly motivates me to keep working on this.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuuri's family reacts to his relationship with Victor. Victor has plans for Yuuri.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 10 chapters later and it's only been a WEEK since the beginning of the fic. Can you believe it? Yeah, me either, but I did the math. I'm just going to say that relationships can grow very quickly and every moment feels important in the first days of a passionate romance. That sounds valid, right?

Victor woke early on Friday morning. Yuuri was snoring quietly at his back and Makkachin had claimed the space on the other side of Victor. He lifted his head with a hopeful expression when he saw Victor was awake. Victor smiled and scritched his head. Then he sat up and prodded Makkachin until he moved so he could get up. 

Victor grabbed some clothes quietly and went down the hall to the ballroom to get ready. Makkachin followed him, clearly hoping Victor’s activity meant either a meal or a walk for him. Victor led him outside for a brisk run. Both he and Makka were getting a little out of shape. He felt slightly guilty for not paying as much attention to him as usual. Victor had been so distracted by Yuuri in the last week. Luckily the Katsuki family had embraced Makkachin as if he was their own and Victor had seen all of them playing with him and walking him at various times. 

As they walked back to the inn, Victor mused on the welcoming warmth of the Katsuki family. Yuuri didn’t quite appreciate how extraordinarily lucky he was to have them. Victor had never felt so truly _at home_ anywhere. He got a cold feeling in his stomach when he wondered if they might react badly when they learned he was sleeping with their son. He didn’t truly expect they would, but part of him still felt afraid. What if they thought he was taking advantage? 

As they neared Yu-topia, Makkachin barked and raced ahead, eager to return home. Victor smiled. “Me too, Makka, me too,” he said under his breath.

Inside Hiroko and Toshiyo were eating breakfast at one table of the dining area. Mari was probably already busy at work. Yuuri’s parents motioned Victor to join them and Hiroko insisted on getting up and getting breakfast for him, though he tried to tell her it wasn’t necessary. After she returned with a tray for him (which included a bowl for Makkachin) they ate together peacefully. Toshiyo read a local newspaper as he ate but Hiroko seemed content to watch Makkachin and smile at Victor. 

There was a language barrier between them, since Victor only spoke limited Japanese and Hiroko’s English wasn’t very good. They usually made themselves understood, but casual conversation was difficult. Victor was slightly relieved when Yuuri joined them, carrying a bowl he’d fetched for himself from the kitchen. 

He was still rumpled from sleep, with his hair sticking up in all directions, and he mumbled a greeting grumpily. Victor thought he looked beautiful and he beamed at his adorable boyfriend. Yuuri didn’t seem to notice, but Victor thought Hiroko did. 

Victor sipped his tea and finished his breakfast while he waited for Yuuri to wake up completely. Victor noticed a dark mark peeking out from the edge of Yuuri’s t-shirt collar. He hadn’t exactly meant to leave it, but he wasn’t terribly sorry. He still had a large, fading hickey on the side of his own neck, joined this morning by several more smaller marks. Yuuri seemed to like leaving evidence on his body, and it had thrilled Victor when he looked at himself in the mirror this morning. Victor’ chest and neck were covered with suck marks of various shades. Victor pushed away the spike of arousal that shivered through him at the thought.

Hiroko and Yuuri were chatting in Japanese. Victor understood enough to know they were saying something about skating and the Ice Castle, so they were probably discussing plans for the day or Yuuri’s training. 

Yuuri finished his bowl of miso soup and looked at Victor apprehensively. He seemed to be asking a question with his eyes. Victor remembered their conversation from the day before about telling Yuuri’s family about their relationship. Victor swallow his own apprehension and nodded slightly. 

Yuuri cleared his throat and addressed both his parents in a more clear, slower tone than before. He spoke Japanese, but his eyes flicked to Victor as if to make sure Victor followed. Victor nodded. Yuuri kept his words simple, informing his parents that he and Victor were together now. Or maybe it was “boyfriends” now. Victor didn’t know the word he used. Victor reached for Yuuri’s hand, clasped it, and watched Yuuri’s face as he watched for his parents’ reaction.

The Katsukis did not disappoint. Hiroko acted surprised and pleased, though Victor suspected she’d known already. She got up and hugged Yuuri and then Victor, unleashing a babble of Japanese that Victor couldn’t follow except for the words ‘happy’ and maybe ‘long time.’ She was speaking to Victor as well as Yuuri so Victor smiled back and nodded. 

Yuuri’s father remained quiet, but he smiled in their direction and he and Victor exchanged nods. Yuuri bore up well under their excitement, but his face was pink and he kept repeating, “Okaasan” to Hiroko in a flustered tone. 

Victor felt incredibly happy. He was once again awed by the love the Katsukis had for Yuuri and deeply grateful to be included in it, to any extent. Yuuri’s parents never seemed judgmental or opinionated about Yuuri’s life choices. Victor wondered how they had reacted when their son wanted to pursue a career in skating, when he’d moved to a different continent. He imagined it was similar to how they reacted to Victor’s arrival, to this announcement. Love and support and pride. Victor swallowed against a sudden lump in his throat and made himself smile.

~~~~~

At the rink Victor and Yuuri discussed the composition of his free program while Victor consulted his notes from the day before. Yuuri hesitated when he saw the difficulty of the second half, but Victor pressed him on it until Yuuri declared he would do it. 

“Are you going to show me the program yet?” asked Yuuri, eager. 

“Hmm, no, not today,” said Victor. “You have a rest day tomorrow, so I’d rather wait and we can start working through it on Sunday.” 

“Oh.” Yuuri sounded slightly disappointed. Then he smiled slyly at Victor. “Speaking of rest days, there was something _else_ you said we needed to wait for a rest day for. 

Victor smiled knowingly. “Was there?” Yuuri frowned at him.

“You know there was!”

“Hmm, you know my memory is terrible.” Victor tried for an innocent expression, but his lips curved up too much. “What was it you wanted?”

Yuuri shook his head, laughing a little. His eyes danced as he shrugged and said, “Well, if you can’t remember then I guess we’ll forget it.” He turned away from Victor as if to walk away. Victor couldn’t resist grabbing for his arm and spinning him back. He stepped close to Yuuri and captured his chin with a hand.

“I haven’t forgotten, _radost’moya,_ ” he said softly. He saw Yuuri shiver a little. “Don’t worry, I have _plans_ for you tonight.” Yuuri’s eyes widened and his mouth parted. Victor thought about kissing him, but instead pulled away.

“But now let’s talk about step sequences.” Yuuri groaned and covered his face with his hands. “What? You love step sequences and you’re better at them than me, even.” Yuuri rolled his eyes at Victor, but he also looked pleased at the compliment. 

~~~~~

“So about these _plans_...” said Yuuri, looking at Victor out of the corner of his eye. Victor threw up his hands. 

“Yuuri! You haven’t even got your skates off yet!” Yuuri’s eyes flashed at him with amusement as he bent to continue removing his skates. 

“So I guess it _doesn’t_ involved bending me over the boards, then, if you want me to take my skates off” Victor opened his mouth to respond by got distracted by the image in his mind. 

“You keep mentioning that. You must have thought a _lot_ about it.” Yuuri’s face flushed and Victor smirked. “Besides, yesterday you were complaining about the idea of sex in the Ice Castle.”

“Obviously not complaining too much,” muttered Yuuri. He gathered his things and they headed for the exit. 

“My _plans_ involve us getting something to eat, cleaning up, and having a relaxing soak in the onsen,” he said as they left the rink.

“That’s what we do every day!”

“Yes, but we’re going to need some energy and more importantly, to be very clean.” Victor leered at Yuuri in an exaggerated way, but instead of laughing Yuuri went pink and ducked his head. Victor laughed, delighted. 

Friday was a busy night for the inn’s restaurant, so they ate quickly and headed for the baths. As they bathed, Victor felt Yuuri’s eyes on him more than usual. He wondered if his boyfriend was nervous about his first time bottoming. When even the heat of the spring failed to remove all the tension from Yuuri’s frame he decided that was the case.

“You look tense,” he said. 

Yuuri shook his head. “No, I’m fine.” Victor moved closer to him, sliding behind him to massage his shoulders and neck.

“You feel tense.” Yuuri made a small noise of pleasure and Victor felt him relax under his hands.

“Okay, maybe I am a little,” admitted Yuuri. 

“Feeling nervous?” asked Victor softly. 

“No. Okay, maybe. A little.” Victor knew that meant ‘yes’ and ‘quite a bit.’ Victor kissed him gently on the side of his neck. 

“You know we don’t have to do anything you don’t want. Or do anything tonight just because of what I said before.” 

“I know,” said Yuuri. “And you know I _want_ to, Vitya. I’m going to feel nervous no matter when it happens.” That was probably true. The problem with not being able to be completely spontaneous due to their training schedule was that Yuuri had time to anticipate and feel anxious. 

“Okay,” he said simply, kissing Yuuri again. He resumed his massage, enjoying the sounds Yuuri made, as well as the feeling of him relaxing. 

“Is there anything in particular you’re worried about?” he asked after a time. Yuuri made a humming sound. 

“Not really?” he answered after a moment. “I mean, it’s not like we haven’t done plenty...and I...trust you.” Victor smiled. “I’m not even worried. Just nervous. It’s not rational.” 

“Alright, well, good, I suppose,” said Victor. He took a breath. “There’s something I’d like to ask you, actually.” 

“Hmm?” Yuuri was finally feeling loose under Victor’s hands.

“I had an idea of something I wanted to try tonight,” he began. “How would you feel...” he almost stopped, wondering if this was even a good idea to mention now. 

“What?” asked Yuuri, turning around to look at him. Victor kept his hands on Yuuri’s arms, lightly touching him for reassurance. 

“How would you feel about being...tied up?” Yuuri’s eyes widened. He tilted his head to one side and looked at Victor curiously.

“Is that...something you want to do?” he asked. His voice sounded carefully non-judgmental. Victor shrugged.

“It’s not that I have a deep desire to tie you up or anything,” he explained. “But I have something in mind and I think it might work best if you couldn’t...move.” Yuuri was still looking at him without giving much away. Victor shifted awkwardly. “I mean, I know that sounds...weird. Sorry. It’s really not...how it sounds?” He swallowed, trying to find a way to retract everything he’d just said. 

“It’s not that weird,” said Yuuri, cutting through Victor’s internal panic.

“Oh. No?”

“No. I mean, are you talking about, like, whips and chains?” It was Victor’s turn to feel his eyes go wide.

“Oh, no. No. Nothing like that. I mean, I definitely don’t want to hurt you. At all.” Yuuri cracked a smile then, laughing a little at Victor’s denials. Victor relaxed, taking a breath.

“I just thought, maybe I’d use some scarves to tie your wrists to the bed. Maybe your ankles.” In fact, Victor had already chosen the scarves and laid them aside in his drawer in preparation. They were right next to the two kinds of lube and full box of high-end condoms. “It’s completely optional. It’s fine if you’re not into it.”

Yuuri smiled up at him and tilted his head. “Hmm, I could probably be convinced,” he said coyly. 

“God, you’re spectacular,” said Victor, bending to kiss him enthusiastically on the lips. Yuuri made a noise of surprise against his lips but melted against him quickly enough. When Victor moved to pull away, Yuuri gripped his head with both hands and held him in place, demanding more kisses. Victor was more than happy to oblige.

Yuuri released him only when they both were gasping for air. Victor smiled to see that Yuuri looked truly happy and his nerves from earlier seemed banished for the moment. 

“Ready to go?” Victor asked him. Yuuri smiled, only coloring a little, and nodded.

They dried off and headed for the stairs. Makkachin jumped up from his spot in the entryway to greet them, moving to follow them upstairs. Victor winced. He knew he hadn’t been spending as much time with his dog as he usually did and he felt guilty. He also knew he didn’t want any interruptions during their activities that night. 

“Go on up,” he said to Yuuri. “I’m going to take care of Makkachin.” Yuuri nodded and continued up the stairs. Victor went over to his dog and got down on one knee to give him scritches. Makkachin panting happily, rolling to his back to ask for belly rubs. Victor lavished affection on his dog for a while, before standing up.

“Sorry, Makka, but I need to leave you down here for a while.” He looked around and glimpsed Mari through the doorway to the kitchen. He headed in her direction, Makkachin following at his heels. She looked up as she heard him approach, her expression expectant.

“Hi, Mari-san!” Victor said brightly. She raised an eyebrow. “Could you do me a favor?”

“Hmm,” she said, looking him up and down. “What is it?”

“I just need you to watch Makka for a while. At least a few hours.” Mari’s face remained impassive. 

“So you can screw my brother?” she asked finally, tone even. Victor spluttered and his face burned. 

“I...” he said, looking away. “Yes?” He didn’t know how to deny the fact, when it would be an obvious lie.   
To his relief Mari huffed a laugh at that. She rolled her eyes. “He’s spent a lot of time with me this week,” she said. 

“Umm, yes, well,” Victor shrugged apologetically. “Is it a problem?” Mari shrugged noncommittally. 

“Not really. But I think he misses you.” Victor followed he gaze down to Makkachin, who did look pretty pathetic.

“I know, and I’m going to do better. But tonight...it’s kind of important.” He tried to think of how to explain, but Mari cut off his train of thought with a raised hand.

“I don’t need details.”

“Right. So it’s okay?” Mari nodded and Victor beamed at her. “Ok, Makka, keep Mari company tonight, okay?” Makkachin thumped his tail on the floor.

Victor turned to go, making sure Makka stayed behind. 

“Victor?” called Yuuri’s sister from behind him.

“Yes?” Victor turned halfway.

“He worshiped you, you know.” Mari’s expression had a hint of steel to it. Victor’s breath caught in his chest. He blinked a couple of times, then nodded.

“I know,” he said seriously. He turned slightly to leave, then stopped. “Now I worship him.” Mari looked shocked, and Victor turned to go before he had time to regret his words, but he was smiling as he did. 

He hurried up the stairs to his room, turning his thoughts to how he expected this night would play out. He found Yuuri sitting on his bed looking nervous. Victor beamed at him and rushed forward, climbing onto the mattress to kneel next to him. He leaned forward and kissed Yuuri tenderly, feeling Yuuri relax again. It was fast becoming one of his favorite things, feeling Yuuri release the tension he usually held in his body. The fact that all it took was a kiss from Victor made his heart sing with pride.

“You were gone a while,” commented Yuuri when they separated. 

“Hmm, yeah, had to talk to your sister.”

“Oh?” Yuuri tilted his head. “Everything ok?”

“Yeah, I think so.” Victor debated telling Yuuri exactly what they’d discussed. “She definitely knows about us, though.” Yuuri’s cheeks colored but he didn’t seem too upset. 

“Well, yeah. Okaasan would have told her if she didn’t already know. Did she...say something to you?”

Victor chuckled. “Not really. She seemed more worried about me neglecting Makkachin.” He shrugged. “And maybe she hinted a little that I should...not hurt you. She didn’t threaten my life or anything, though, so I think that almost counts as approval.”

Yuuri laughed. “From Mari? Definitely.” He leaned in and kissed Victor lightly. “I’m glad everyone knows,” he said. 

“Me, too.” Yuuri looked down shyly, then picked up something from the bed to show Victor. “I brought this. In case you wanted to use it.” He blushed adorably, but Victor saw something like pleasant anticipation in his eyes. He was holding the zippered case that Victor knew contained his vibrator. Victor smiled widely. 

“Oh, good! I hadn’t thought of that. I thought I thought of everything.” He took the case from Yuuri and set it aside. He leaned in to kiss his lover, taking his time, barely teasing apart his lips. Victor intended to take things very, very slow tonight and he didn’t want either of them to get too worked up too quickly. 

When Yuuri tried to deepen the kiss, when he started gripping Victor’s arms hard and shifting his body closer, Victor pulled back. Yuuri made a disappointed noise but Victor shook his head. “Shh, lover,” he whispered, pressing Yuuri back gently. “I don’t want to rush anything.” 

Yuuri blew out a breath in frustration. He eased up onto his knees and crawled closer to Victor, clearly trying to move seductively. He leaned over Victor and pouted, capturing Victor’s face in both hands, bringing his lips within centimeters of Victor’s. “Vitya,” he breathed. “Please.” Victor sucked in a breath, Yuuri’s tone going straight to his cock. He bit his lip to keep from closing the distance. 

Victor sighed heavily. “See? This is why I need to tie you down,” he said, watching Yuuri’s eyes widen and his pupils dilate as Victor’s words hit. Victor smirked. Then he grabbed the hem of Yuuri’s shirt and pulled it roughly off his head. This made Yuuri sit back and splutter, but Victor kept tugging until the shirt came free. He took advantage of Yuuri being momentarily off-balance to push him back and down to the mattress, moving to cover him with his own body. 

Yuuri’s eyes sparkled as he breathed heavily, his hands pushing weakly against Victor’s chest. Victor caught Yuuri’s wrists in both hands, gripping securely. He waited a moment for Yuuri to register his strong grip, and then he carefully pulled Yuuri’s arms over his head until they were fully extended, held in place by Victor’s arms. Yuuri arched under him, his breath coming in shallow pants. Yuuri bucked his lower body up against Victor and he felt an undeniable erection pressing into his own. He lowered himself down to claim Yuuri’s lips in a kiss. This time it was passionate and hard, and Yuuri moaned appreciatively into his mouth. 

“You like this?” he whispered into Yuuri’s ear, dragging his earlobe between his lips and sucking. Yuuri nodded, pressing back up into Victor, their lengths grinding together. Victor’s breath shuddered and he rutted down against Yuuri in turn. This was _not_ going according to plan. He’d intended things to move much more slowly, and there was still a lot he wanted to do before getting to the main event of the evening. But they both were hard and getting more desperate. 

“Fuck it,” he said under his breath, before releasing Yuuri’s wrists and lowering his hands, one of them scrabbling at Yuuri’s waistband, trying to uncover his cock. Yuuri’s hands came down to tug at Victor’s shirt, and he paused long enough to let him pull it over his head. 

He returned to his task and Yuuri worked at his own pants, until they had both successfully freed their erections. Victor ground them together, wrapping his hand around them both, Yuuri’s hand covering the other side and together they gripped and stroked. Victor leaned back and captured Yuuri’s lips as he thrust against him. He nibbled at his bottom lip and then thrust his tongue inside forcefully. Yuuri was moaning and whimpering beautifully. 

“I can’t resist you when you’re like this,” Victor whispered to him, moving his mouth to Yuuri’s throat, nibbling and sucking. “You’re so hot and so shameless.” Yuuri moaned loudly at that, whether in genuine response or with sarcasm, Victor couldn’t tell. And didn’t really care. Victor increased the speed of their hands, finding Yuuri’s free hand with his and pressing it to the mattress, their fingers interlaced. There was nothing for a while but heat and friction and heavy breathing punctuated by moans and groans from them both. 

And then Yuuri’s cries picked up in frequency and he was crying out with every stroke of their hands. Victor thrust against him harder and then Yuuri was shouting, body arching up under Victor, spilling hot and thick over Victor’s hand. 

Victor kept stroking, Yuuri’s own hand had fallen away and was now clutching the sheet. Victor stroked him until his body relaxed back into the mattress, until his cries became protests of overstimulation. Victor released his grip around both their cocks, letting his body relax against Yuuri’s. But he thrust even harder now, into the warm mess of Yuuri’s come, grinding his throbbing cock into the crease of his thigh, sliding easily up to prod at the slight curve of his belly. Yuuri wrapped his arms around Victor, urging him on, pressing them tighter together. 

Victor didn’t know if this was going to be enough, if the heat and the friction and the sticky slide and the deep ache was enough to get him there. And then Yuuri’s lips were at his ear and he was commanding him, “Come for me, Vitya, come on, please, Vitya.” And that was it, he thrust almost painfully hard against Yuuri’s body and then he was falling apart, heat ripping through him and out his cock. 

He shuddered and jerked for a time, before feeling his muscles relax. He rolled off Yuuri before he fell and crushed him, panting for breath as the air cooled the sticky fluid on his body. He looked over at Yuuri, who was far messier, but Yuuri was simply looking at him with a smile. He smiled back, stretching his arms over his head. He kicked the pants that were still looped around his ankles off. He noticed that Yuuri’s pants were clinging to his knees.

“Was that part of the plan?” asked Yuuri. Victor snickered.

“No! It was not. You seduced me away from the plan, because you are impossible to resist.” He planted a kiss on Yuuri's forehead.

“I thought there were some things we’d discussed that were a little different.” 

“Oh don’t worry, the night is young. That was just a taster, to take the edge off.” He smiled at his lover. “Otherwise neither of us was going to make it through what I have in mind.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a taster, a little bit of a tease. This was mostly a transitional chapter setting up the next one. 
> 
> And for the first time since I started posting I don't actually have the next chapter already finished. I've been writing on a lot of different things and have had difficulty concentrating on this one. Plus the next part is important and I want to do it right. I think it will be ready next week, but I may end up dividing Chapter 11 into two parts. Just a heads up.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Victor mercilessly adores Yuuri.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's Chapter 11, all in one piece. It picks up directly after Chapter 10.

Yuuri could still feel the aftereffects of his orgasm as he lay on Victor’s bed. They had cleaned themselves up, Victor fetching a warm, wet cloth for Yuuri. Now Victor was moving around the room, gathering various things from drawers. Soon he was standing over Yuuri, gloriously naked, smiling proudly. Yuuri took a moment to enjoy the view. He was never going to get tired of looking at Victor’s body. It was too perfect.

“Are you ready to be tied up?” asked his boyfriend, eyes sparkling. Yuuri nodded, a buzz of nervous anticipation coming to life in his belly. He really hadn’t even imagined himself tied up before. And he didn’t know exactly what Victor was up to. But he had to admit that there was something arousing in the thought of being completely at his lover’s mercy. Since Victor had brought it up, Yuuri found himself more and more intrigued by the idea. 

So he stretched out on the bed as Victor crawled onto it, trailing several scarves from his hands. Yuuri raised his arms over his head and Victor tied his wrists together with a soft, silky scarf. He then pulled Yuuri’s arms taut, securing the scarf to the frame of the bed. 

“Is that ok?” Victor asked him, tugging at the knots to make sure they were secure. “Is it comfortable?” Yuuri shifted himself around, to test the bonds. 

“Yes, it’s fine,” he said. In fact the scarf felt nice against his skin and wasn’t at all painful. There was a little slack in it to let him move his arms slightly, but not enough to raise them more than a few inches from the mattress. 

Victor kissed Yuuri’s forearms just under the knotted scarf, then moved down the bed till he was kneeling by Yuuri’s hips. He stoked his hands down Yuuri’s bare chest, then down his right thigh and calf. He massaged Yuuri’s foot gently, causing Yuuri to sigh. Victor placed a kiss on the top of his foot and then started tying one of the remaining scarves around his ankle. 

He tested the knots and checked with Yuuri that it was comfortable before stretching his leg out towards the corner of the bed. Victor looped the scarf around the corner support of the bed frame and pulled until Yuuri was stretched out completely, his leg at an angle from his hip. He repeated the same process on Yuuri’s other ankle so his legs were spread wide open. 

Yuuri felt heat pool in his belly at the feeling of being so obviously on display. When Victor stood up and looked down at him the feeling only intensified. Yuuri’s cheeks burned and the flush spread down his throat. His cock stirred slightly as well, which was an unusual reaction to embarrassment for him. Victor continued looking at him without speaking, his eyes trailing slowly across Yuuri’s entirely body. Victor’s expression was mischievous, his finger tapping against his lips as he looked his fill. 

“Are you going to do anything other than look at me?” asked Yuuri, unable to bear the silent scrutiny any longer. 

“Hmm,” mused Victor. “Eventually, yes.” And he dragged his eyes down and back up Yuuri’s body again, lingering between his legs. Yuuri flushed hotter, annoyed with Victor. He clearly could see Yuuri was feeling awkward, but he was doing this intentionally. 

“You’re so beautiful, Yuuri,” said Victor, interrupting Yuuri’s increasingly annoyed internal rant. 

“Victor,” he tried, whining a little.

“You _are_ , darling. Stunningly, incredibly, beautiful.” Victor approached the right side of the bed, coming closer to Yuuri, still looking down on him from his height. “I love looking at you.”

Yuuri bit his lip and breathed deep, trying to calm himself. He knew Victor meant it. He wasn’t trying to annoy Yuuri or embarrass him. 

“You don’t have any idea how beautiful you are, do you, Yuuri?” Yuuri’s eyes jerked up to meet Victor’s. He blinked, unsure. “Do you?” repeated Victor. Yuuri drew in breath to speak, but then shook his head jerkily. Victor’s eyes went very soft. 

“I know you don’t,” he said. “That’s why I’m going to tell you.” Victor sat on the edge of the bed, then, his hand coming up to cup Yuuri’s cheek. Yuuri couldn’t have said why he felt scared at that moment, other than the fact that he was so trapped and exposed. Victor’s gaze felt like a tangible thing against him, and he couldn’t flinch away or cover his face. 

Victor just looked at his face, stroking his thumb down Yuuri’s cheek and then across his lips. Yuuri felt himself trembling slightly and hoped it wasn’t perceptible. He wanted Victor to touch him, to lose himself in sensation, but Victor wasn’t moving to do that, leaving Yuuri feeling increasingly vulnerable. 

“The first thing I noticed about you was your eyes,” said Victor conversationally. “When I first saw you at the banquet, right before you started dancing. You looked at me for just a moment and I thought ‘wow, he’s got the most stunning eyes.’” Yuuri blinked up at Victor.

“I didn’t have time to really notice the rest of your face then, because you turned around and took off your jacket and I saw your ass.” Victor smiled, his eyes crinkling. “I was very distracted by that ass, too. So I didn’t notice how lush your lips were, or think about how nice it would feel to kiss them. Not then.” Victor’s thumb was back brushing against Yuuri’s lips. Then Victor bent his head and placed a chaste kiss to Yuuri’s lips. Yuuri tried to open his mouth, deepen the kiss, but Victor pulled away. Yuuri wet his lips with his tongue instead.

Victor shifted, sitting back slightly to look down Yuuri’s body. His hand stroked down the center of Yuuri’s chest. “You know I saw almost all of you that night, thanks to Chris and his ridiculous pole. I remember feeling so grateful to see what was under that terrible suit you wore. God, I thought about that for months, Yuuri.” Victor looked back up at him and Yuuri’s cheeks burned again. But a warm arousal sparked between his legs as well. 

“I used to picture you as you were that night, dancing, but dancing just for me. I imagined doing a _lot_ of things to this body, Yuuri.” Victor was stroking up and down Yuuri’s chest, swirling his fingertips lightly on Yuuri’s skin. 

“So do them,” breathed Yuuri. Victor’s eyes sparked at that, delighted. 

“Oh I will,” he said. “Don’t worry. Sooner or later I’m going to do everything I’ve ever thought about to you.” Yuuri’s breath came faster at Victor’s low tone full of promise. 

“Sooner?” he begged. 

“Hmm,” Victor replied vaguely. His hand kept moving, tracing circles around first one of Yuuri’s nipples and then the other. “I like the color of your nipples. Is that weird?” Yuuri huffed a laugh in surprise. 

“I don’t care if it is. I like them,” Victor continued. He stroked over Yuuri’s left nipple, which responded by hardening. Yuuri closed his eyes at the sensation. “They’re a lovely dark color,” Victor continued, now stroking lightly over his other nipple. His hand traced back across Yuuri’s chest, then lightly pinched his nipple. Yuuri made a soft noise of pleasure. Then Victor’s hot, wet mouth closed over his other nipple and he cried out.

“Vitya,” Yuuri moaned. Victor pinched his nipple harder, sucking on the other one. Yuuri shuddered, a pulse of sensation running straight to his cock. Victor moaned as he sucked and squeezed him. Yuuri shifted his hips, wishing Victor would move his head down, down. And then when Yuuri was biting into his bottom lip hard, his cock filling steadily, Victor sat up and released him. Yuuri gasped and arched up, wanting the stimulation back. 

Victor smiled down at him. “I love how sensitive and responsive you are.” Yuuri whimpered a little. Victor returned to stroking lightly down his chest, tracing around Yuuri’s muscles, hooking under his ribs, and then down over his abs. Victor traced down both sides of his belly down his v-line. 

“Mm, this, this is...do you have any idea how hot this is, Yuuri?” Victor asked, then dipped his head down to lick all the way down one side of the V and back up, frustratingly skipping over his now hard cock. Yuuri groaned and tried to buck his hips up and demand Victor’s mouth move where he wanted it, but Victor danced back, avoiding his cock entirely. 

And then Victor licked in from the side of his belly, along the slightly convex plain, and Yuuri realized he was following the lines of Yuuri’s stretch marks. The shameful evidence of his poor self-control. “Victor!” he objected, trying to shimmy away, or roll, but the bonds hold him in place. 

“What?” asked Victor. “Does that tickle?” He leaned down to do it again.

“No! It’s just...” Yuuri swallowed, closed his eyes, wished he hadn’t said anything. “Don’t...my stretch marks...” Victor looked at him, apparently surprised.

“You mind?” he asked, as if the thought never would have occurred to him.

“You...I...you don’t have to draw attention to them,” muttered Yuuri, frustrated. 

“But...I think they’re cute!”

“Don’t,” Yuuri pleaded.

“What?” Victor still looked confused, lost.

“Don’t lie about it just to make me feel better.” Yuuri turned his head to the side.

“Yuuri!” Victor sat up completely then, sitting back on his heels. For the first time, all teasing and seductiveness was gone from his face. “I’m _not._ I don’t lie to you. Do you think I’m lying?” Victor appeared genuinely distressed now, and Yuuri wished again that he had keep quiet. And he cursed the ties holding him down, keeping him from rolling away.

“No, Victor, never mind, okay?” Yuuri still looked away from his boyfriend, trying to capture a light tone. “Let’s get back to the part where you were about to touch my cock, okay?” Victor did smile at that, a wicked look appearing in his eye for a second. But then he sobered.

“Yuuri, that’s the _point_ of this. I want you to know I mean it when I say you’re beautiful. I want you to understand how beautiful and sexy and adorable you really are. Even your imperfections are perfect.” Victor’s hand was back on Yuuri’s belly and he was stroking the lines radiating out from the center. Victor held Yuuri’s eyes as he did, and Yuuri felt the sting of tears in his own. 

Yuuri looked away, blinking to get himself under control. He felt Victor lean over him, moving up his body. He turned his head back to look at his lover and saw Victor above him, body stretched out over his own. Victor was giving him such a tender look, not demanding or impatient. 

“Vitya,” Yuuri breathed, and Victor smiled and moved forward into a kiss. The kiss was steadying, reassuring, and warmth spread down through Yuuri’s body seemingly from his mouth. It was as if he could feel Victor’s love spreading through him, pushing aside his fears and insecurities. 

Yuuri tugged at the bonds on his wrists again, desperately wanting to wrap his arms around Victor, to hold on tight. “I want to hold you right now,” he said in frustration in between kisses. 

“Mmm,” said Victor, before diving back in for another kiss. “Do you want me to untie you?” he asked after a moment. “I will, of course, if you really want me to.” Yuuri hesitated, the weight of Victor’s gaze feeling heavy again. 

“I have a lot more of you to worship, though, and I don’t want you to hide any of your beautiful, sexy parts from me.” With that Victor pressed his lower body down to Yuuri and Yuuri surged his hips upwards, groaning at the contact of his aching cock with something. He also felt Victor hard against his thigh and he was suddenly not concerned about how he looked or how awkward he felt. He was hit with a spike of _want_ so strong he almost thought he could come from it. 

His hips kept grinding up into Victor and Yuuri groaned again. Victor made his own sound of sudden desire and latched his mouth to Yuuri’s neck. He sucked hard and then bit down, making Yuuri hiss with mingled pain and arousal. Yuuri squirmed as Victor kept the pressure on, finally loosing a sob and thrashing a bit. Victor broke away from his neck finally, and raised himself above Yuuri. Yuuri could see his eyes had gone dark, pupils wide. 

Victor pushed himself up and sat back from Yuuri a bit shakily. Yuuri mourned the loss of the stimulation on his cock and thrust his hips up a few times in a silent plea. From his perch about him, Victor watched Yuuri’s cock bob with a slightly parted mouth. Yuuri licked his lips, willing Victor to lower his swollen and reddened lips to his erection. But Victor didn’t move, just watched until Yuuri’s hips stopped moving. 

“Are you trying to drive me insane?” he asked a bit desperately. Victor grinned at him, cocking his head. 

“Hmm, no, not exactly. I want to really take my time with you, Yuuri. We don’t get that much time alone, and I want to really explore all of you.” Victor ran a hand up and down the top of Yuuri’s right thigh, causing goose bumps to stand out on his flesh. 

“So torturing me is just a side effect?” Victor’s eyes twinkled at him and his lips pursed in a bit of a pout. 

“It _is_ fun to watch you get desperate. But I don’t want to make things too hard on you...Do you think you could get hard again tonight if you come now?” Victor looked at him like he’d was asking Yuuri’s opinion about a jump combination, but Yuuri’s mind went blank for a moment from the strength of the pulse of desire that went through him at Victor’s words. 

They’d both already come once. He was hard and needy again already, and if Victor meant things to move as slow as it sounded...and if he truly intended to fuck Yuuri tonight after all of this.

“Y-yes,” choked Yuuri. “Yes, yes, I’m sure I could.” Victor laughed, the delight in his ringing tones erasing the sting of being laughed at. 

“Promise?” he teased, pouting again. Yuuri nodded enthusiastically. 

And then he gasped because Victor’s mouth was engulfing his cock, so hot and wet and perfect that Yuuri was surprised he didn’t come immediately. Victor sucked him hard, bobbing over his hips vigorously, humming around his erection. His hand spread saliva down the shaft as Victor focused on the head, pulling back Yuuri’s foreskin to flick a tongue across the most sensitive parts. 

Yuuri wrapped his fingers around the scarf binding his hands and pulled hard. He turned his face to his shoulder and bit into the flesh to smother his cries. So quickly, Victor had him speeding towards climax, using hands and mouth skillfully. One hand dropped low, caressing his balls and squeezing, then moving lower. A finger traced down his perineum to press into his opening, slick with drool, spreading moisture in a circle. Yuuri made an appreciative noise. Victor took his cock deep and pressed his finger inside at the same time. Yuuri’s hips lifted from the bed and Victor was hastily pulling his head back, gagging slightly. But his finger was still working inside his ass, and his mouth returned to his cock immediately. Yuuri started coming apart, losing track of the sensations, and then Victor was pressing into his prostate and Yuuri shouted, coming into Victor’s mouth in heavy pulses. 

Yuuri lay back, stunned, as Victor sucked him dry. He let Yuuri’s cock fall from his mouth and preceded to lick all traces of moisture from the area around it with little kitten licks. Victor’s hands then started to trace up and down Yuuri’s torso, soothing him and bringing him back into his body at the same time. 

Victor sat back and looked down at him with a cocky expression. “One of these days I’m going to see how many times I can make you come in a night. Tonight I’m just going for three, though.” Yuuri, the fog of pleasure still engulfing him, thought Victor’s abilities to get him off were probably infinite. He imagined coming over and over again, endlessly, at the mercy of Victor’s mouth, hands, cock. 

“Mmm,” was all he said. Victor gave him an open-mouthed grin.

“Moving on,” said Victor, shifting himself further down Yuuri’s body. “Your thighs, Yuuri.” Victor glared at him with mock severity. “Your thighs are amazing. I know, I know, skaters have great thighs. But yours are ridiculous. Remember that morning when I got off between your thighs? I need to do that again sometime. I’d been thinking about it for ages.” Yuuri’s face heated, which pulled him a little further out of his post-coital haze. 

“Your thighs are great, too,” he said vaguely. 

“First of all, we’re talking about you right now,” said Victor. “Secondly, _look_.” Victor stretched his leg out next to Yuuri’s, thighs next to each other (although facing opposite directions.) There was no denying that Victor’s thigh was thinner, the muscles less defined. “I don’t know if you realize this, Yuuri, but you’re much stronger than I am. Smaller, but stronger. A better skater body all around.”

“Victor, you _know_ that’s not true.” Yuuri replied, but he wasn’t really paying attention to the topic. His eyes were focused on Victor’s erection, jutting up proudly from his lap just past his thighs. Victor threw up his hands as if he was giving in. 

“The point is, _God_ your thighs are hot, love.” Victor changed position, back to his knees, bending over Yuuri’s thighs. He placed a line of kisses down the front of both thighs, dragging his tongue in places, smiling when Yuuri began to squirm. 

He pressed Yuuri’s legs apart a little further, enough so he could kiss his inner thighs, lightly at first, and then with suction. Victor sucked marks into both of Yuuri’s inner thighs, teeth nipping lightly and making Yuuri gasp. He felt a stirring in his cock at how close his lover’s mouth was to his crotch. By the time Victor was finished with his thighs there was a trail of reddish marks down both of them, and Yuuri was trembling. 

Victor looked up at him fondly from his spot between Yuuri’s legs, taking in Yuuri’s flushed face and shallow breathing. “I could do this all night,” he murmured. Yuuri groaned, letting his head fall back. 

“What about you?” he pointed out. “Don’t you want to come?” He knew Victor was still hard, knew he must be aching by now. 

“Mmm, of course, _miliy,_ but I’m not ready yet.” He was sliding further down between Yuuri’s legs, his mouth tracing down to Yuuri’s calf. 

“How can you not be ready?” asked Yuuri, and he could hear the whine in his voice. 

“Because I’m going to fuck you, Yuuri, but I’m not ready for that yet. I’m only going to fuck you after I’ve enjoyed every other inch of you.” His mouth was at Yuuri’s ankle now, skipping over the scarf holding his leg in place. His tongue curved along the top arch of Yuuri’s foot before coming to his toes. Victor sucked Yuuri’s big toe into his mouth with a satisfied moan.

“Ah! Victor!” Yuuri had, obviously, never had his toes sucked on before. It was a strange sensation, shocking, but it also caused a tingling feeling to spread up his leg. Victor moved on to his other toes, tongue darting in between them. As Victor continued to shower attention to his foot, Yuuri was shocked to realize his cock was hardening again. Slowly, given their previous activities, but definitely responding to Victor’s mouth. 

Victor released the left foot and looked up at Yuuri. He noticed the semi-hard state of Yuuri’s cock, and grinned. He placed a hand lightly over it, eyes twinkling up at him. 

“Did you like that, Yuuri?” he asked, voice very breathy. “You did, didn’t you?” He massaged Yuuri’s cock gently, causing him to whimper. 

“I guess so,” answered Yuuri, hips moving in a slow rhythm, pressing up into Victor’s hand. Victor’s face lit up, and he dived enthusiastically for Yuuri’s other foot. He repeated his actions with this foot, kissing and sucking a bit more forcefully now. Yuuri gave in and let himself moan in response, letting go of his reservations. It seemed like Victor had a thing for his feet, and that Yuuri enjoyed the attention. There were certainly weirder things. 

Eventually, Victor sat back and placed a hand on each of Yuuri’s ankles over his bonds. Yuuri looked down at him, pleading. His cock was fully erect again, and he could see how red and wet the head of Victor’s was from here. 

“Please, Victor,” he begged. He didn’t even know what he was asking for any longer, other than _more._

“Would you like your legs freed?” asked Victor. Yuuri nodded enthusiastically, hoping Victor intended to lift his legs up and finally fuck him properly. “Okay.” Victor set to untying the knots holding his ankles, struggling a bit with the second one. 

As soon as his legs were free, Yuuri bent them up, setting his knees widely apart in what he hoped was an obvious enough invitation. Victor smiled at him, rubbing at Yuuri’s ankles and calves a little. 

“Not just yet, _radost’moya_ ,” he whispered and Yuuri groaned. “Can you turn over for me, onto your stomach?” Yuuri hesitated, feeling awkward with his wrists still tied, but then he complied, shifting his knees over and rolling clumsily. Victor guided him, pulling him back into place so that his arms were still stretched straight over his head. The scarf twisted and the pressure on his wrists tightened a bit, but it still wasn’t painful. Victor stretched Yuuri’s legs out and Yuuri briefly wondered if he was going to tie his ankles again, but he didn’t. 

And then Victor straddled him, sitting down on Yuuri’s butt. The contact of naked skin to skin was a tease. He could just feel the brush of Victor’s balls against his ass, and when he leaned forward a moment later, his cock pressed into the small of Yuuri’s back. With Victors weight on his hips, though, Yuuri couldn’t move, couldn’t press up against him. His own erection was trapped under their combined weight, pressed firmly into the bed. 

Victor brought his hands up to Yuuri’s shoulders and neck and started massaging. Yuuri’s shoulders had started to ache from being tied in one position, so this was welcome. Victor worked his thumbs into his muscles slowly, earning pleased noises. He worked his hands outwards from Yuuri’s neck, into the meat of his upper arms. Victor placed several brief kisses to the nape of his neck. Yuuri turned his head to the side, wishing he could reach back and kiss him properly. Victor took advantage of his change in position to kiss the side of his throat, sucking hard and making Yuuri squirm under him. 

Yuuri felt entirely pinned down by Victor’s body. He could barely move at all, only managing the slightest shifts under his weight. It made him feel completely vulnerable, physically. For the first time he couldn’t take control of their lovemaking, all he could do was beg Victor to do what he wanted. The realization made him shiver, but it wasn’t unpleasant. 

He trusted Victor with his body, trusted him so much with all of him. He desperately wanted Victor to move down, to slide his cock further down, to stretch Yuuri open and finally, finally, fill him up. But he knew he couldn’t do anything but wait, knowing Victor would get there eventually. And a feeling of peace and relaxation spread through him as he accepted it. He let himself finally relax into Victor’s hands, putting himself totally at his mercy, letting his mind relinquish control.

Victor seemed to sense Yuuri’s new relaxation and it felt like the larger man also relaxed more fully, the weight of his body becoming even heavier. He continued to kiss Yuuri’s throat and neck, his hands working their way up Yuuri’s arms, encouraging the relaxation to spread. Yuuri moaned softly, no longer holding any of his reactions back or worrying about how they would be interpreted. 

“I love you, Yuuri,” Victor murmured into Yuuri’s ear. 

“Love you, too. Vitya.” Yuuri continued to float in the happy, warm space he’d found under Victor’s body.

“You’re the sexiest person I’ve ever known,” continued Victor. “The most beautiful. I will never get tired of looking at you, kissing you, making love to you. You set me on fire sometimes with just a look and you don’t even know you’re doing it.” 

Victor shifted his hips, dragging his cock across the skin of Yuuri’s lower back, leaving a trail of moisture. Yuuri whimpered. “I tell you you’re beautiful and you shrug it off. You don’t _believe_ me. I need you to believe me, my love, I need you to stop fighting it, stop insisting you don’t _deserve_ this.”

Yuuri’s throat was suddenly thick and tears stung his eyes. He tried to breathe deeply, to recapture the peace he’d felt a moment before, but a small sob escaped his throat. “Vitya,” he managed to whisper, and then the tears did fall, leaking from the corners of his clenched shut eyes. 

Victor kissed him again, on his neck, on his hot cheek, one hand coming up to wipe at his tears. Yuuri clenched his eyes shut tighter and shuddered in place, feeling Victor’s arms come close around his head and arms, sheltering him. Yuuri thought Victor was going to speak several times, but he didn’t, letting Yuuri tremble and breathe. All in all it wasn’t bad. He didn’t break down into sobs, didn’t get covered in snot from blubbering. He shed a small amount of tears while Victor held him, and then he felt...better. A new kind of calm filled him. He opened his eyes, staring blankly ahead of him at his own arm and sucked in air. 

“Yuuri?” asked Victor, concern edging through. 

“Yeah,” he answered. Then he smiled, wryly. They were so close, most of Yuuri’s body being covered by Victor’s, Victor’s head resting against his own, his breath hot on Yuuri’s cheek. 

“Everything okay?” asked Victor. And Yuuri smiled at that, too. Such an inadequate question. 

“Yeah,” he said again. “Yeah, I’m ok.” 

“Do you want me to get off you?” asked Victor, voice still filled with gentle concern. 

“No. Definitely not.” Yuuri considered their position and the fact that his shoulders still ached. “But could you untie me? My arms are going numb.”

“Oh! Yes! Sorry!” Victor sat up, shifting onto his knees and taking his weight off Yuuri. The air that hit his skin felt cold after the heat of Victor’s body and Yuuri shivered, breaking out in goosebumps. Victor fumbled with the scarf knotted around his wrists and managed to loosen them enough for Yuuri’s hands to slip through. Yuuri flexed his wrists and circled his hands to stretch them. Victor rubbed at his hands and forearms, continuing to apologize. “I’m really sorry; I should have thought...”

“Victor!” Yuuri cut him off. “It’s fine, really. I’m fine. Please. Lay back down on me. Hold me down.”

Victor stilled, and then carefully lowered himself back down, stretched out on Yuuri. “Like that?”

“Yeah,” sighed Yuuri, relaxing, bringing his hands under his head and using them as a pillow.

“You like that?” Victor’s voice was soft again, back next to Yuuri’s ear.

“Yeah. I like it a lot. It makes me feel safe.”

“Oh.” Victor wriggled a bit, finding a more comfortable position. Yuuri felt his breathing even out, coming to match his own and they breathed together, relaxed. Eventually Victor’s weight became a little much for Yuuri, so he decided to break the silence.

“So...you had other plans, I think,” he said. 

“Hmm, yeah,” admitted Victor. “But this is nice.”

“Yeah. But I still want you.” 

“Yeah?” Victor shifted his hips, pressing his cock into Yuuri’s back. He didn’t feel as hard as he had before, and neither was Yuuri’s cock where it was trapped under them. They’d both relaxed enough to lose the edge of arousal. 

“Yes. Vitya, I want to feel you inside me,” Yuuri said softly. Victor groaned, lifting himself up on his elbows, arching his back so that just his lower half was pressing Yuuri down. Yuuri continued, voice more sure, “I’ve wanted that so much, since the first moment you kissed me. You keep making me wait, though.” 

Victor made a humming noise, but didn’t reply. He lifted himself completely away from Yuuri’s body, then slid down, dragging his hands down the expanse of Yuuri’s back. His hands stopped on his ass, kneading into the muscle. 

Victor kissed his left cheek. “You didn’t even let me get around to praising your ass.” He shifted and kissed the other cheek. “That’s probably for the best because I might never stop.” His hands kneaded more forcefully, pulling his cheeks apart slightly. Yuuri felt the warmth of Victor’s breath against his exposed crack and shivered.

His hands spread him open wider, as wide as possible, and then Victor was pressing his face in between, his tongue extending to swipe at Yuuri’s puckered hole. Yuuri made a high-pitched noise, even though he had suspected what was coming. Yuuri had wondered what it would feel like, having someone’s tongue in that most private of places. It felt amazing, hot and wet and thrilling. 

Victor’s tongue probed him, pressing inside, the very tip easing into the center of the tight muscle. Yuuri was making continuous moaning sounds now, grateful that Victor was still lying on his legs, which held him mostly still. His tongue licked and thrust alternately, and Yuuri’s body seemed to part easily to let it inside. The feeling was so wet, so deliciously filthy and new. Yuuri chanted Victor’s name, gasping as he pressed deeper, his tongue fucking into him. 

Victor raised his head, Yuuri whimpering in complaint at the withdrawal of his tongue. But he soon felt one of Victor’s fingers pressing into him, sliding easily into him with the moisture of the saliva coating his entrance. He pressed his finger against the muscle, encouraging it to loosen, fucking in and out a few times. Then he pressed his face back into Yuuri’s crack, tongue joining his finger, licking around and into the rim of his hole. Yuuri cried out at this new sensation, urging Victor on wordlessly. 

Before long Victor was trying to ease a second finger into Yuuri, but he pulled back suddenly. Yuuri looked over his shoulder at him in complaint and saw Victor reaching for something and then holding up the bottle of lube. 

“Forgot something,” said Victor sheepishly. Yuuri grinned and laid his head back down, wiggling his ass a little to show his eagerness. Victor huffed a laugh and returned his fingers to Yuuri’s opening, pressing two inside smoothly now they were dripping with lube. Yuuri moaned appreciatively as Victor continued pressing in, spreading the lube as far as he could, stroking his interior walls, seeking for the spot that made Yuuri gasp and jerk his hips. 

Victor stretched him gently, brushing his prostate until Yuuri was almost sobbing. His cock was leaking steadily under him, a damp spot growing on the sheet as he writhed against Victor’s fingers. Victor worked up to three fingers, twisting his hand to ensure Yuuri was completely loose. 

“Victor, please,” cried Yuuri. “Please, I’m ready, I promise.”

Victor chuckled a little, pressing his fingers as deep inside as he could once more. “What do you want, Yuuri?” he asked, teasing.

“Please, Vitya, your cock, I want your cock inside me,” gasped Yuuri. 

“Mmm,” said Victor and planted a kiss on the curve of Yuuri’s ass, before retracting his fingers. Yuuri felt empty and bereft, as if he were gaping open. Victor moved a little behind him, and he heard the tearing of the condom wrapper and the lid of the lube again. Yuuri looked over his shoulder to see Victor’s hand brush over his cock to coat the condom thickly. Yuuri bit his bottom lip in anticipation. 

“Should I...lay like this?” he asked. “Or on my knees?” 

“Up on your knees is easiest, I think.” Yuuri raised up to his hands and knees eagerly. He felt Victor’s hands grip his hips as he positioned himself behind Yuuri. 

“I’m going to go really slow, ok?” said Victor. “If you need me to stop or pull out just tell me.”

“Ok,” said Yuuri with a nod. He just wanted to get Victor in him, already. A moment later he felt the wet, cool feeling of Victor’s lube-coated cock against his entrance. Victor pressed forward and Yuuri’s body gave way, allowing him barely inside. Then there was pressure and a little burn as his full thickness pressed through the ring of muscle. 

“Oh,” gasped Yuuri at the sensation, and Victor stilled. 

“Alright?” he asked, sounding a little strained. 

“Yeah...I...” Yuuri shifted his hips back to try taking Victor deeper and feeling the same resistance in his body, moved forward again. He shifted back and forward several times, in tiny increments, feeling his body gradually relax, until suddenly he pressed back and the head of Victor’s cock slipped through completely. They both gasped.

Yuuri panted, the intensity of the feeling snatching the breath from his lungs. Victor was gripping his hips tightly, trembling slightly. He pressed a little forward and Yuuri moaned at the feeling. 

“Good?” asked Victor, as if he was still concerned despite Yuuri’s sounds. 

“Yes, yes,” he said in response, pushing back sharply to take more of Victor. Victor gasped at that. “Please, please, more, Vitya,” Yuuri continued. Victor made a keening noise and pressed more surely into him, steadily, until he bottomed out, his body shaking where it met Yuuri’s. 

“Mmm,” moaned Yuuri in deep satisfaction. 

“God, Yuuri, you’re so good.” Victor pulled back a little and thrust again. “So perfect, oh my god.” Yuuri shifted his hips, trying to silently encourage Victor to move more, faster. Victor did, picking up the pace and depth of his thrusts gradually, Yuuri making continual noises of pleasure. 

His arms collapsed and he sunk to his elbows, resting his forehead on the pillow, fisting his hands into the sheets. He kept pushing back to meet Victor’s thrusts, wanting more, harder, crying wordless encouragement. Victor’s grip on his hips tightened and he started pulling Yuuri back against him, leaning back to get more leverage. Yuuri’s cock bounced against his belly, leaving damp spots with each strike. 

Yuuri was well beyond words now. He sobbed, his head thrown back, as Victor tilted his hips and hit his prostate hard. He could only take three thrusts like that and he was pulling away, sobbing for breath. Victor paused. 

“Too much?” he asked, breathless. Yuuri nodded, feeling tears leak from the corner of his eyes. 

“Good, good, but too much,” he agreed. They both panted.

“Want to switch positions?” suggested Victor. Yuuri nodded. Victor carefully pulled out of Yuuri’s ass. Yuuri let his hips fall to the side and rested a moment, before he rolled onto his back.

“Like this?” he asked. Victor nodded. He reached over and grabbed a pillow to prop up Yuuri’s ass.

“There,” he said. “Ready?” Yuuri agreed, spreading his legs wide enough to allow Victor between them. Using a hand to guide himself, Victor slid his cock back into Yuuri’s body with a long exhalation. 

“Yes, Vitya,” said Yuuri, pulling his lover down to meet him for a kiss. They savored the kiss as Victor started thrusting again, moaning into each other’s mouth. Yuuri wrapped his legs around Victor’s back, pressing his heels to his ass, helping guide the slow rhythm of their rocking. 

“Yuuri,” whispered Victor into his ear. “Beautiful. You feel so good. I want to do this forever.” Yuuri whimpered, arching his hips up higher, urging Victor faster. “I’m going to stay right here, just like this, inside you, forever.” Yuuri giggled at that idea. 

“You don’t... think I can?” continued Victor, panting between words now. “I’m very...determined.”

“I think if you don’t fuck me harder I’m going to scream,” breathed Yuuri. Victor responded by withdrawing almost completely from him and then pounded back hard. Yuuri cried out.

“See? You screamed anyway,” laughed Victor. He settled back into a regular pace, a little faster now. Yuuri’s pleasure climbed, edging him towards his peak. 

“Please, please, Vitya,” he begged. “Please, I need it.” Victor obliged, fucking harder. Yuuri kept shifting his hips to get the angle right. He was clutching Victor hard with his arms and legs, not letting the other man get more than a few inches away from him as they moved. 

Yuuri felt himself getting close, buried his face into Victor’s neck, his body bent almost in half. Two more thrusts, three, one more, and then he jerked, thrashing on Victor’s cock, shooting onto both their stomachs. He held Victor hard and clenched tight as he rocked jerkily, each movement of Victor’s cock in him feeling like a new peak. “Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck,” he realized he was chanting. 

It was an unknowable time before his spine relaxed back down and he let his head thump on the pillow. He unlocked his arms from around Victor’s back and his legs from his hips, letting his feet press flat against the bed. He pulled Victor down into a messy kiss, moaning in his throat the whole time. 

Victor broke away from him, panting. He thrust a little experimentally. “Ok?” he asked. Yuuri nodded. He wasn’t so sensitive it made him want to scream, anymore.

“Fuck, Yuuri, I’m close,” said Victor, and then he starting thrusting shallowly and quickly, to Yuuri’s pleased delight. It still felt fantastic and he suddenly wondered how long they could really keep it up. He wanted to try some time. Some other time when he wasn’t so hot and tired and loose and when Victor didn’t look so frantic. Yuuri laid back and watched his lover as he chased his orgasm, as it overtook him and he jerked and sobbed out Yuuri’s name. Yuuri mouthed Victor’s name in return, not wanting to interrupt his pleasure by actually speaking. 

As Victor trembled and slowly relaxed, Yuuri wrapped his arms back around him, leaning up to kiss whatever part of his boyfriend he could reach. His cheek, his jaw, his neck, and finally, his mouth. Their tongues twined together as they continued rocking, an echo of their earlier rhythm. 

Too soon, Victor pushed up and withdrew his softening cock. He stripped off the condom and tied it, climbing off the bed to dispose of it. Yuuri stretched out luxuriantly, loving the way his body felt: shaky and loose and well-used. It felt like stepping off the ice after a great free program, but better.

Victor returned to the side of the bed and Yuuri stretched out his arms to him. Victor smiled, looking worn out, and slid into place within the circle of Yuuri’s arms. He kissed the side of Yuuri’s head, nuzzling a little into his hair. Yuuri hummed in contentment. 

“That was perfect, Vitya,” he said, stroking lightly at his lover’s shoulder. 

“Yeah?” Victor’s eyes were closed, face peaceful.

“Yeah. So, so, good.” Yuuri kissed his forehead. “I love you.”

“I love you, Yuuri,” returned Victor, mumbling a little.

“I wore you out?” asked Yuuri with a smile.

“Mmm-hmm.” Victor snuggled closer to him. “Did all the work.” Yuuri chuckled. 

“Yeah, you did,” he said fondly. “Get some sleep, Vitya.” Yuuri settled back to listen to his boyfriend’s breathing slow, his arms circling him and slowly going a little numb, but he didn’t move. Finally, he closed his eyes and drifted off as well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, that was a lot of smut. 
> 
> miliy = darling  
> radost'moya = my joy 
> 
> Ok, guys, Real Talk Time. I don't know what happens next. I thought very seriously about making this Chapter 11 of 12 and making the next chapter an Epilogue of sorts. But I tried writing it and...it wasn't working. 
> 
> So now I really don't know. There are some things I want to tie up, but I don't know if that will involve one more chapter or two or maybe I get inspired and this gets longer. And I don't know if I'll have something ready next week or...not. 
> 
> I really appreciate the positive feedback you all have given me on this fic, and I want to do it justice, so I don't want to force something that isn't right. So...¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 
> 
> Follow me on [Tumblr](http://kimthreerings.tumblr.com) to listen to me whine about writing, and about the things I'm writing on that unfortunately are NOT this fic.


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